Conclude

Jokes

Yesterday i had a fight with my wife...

and it didnt matter me saying almost a hundre times "please let me conclude", she has gone and dragged me away from the courtesan at the best part.

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- To conclude your job interview, what are your favorite hobbies?

- Bilbo, Frodo and Samsagaz.

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The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.


The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.


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What did Einstein conclude was responsible for snow after winter?

Spring Theory

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The CIA,The FBI and the KGB

The CIA, the FBI and the KGB argue about who’s the best at catching criminals.

The Secretary General of the UN decides to test them. He releases a rabbit into the woods and each of the divisions has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investig


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As a chemist I can conclude that Freddie Mercury's voice is full of beryllium, gold and titanium

Because his voice is Be-Au-Ti-full

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Last week I made a self driving car!

It wasn't as hard as I expected it to be, like all those big company's are making such a fuss about it.

But after the first test drive my wife was very angry with me, but maybe she was right, putting our child in the rear seat wasn't very smart.

The police officers were also not very supportive, they arrested me and didn't even tell me why exactly.


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Last week I made a self driving car!

It wasn't as hard as I expected it to be, like all those big company's are making such a fuss about it.

But after the first test drive my wife was very angry with me, but maybe she was right, putting our child in the rear seat wasn't very smart.

The police was also not very supportive, they arrested me and didn't even tell me why exactly.


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Old Russian Joke

The Soviet Premier and American President are both bragging about how good their intelligence services are. They decide to have a contest. The KGB, the FBI, & the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at finding spies. They release a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They que


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A professor of sociology, a professor of mathematics and a professor of philosophy travel to a congress by train...

a professor of sociology, a professor of mathematics and a professor of philosophy travel to a congress by train into switzerland.

looking out of the windows, the professor of sociology happens to see a black sheep.

"how interesting". he exclaims. "it appears there are black sheep in switzerland.

the professor of mathematics replies: "dear


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What did the detective conclude at the end of the vending machine vandalism case?

It was out of Sprite.

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Southern Archaeologists

Archaeologists in Florida decided to dig straight in the ground in hopes of learning more about their ancestors. They dug 100 feet and found telephone lines and based on that find concluded that their ancestors were using telephones 100 years ago. Likewise archaeologists in Georgia start digging to learn more about their history. They dug 500 feet and find fiber optics cables. Based on that they c


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5 out of six researchers conclude,

Russian roulette is complete safe.

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The CIA the FBI and the KGB hold a competition

The KGB, the FBI and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary General of the UN decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they con


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Charles Darwin gets into an argument

Darwin was at a pub when he engages with a man
in an argument.
The argument becomes more and more virulent until the man remarks, "At least my children won't grow up to be retarded!" to which Darwin replies, "At least I'll be able to have children". The man is confused and inquires as to why Darwin said that.
"It's simple really, if two d


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The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals

The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, ki


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A penny lies below the cliff where a jew and black man jumps from, who wins?

We don't have enough information to conclude who's likely to win

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The LAPD, The FBI and The CIA

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they co


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The KGB, the FBI and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at catching criminals

The Secretary General of the UN decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no


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The LAPD, the FBI, and the CIA . . .

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they co


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The LAPD, The FBI and The CIA

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they co


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Why does a man's penis have a knob at the end?

The Italians spent 20 million euro on research, discussed it with 2 million woman, and conclude it is for the pleasure of the woman when men are making passionate love to them.

The French spent 40 million euro on research, discussed it with 4 million men and we conclude it is for the pleasure of the man when they are making passionate love to their women.

The Irish spent


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The LAPD, The FBI and The CIA

The LAPD, the FBI and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they con


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(My favorite joke)Who is best at apprehending criminals?

The CIA, the FBI, and the Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD) are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of


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The NYPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals.

The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn t


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Cops

The LAPD, the FBI, & the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.


The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investiga


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Ever want proof women are evil?

It is a given that women need both time and money:
Women = (Time x Money)

And we know that time is money:
Women = (Money)²

We also know that money is the root of all evil:
Money = √(Evil)

Therefore:
(Money)² = Evil

Thus we are forced to conclude that:
Women = Evil

**But


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The LAPD, The FBI and The CIA

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they co


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The LAPD, the FBI and the CIA

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President gets tired of the bickering and decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of


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An English class

was being taught by Mrs Doubtfire. She had a rough day trying to teach 8-year-olds the meaning and uses of prefixes. She wanted to conclude the class with a few examples to make sure they fully understood the complex lesson that day.

“Ok, to conclude today’s lesson, who can give me a few examples of negative prefixes that we learned today?” she asked.

&l


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