Convenience

Jokes

What's the name of a convenience store opened by a baby name suggestion by George Costanza and a popular netflix series character starring Millie Bobby Brown?

7-Eleven

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Where would you least expect an inconvenience?

In a convenience store!

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Flat-Earthers always change what they say about the Flat Earth for their convenience. Luckily there aren't any other groups that do that.

Thank God.

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If the supermarket chain Lidl opened smaller convenience stores would they be called Lidl Lidl?

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I walked into a convenience store the other day

I asked the cashier what year it is, he said 2019 so I yelled "IT WORKED" as I ran out of the store

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Blind man walks with his dog into a convenience store.

He lifts his dog by the leash and starts swinging it over his head.

Store manager runs over and ask "can I help you with anything!"

Blind man says "no thanks, I'm just looking around."

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Marge and Beth decide to take a smoke break during work...

They head outside, and discovered it's raining. Marge took a condom out of her purse, cut the end off of it and put it around her cigarette. Beth looked in disbelief saying, "What is that?"

"Well it's a condom, they keep your cigarettes dry. You can buy them at any convenience store." said Marge.

So after work Beth went to a convenience sto


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A Stretch of Convenience

I asked my yoga friend if she wanted to go to the convenience store with me, but she declined saying, "nah, I'mma stay".

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My wife and I decided we do not want kids

If anybody does, please send me your contact info and we can drop them off at your convenience.

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A man walks into a convenience store to buy condoms...

Cashier: " That will be $12.60, sir. Do you need a bag?"

Man: "No, thanks. She's not that ugly"

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Why cantt Indians play soccer?

Because every time they get a corner they build a convenience store on it

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A dude walks into a convenience store...

...and asks if they got any eggplant juice. The cleric says no so the dude thanks the cleric and leaves.

The second day the dude again goes to the convenience store to ask if they got any eggplant juice and the cleric again says no and the dude thanks the cleric and leaves.

On the third day the dude once more goes to the store to ask about the eggplant juice. The cleric,


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A man went to the store

So a drunk man went to a convenience store to get some more beer. Upon arriving he saw a barrage of police near the entrance of the building. As he was drunk he walked right past the police and entered the store.

The man walked out sometime later and said “y’all should be arresting the man behind the counter do you see how much that fucker is charging for beer”.


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Escalators

An escalator can never break,it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just an "Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience"

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Where does Hulk buy his pants?

At the Plot Convenience store.

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Hindu Women

For centuries, Hindu women have worn a spot on their Foreheads. We have always naively thought that it had something to do with their Religion.

The Indian Embassy in Washington, D.C. has recently revealed the true story:

When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into the union. On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the spot to see whether he has won a


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Today I learned why companies charge a convenience fee

It's not because it's inconvenient for them, but because it's convenient for you and you need to thank them.

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What time do convenience stores open?

7/11 on the dot.

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Best Jane Fonda Joke

Jane Fonda walks into the convenience store and asks for a pack of smokes and the cashier says ID, sir?

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Why dont Indians play hockey?

Because every time they go into the corner they open a convenience store

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I went into a convenience store and asked to buy nine-tenths of a 1 liter soda.

They said my request was aquart.

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A man walks into a convenience store and is looking around

[deleted]

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I like to pick up girls at gas station convenience stores.

Why? Simple math.

Everyone knows the Hotness scale of 0-10. However, not many know the amount of people at each level.

Assuming 7.4 Billion people there are:

~5 billion 5's

~1 billion 6's

~100 million 7's

~9 million 8's

~220 thousand 9's

~2 thousand 10's.


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I will never do in exchange of sex

I was offered sex with a 21 year old girl tonight. In exchange for that I supposed to advertised some kind of a bathroom cleaner. Ofcourse I Declined because I am a person with high moral standards with a strong willpower.. Just as Strong as AJax!, a super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available with scented Lemon or Vanilla... You can buy in any supermarket and convenience stores!


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"I like escalators, because an escalator can never break it can only become stairs. There would never be an 'Escalator Temporarily Out of Order' sign. Only an 'Escalator Temporarily Stairs Sorry for the Convenience'"

-Melania Trump

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Dude goes to convenience store and asks for cigarettes, gets one and warning reads " Smoking can cause impotency"

politely asks "Bro, give me the pack that causes cancer"

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A Smoky Racist

I’m a cigarette smoker.

The other day I was smoking and a guy came up to me and said, “You know, you shouldn’t smoke.”

I said, “No, it’s alright. My doctor prescribed these to me.”

And the guy asked, “What doctor would prescribe you cigarettes?”

And I said, “The Indian guy who hangs out


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I was offered sex with a 18 year old girl today

In exchange for that, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined because I am a person with high moral standards with a strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available with scented lemon or vanilla at your nearest drug and convenience store. Act now and save 1.50 off your next purchase


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A penguin is driving through the desert...

...when smoke starts coming out from the hood of his car. He sees a town in the distance, and thinks "there's probably a mechanic in that town, I hope the car makes it"
Luckily for the penguin, the car does make it to the town. He drops the car off at the local mechanic.
With a bit of time to kill, he realises how hot it is. "Fuck it's hot, penguins don't


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My dad was offered sex for services.

I was offered sex with a 21 year old girl today. In exchange for that, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined because I am a person with high moral standards with a strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available with scented lemon or vanilla at your nearest drug and convenience store. Act now and save 1.50 off you


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I was offered sex today.

I was offered sex with a 21 year old girl today. In exchange for that, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined because I am a person with high moral standards with a strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available with scented lemon or vanilla at your nearest drug and convenience store. Act now and save 1.50 off you


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Why can't Pakistanis play soccer?

Whenever they get a corner they set up a convenience store

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Did you hear that a former US president bought out a convenience store chain?

Bush did 7/11

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I went into a convenience store today...

I asked the shop keeper if they sell stationery there.

He replied no, they're allowed to move around.

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What is the difference between Batman and a black man?

Batman can go into a convenience store without Robin.

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The animal convenience store

It was 11am and all the forest animals were waiting in line for the convenience store to open. Some were obviously more calm than others.

Suddenly, the rabbit was making his way up through the line towards the store when the bear stops him.

"Trying to cut in line eh? " and Wham!, he whacks the rabbit and sends him back.

The rabbit gets up, dusts him


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A guy walks into a convenience store...

he grabs a single-serving meal, a single-serving drink, a single-serving toothpaste, a single-serving dessert, single-serving everything, and he goes up to the counter with it and the woman at the counter says, "Let me guess, you're single?" And he says, "Yeah, how could you tell?" And she says, "Because you're really fucking ugly."


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A programmer is working on a convenience store cash register...

A programmer is working on the software for a cash register computer at a convenience store. He finally thinks he got it done and tests a few items. Scans a gallon of milk:

> $2.50

Perfect. How about this bag of beef jerky?

> $4.99

Excellent. 20 oz soda?

> $1.59

Perfect. How about this box of cigaret


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Did you hear about the prison escape?

Those guys found the convenience of Home Depot delivery really shaves time off a project.

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A guy walks into a convenience store and gets a single-serving meal, single-serving drink, single-serving dessert, single-serving everything, amp goes to the counter with it. The woman at the counter says, "Let me guess, you're single?" He says, "Yeah, how could you tell?" And she says...

"Because you're really fucking ugly."


(credit to Rory Scovel)

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50 condoms

A guy at the convenience store asked the cashier for 50 condoms. Two girls in line behind him started snickering, so he turned around, looked them dead in the eyes, and said, "Make it 52!"

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A guy walks to the local Convenience Store at 3 AM

He intends to buy condoms.
At checkout, the cashier asks him if he wants a bag with it. Whereas the guy replies:


*"No, it's fine. She's not that ugly."*

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The Dot

For centuries, Hindu women have worn a dot on their foreheads. Most of us have naively thought this was connected with tradition or religion, but the Indian Embassy has recently revealed the true story. When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into the union. On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the dot to see whether he has won a convenience store, a gas station, a donut sho


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Single airline stewardesses are very lucky...

for their convenience all men are already sorted into different classes.

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Have you ever seen those "Give a penny, take a penny" things at convenience stores???

that makes no cents

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A man walks into a convenience store..

A man walks into a convenience store to buy a pack of condoms ..
The clerk asks if he would like a bag ..
He responds "No thanks, she's not that ugly,"

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My Dad's Go-To Joke

A Native American man walks into his local convenience story one day to buy a roll of toilet paper. He sees there are only two kinds available, so he asks the cashier, "what is the difference between the two?" The cashier says, "Well, the brand name one is more expensive and our no-name one is very cheap." The Native American decides to save some money and buys the no-name toil


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I robbed a convenience store today, only to find out I accidentally grabbed the cigarillos instead

i was close, but no cigar

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Did you hear the news story about the Jewish guy who robbed a convenience store, got in a physical altercation with the police and got killed as a result of his indiscretion?

neither did I. Shocking

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A man walks into a convenience store...

He walks to the counter and says to the lady at the till:

"I'll have a Kit-Kat Chunky".

The lady then hands him a Kit-Kat Chunky. The man looks at it and says:

"I asked for a regular Kit-Kat you fat bitch!"

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