Constitution

Jokes

"The Constitution says I have the right to bear arms," I told the officer

and he said, "where's the rest of the bear?"

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The US constitution guarantees the people the right to a well-regulated militia.

Have you ever seen a well-regulated militia?

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One Soviet Soldier asks another,

“What is the difference between the United States constitution and the Soviet constitution? They both guarantee the freedom of speech.”


The other soldier answers, “One grants freedom after the speech.”

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Where does it say protect the fetus in Sweet Home Alabama?

...that’s the state constitution, right?

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Why did so many people dislike the constitution?

It was too negative, they should have changed con to pro.

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Donald Trump tweeted the he wants to resign today.

But it was a typo. He tweeted moments later he wants to re-sign the U.S Constitution with only his name on it.

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An American soldier is posted to West Germany, and takes a week of leave in Paris

While visiting France he becomes impressed by France's history of revolution and the ideals of liberty, equality, and fraternity. He decides he simply must own a copy of the French Constitution, but can't find a place that sell a copy. He looks in a book store and asks the clerk "do you sell any copies of the French Constitution?" The clerk replies to him "Sorry sir this i


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What is a Republican's favorite Choose Your Own Adventure?

The U.S. Constitution.

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What does the Vatican City's constitution have in common with the constitution of the United States?

Both are by the papal, for the papal.

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If cons are opposite of pros... that means congress is the opposite of progress, and...

Constitution is the opposite of prostitution?

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The U.S. Constitution mandates specific footwear for government officials

In fact, one Senator, one Supreme Court Justice, and one member of the President's Cabinet are required to wear Converse All-Stars at all times.

It's all part of our system of Chucks and balances.

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The United States would be a very weak country in Dungeons amp Dragons.

They only have 1 Constitution.

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If pro goes with con,

Then what goes with the Constitution?

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If opposite of pro is con. Then opposite of progress is congress...

By this logic Constitution will turn into Prostituition.

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A Parisian walks into a books store and asks for a copy of the French constitution. The store owner says "We don't sell periodicals."

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Why does the NRA like the 2nd amendment so much?

Its the only part of the constitution they have read.

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Whats a mass shooters favorite weapon?

The constitution

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With all the political debate raging in the U.S. right now, I thought it would be constructive to briefly review the first article in the Constitution

It's "the."

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Con is the opposite of pro, and con is bad.

So if we want to turn the constitution into something better, then we should change it to...

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Is it a coincidence that the 18th amendment of the US Constitution outlawed alcohol while the 21st made it legal again?

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What's the opposite of the constitution?

The prostitution.

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The Soviet Constitution

(this is a joke from the time of the USSR, not mine, but I liked it)
A Soviet diplomat visits the United States, and is shocked to hear people speaking their mind freely about their government. When he asks an American how he can do so, he replies: "Our Constitution allows for freedom of speech."
Remembering that the Soviet constitution also allowed for freedom of speech, th


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My girlfriend caught me reading the US Constitution in the bathroom.

[deleted]

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How did George Washington survive being shot so many times in war and duels?

He put all of his points into Constitution.

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Which grocery department is great for digestion and your "constitution"?

Pro-deuce.

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Why are Americas so Hung up on the constitution?

It's fucking ancient.

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Pros are good and cons are bad, so...

What's the opposite of constitution?

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ZERSETZUNG

funny because America is not east germany? not even mad. grateful for unexpected opportunity to defend constitution.

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Did you know tank tops were illegal until the U.S constitution came out?

It gave people the right to bare arms.

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I like to read the Constitution for the articles.

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The Constitution of Japan

Article 3. The advice and approval of the Cabinet shall be required for all acts of the Emperor in matters of state,and the Cabinet shall be responsible therefor.

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Why did China write such a shit constitution?

Because two Wongs can't make a right!

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In Nollywood movies, old people have to give advice, then cough 3 times before they die. It is in the Nigerian Constitution, don't argue.

Cross posting without any permissions from [AkPos](https://twitter.com/AkposTheComedia)

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If the opposite of con is pro...

...the opposite of constitution has to be prostitution.

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What would Nicholas Cage ' main stat be if he was a class in an RPG?

Constitution.

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TIL that during the war of 1812, the United States government was so desperate for money, it was considering selling the US Constitution, as well as half of New England to the English Crown.

nigga u dumb

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How are cartoon women and the word "constitution" similar?

They both have one tit in the middle.

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Why Do The Iroquois Mention Lord's in Their Constitution?

Because they'll never be royals.....

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Armenian Radio

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “We are told that the communism is already seen at the horizon.”

Then, what is a horizon?”

We’re answering: “Horizon is an imaginary line which moves away each time you approach it.”

**And another one for good measure.**

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners aske


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USS Constitution aged

Q: What was the USS Constitution's nickname after it started to rust?
A: Old Iron Oxides

This one just kind of popped into my head at work yesterday.

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Similarities and differences between the Canadian and Chinese constitution.

Both have freedom of speech but only one has freedom after speech.

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