Cornered

Jokes

A man was delivering a futon to this little old lady's apartment

He came in with the delivery and asked her, "Excuse me, ma'am, where would you like me to put your futon?"

She looked at him from a chair she was sitting on and smiled, "oh! What a gentleman! If you could just lift it onto that chair for me, that'd be wonderful."

The man looked at the rather large box, then at the standard-sized dinning chair


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You either die a Hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the Villain

After several fights, Batman finally cornered Joker and he's sure he can put the Joker in jail forever.

Before he arrested Joker, he asked. "You know Harvey Dent once said" "You either die a Hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the Villain". "What do you think about that?"

"Oh, that quote" Joker laughed. "Harve


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We staged an intervention with our flat-earther friend.

He said he felt cornered.

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We stages an intervention for our flat-earther friend.

He said he felt cornered.

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Three mice

Three mice are being chased by a cat. The mice were cornered when one of the mice turned around and barked, "Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!" The surprised cat ran away scared. Later when the mice told their mother what happened, she smiled and said, "You see, it pays to be bilingual!"

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Me: uh oh someones under the mistletoe!

Raccoon I’ve cornered in the garage: [Hisses aggressively]

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Elephant's Mating Season

A guy applies for a job at the zoo. The head keeper of the zoo said, "Your job will be to clean out the elephant cage. But, I have to warn you it's mating season and they will jump on just about anything." "Don't worry," the guy replied, "I've worked with elephants before."

Half way through his first day he goes running in to the head keep


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A flat earther cornered me in an elevator.

He was wrong on so many levels.

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What did the officer say when he cornered the thief in a bakery?

Focaccia!

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I cornered my dad You like dressing like woman, admit it! He was ashamed and asked how I knew?

He’s too transparent

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Did you know Penguins scream during sex?

Well at least the one I cornered at the zoo did.

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Did you know Penguins scream during sex?

Well at least the one I cornered at the zoo did.

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Did you know Penguins scream during sex?

Well at least the one I cornered at the zoo did.

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I saw this guy getting cornered by 4 thugs, so I thought I'd step in.

Can't believe I'm saying this, but that nerd, Clark Kent, kicked our asses.

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Why did sir cumference have a round table

so he could never be cornered

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At a party a guy cornered a girl and whispered something in her ear.

"You filthy pervert!" she shrieked. "What makes you think I'd let you do a thing like that to me?"
Then her eyes narrowed and she said, "Unless you're the son of a bitch that stole my diary..."

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Hitler is cornered by two Mexican assassins.

"Any last words" one of them asks with a gun pointed to Hitler.

Hitler stares at them both briefly. "Nein, Juan, Juan"

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I was cornered in an alley way by a German holding a sausage

I looked him straight in the eyes and bravely said "go on, do your wurst"

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When the horrible self-cannibal was cornered by police...

he got so nervous that he threw up his hands.

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My friends still haunt me with this one my dad told us back in the day.

A coffin is chasing a man down the street. The man runs into his house, closes his door and locks it, but the coffin breaks through, he hides in the kitchen, but the coffin finds him and keeps chasing after. The man runs upstairs into his room, locks the door and barricades it, it isn't safe there either, the coffin busts through. He runs into his bathroom, cornered, frantically searching for


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Why did King Arthur have a round table?

So he would never be cornered

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