Concrete

Jokes

How many law enforcement officers does it take to throw a handcuffed person down concrete stairs?

None. They fell.

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What do you call a boxer who pours concrete floors as a day job?

Apollo Screed

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What do a fat lady and concrete have in common?

They both have been laid by Mexicans.

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What did the fishy say when he swam right into a concrete wall?

Dam

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Two police officers are investigating a smashed window...

a witness testified that someone had used a brick to break the window. After hours of investigation and searching for the brick the police officers were leaving the scene. The owner of the window ran up and said, “Have you found any leads” one of the officers replies “We couldn’t find the brick, there’s no concrete evidence.”


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2 slabs of concrete walk into a bar..

They sit down and start discussing how tough they are, until the barman asks what they want.

Concrete 1: I'll have a pint, and a shot of tequila, because I'm hard! I'm tough and can handle anything!

So the barman gets his drinks and asks the second.

Concrete 2: me? I'll have 2 pints, and 2 shots of tequila! Because I'm even harder!


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A man drops his phone on a concrete floor. The phone is fine, no damage. How come?

He had it on airplane mode.

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What does a plant cell typically consist of?

Three concrete walls with no windows and some sturdy iron bars.

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What did the fish say when it hit the concrete wall

Daaaamnn

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A local council employs an architect to address suicides from a local high-rise

The architect arrives and is met by the building manager who takes him to the roof

The architect asks the building manager about what the problem is.
The Building manager explains: "Well last January we had a woman jump off of here and it took 3 weeks to wipe the bloodstains off the car park. Then last March we had a feller jump off of here and it took 2 weeks to wipe the


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Is it safe to eat apples in Chernobyl?

Pretty much, yeah, only the apple cores should be buried in concrete afterwards.

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Two fish were swimming along and suddenly run into a concrete wall.

One of the fish exclaims "DAM!"

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Two fish swam straight into a concrete wall

One fish said to the other

DAM!!!

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A fish swims and hits a concrete wall,

"Dam," yelled the fish.

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POTUS

Dropping Donald Trump into a vat of concrete sets a very bad precedent!

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If a robber robs a house under renovation and accidentally leaves his handprint on wet cement,

Does that mean that the police have concrete evidence?

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What was the last thing to go through Eric Clapton's Kid's Head?

## concrete.

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What do you call the place where concrete is buried?

A cementary.

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What did the fish say when swam into a concrete wall???

DAM

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What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?

DAM!!

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I've decided to pour a new foundation for my porch.

I want to make concrete changes to my life.

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What did Jim Bowie say to Davey Crockett when they saw 4000 Mexicans charging the Alamo?

I didn’t know we were pouring concrete today.

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I dropped an egg onto a concrete floor and it didn't break

This is probably because concrete floors are really hard...

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If you pushed Donald trump into a batch of concrete

That would set a very bad precedent

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Did you hear about the guy who wanted to be buried in a concrete slab?

He was dead set

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Two fish swim into a concrete wall.

One turns to the other and says "Dam."

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A man drops his phone on a concrete floor. The phone is fine, no damage. How come? - He had it on airplane mode. More Jokes at https:www.short-funny.com

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An angry husband fills wife's car with concrete after she changed her surname

I hope she takes him to court, she has concrete evidence

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Eating cement is bad

There is a concrete evidence for that

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I mixed concrete in a washing machine once

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Youll sleep with the fishes. Said the Italian mobster, tying concrete to my feet.

He didn’t realise I was already banned from SeaLife for trying to do that last week.

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Whats the difference between concrete and a catholic priest?

One is inside altar and the other one is inside altar boy.

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What do you have when your mother-in-law has concrete up to her neck?

Not enough concrete

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Two fish swim into a concrete wall

Then one says to the other,
"Dam!"

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Have you seen my goat?

Two guys were walking through the woods when they came upon a huge hole. They wondered how deep it was so they stared to drop things down it. They started with a stone, and listened. Nothing. Then a large log. Still nothing. Then they found a huge piece of concrete. The two of them struggled to get it to the edge before dropping it into the abyss. As they stood there, listening for it to hit botto


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This really cracks me up

Screamed the concrete beneath the jackhammer

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What happened to the escaped convict who fell into a pool of concrete?

He became a hardened criminal.

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Two fish are swimming...

One of them runs into a concrete wall.

The other one goes “Dam!”

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What is the hardest thing in skateboarding?

Concrete

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What's the hardest thing about skateboarding?

The concrete.

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A fish runs into a concrete wall.

Its pronounced 'Fsh'.

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I just finished building my concrete speakers today.

It sounds solid!

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Told by a 7 year old boy: How do you drop on an egg on a concrete floor without cracking it.

Concrete floors are really hard to crack.

Then he said "you were thinking about the egg weren't you!"

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What did the russian man say when he got his meal at the french restaurant?

"This is a bag of concrete. Ho ho ho"

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Two detectives were trying to solve a murder

They found a dead body dumped in a ditch. Next to the body was a concrete block with blood on it. The detectives took the concrete block to run some tests on it.

Detective 1 said, “The blood matches the victim, and it seems like all fingerprints were wiped! This evidence is useless!”.

The other detective, confused, said, “What do you mean? This is conc


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To the person who has stolen my 5 tonne concrete boots and my invisibility cloak...

You can't run but you can hide

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My friend said hes tired from carrying around a concrete hose all day.

I said is that what you call them these days?

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I was trying to expose the cement company for using cheap materials

But I couldn't find any concrete evidence

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I am trying to expose the cement company for using cheap materials

But I couldn't find any concrete evidence

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Authorities fear that the collapsed bridge in Genoa was made with 'Mafia' concrete.....

....they've found 6 more bodies than there were people missing.

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