Concert

Jokes

If anyone is interested in a concert that only costs $0.45

It's 50 cent featuring Nickel Back

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What does a bear eat at a concert?

Beats.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I really should have listened to my father

I didn't know it was his final concert.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I brought my sister to an Oasis concert once

When they came on stage I shouted "Go Oasis!"

​

When I turned around, she was gone.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

When you want a picture taken with a celebrity at a concert or event

just make sure you shave your head and wear a hospital gown, works for me every time.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What concert costs only 45 cents?

50 cent featuring nickel back.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Punss

Person1: man the concert was so fake all he did was lipsync

Person2: one might say the concert was STAGED

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What concert costs just 45?

50 Cent featuring Nickelback

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

The concert last night cost 45 cents

It was a 50 cents concert featuring Nickelback

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I went to a soundgarden concert and ate a lot of food...

I guess you could say my stomaches a black hole sun

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

While at a concert

Canadian Guy At a Concert: "Sorry for bumping you there, yah?"
Me: "You do know that this is a mosh pit, right?"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What concert cost 45c?

50 Cent & Nickleback

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you get when you pay $0.55 to see a 50 Cent concert?

A nickel back.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

When I refused to buy her concert tickets for the weekend, my 15 year old daughter broke down and threatened to cry a river.

I told her to go ahead, but remember that she's so self absorbed the tears won't even make it to her cheeks.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

When I refused to buy her concert tickets for this weekend, my 15 year old daughter threatened to cry a river.

I had to remind her she's too self absorbed for that to be possible.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I saw barenaked ladies at a concert back in the 90's

I don't remember the band I went to go see though.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I went to a Poop Concert...

It was crappy

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

One of my friends is afraid of clowns...

...so I took him to a Twenty One Pilots concert.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What kind of concert only costs 45 cents?

A 50 Cent concert featuring Nickelback.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you call two black people banging backstage of a rock concert?

Black in black

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I went to a Foo Fighters concert the other day...

It was great to see My Hero, but man was it Everlong

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

The rock band and the old couple

A rock band made up of 3 young guys had a concert on a foreign city so they had to rent an apartament. An old couple happened to live at the floor below them.

It was around 8pm when the band started to practice and made really loud noises so the old man went upstairs knocked on the door and kindly asked them to keep the noise down. The boys answered : Today we're rehearsing for t


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I misplaced Dwayne Johnsons cutting tool for the origami concert

I can’t believe I lost the Rock’s Paper Scissors.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What concert only costs 45 cents?

50 Cent ft. Nickelback

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Who's featured in a 45 cents concert ?

50 cents and nickelback

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What concert costs 45 cents?

50 Cent with Nickelback.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why did the anti vax mom not take her teenage son to a concert?

She was afraid of the heavy metal.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Hitler was the biggest anti-vaxxer of his time...

He tried to get the entire Jewish population to concert to his “essential gasses”

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I once paid $20 to go see Prince in concert.

But I partied like it was $19.99

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I was enjoying the concert until the guitarist threw his feces at someone in the audience.

Then shit hit the fan.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A new emerging rock band is having its first concert

To be sure that everything goes perfectly the group's manager decides to invite a well known concert critic: If he decided to come and the concert went well, that would've been their occasion to take off in the world of music

Incredibly the critic accepts their offering and is present in his special seat during the big night

Every member is amazed by the incredi


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's the difference between a Metallica movie and a Ariana Grande concert film?

One's a Cunning Stunt...

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Family scandals are like a music concert.

Always starts with the new stuff and ends with the old hits.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I heard that the Sting concert in downtown Chicago didn't sell many tickets

I guess black people don't like The Police

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you get when you cross a metal concert and oral sex?

A whole lotta headbanging

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A concert pianist makes mistakes during a performance

Over and over the renowned musician kept making little blunders here and there, and critics in the audience were very aware. After the recital, one commentator said, "no disrespect, but you played everything from memory and had quite a few slip-ups. Just having a bad night?"


Looking a little irked, the performer wiped sweat off their brow. "No," came the con


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Orchestra

There was a full audience enjoying the music being performed by an orchestra in a grand concert hall, when all of the sudden the conductor clutched his chest and fell down stone dead.

The concert hall director rushed from back stage to the orchestra pit to see what he could do. After consulting with the various people in the orchestra pit, the director stepped up onto the stage to re


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I was at a concert, and there was a handicapped soloist on the stage.

"Break a leg!" I shouted.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I took my son to a Michael Jackson concert.

We got backstage passes for a private pre-show with the man himself. We were both really excited, my son in particular because it was his first concert and backstage experience.

The next day my wife asked my son if he had a good time. My son told her that it was not what he expected and MJ left a bad taste in his mouth.


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Concert Announcement!

The Goo Goo Dolls and Lady Gaga are set to join forces in the musical event of the century! We'll see you all at the Gaga Goo Goo tour!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

When is a Troll an Ogre?

When he stops to buy a Shrek mask on the way to the Smash Mouth concert

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why was the gassy composer kicked out of the concert hall?

He wrote his pieces in E Flatulence

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What Concert Only Costs 45 Cents?

50 cent featuring nickelback

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Did you hear about the family of squirrels that got lost coming home from the Eminem concert?

Turns out they forgot about drey.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My band is hosting a benefit concert for women with no legs.

The place will be crawling with pussy.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A man really has to pee at a concert

He walks into the restroom of the venue and stands in front of a urinal.
Suddenly he hears a weird sound and looks to his side. There hee sees another guy peeing but with two streams!

Intrigued. He asks how that's possible, two streams! The other guy looks up and explains he’s a veteran and by bad luck got a bullet through his manhood.

The man lets it


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Im not sure you should have gone to that concert during our vacation in Europe, you lost your hearing for the rest of the trip! Are you sure it was worth it?

Deaf in Italy.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why was the Japanese man sad after the Journey concert?

He couldn't stop bereaving.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you call a concert that costs 45 cents?

50 Cent ft. Nickelback

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What has 50 legs and 42 teeth?

The front row at a Willie Nelson concert.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE
LOAD MORE