Conceive

Jokes

I have an infertility joke

But you won't be able to conceive

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Is that your dog?

No, actually it's adopted. My wife and I were unable to conceive a dog naturally.

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I showed my sterile friend a photo of my son.

He just couldn’t conceive of such a thing.

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What is the best sex position to conceive an ugly child??

Ask your mother

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This one is from Nabokov...

I cannot conceive how anybody in his right mind should go to a psychiatrist

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Which came first the chicken or egg?

Actually it was the cock who came first after humping the hen and

impregnating her with his sperm and thereby letting her conceive and

lay the egg containing the chicken, oh wait this still doesnt answer

the question does it?

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People that abuse the welfare system always try to get their five a day.

But if they can only conceive one kid, then that's not too bad.

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Want to hear a funny abortion joke?

Sorry, couldn't conceive one.

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How did Mrs. Goldberg' parents conceive?

They made Whoopi!

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What did Cumberbatch's wife say to him when they planned to conceive and were just about to finish?

Oh God yes Benedict, cum in my snatch!

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My Lesbian neighbors Eva and Julia asked me to help them conceive a child recently.

They said they wouldn’t mind if we did it the “old fashioned way” as they weren't man haters!

For six months now we’ve been trying but I just don’t have the heart to tell them I had a vasectomy last year.

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My Lesbian Neighbours

My lesbian neighbours Sasha and Kim asked me to help them conceive a child recently. They said they didn't mind if we did it the old fashioned way as they are pretty easy going. For 3 months now we have been trying but I just don't have the heart to tell them I had a vasectomy last year...


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My Lesbian neighbours Eva and Julia asked me to help them conceive a child recently.


They said they wouldn’t mind if we did it the “old fashioned way” as they weren't man haters!

For six - months now we’ve been trying but I just don’t have the heart to tell them I had a vasectomy last year.

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My Lesbian Neighbours Asked Me...

My Lesbian neighbours Eva and Julia asked me to help them conceive a child recently. They said they wouldn't mind if we did it the "old fashioned way" as they were pretty outgoing. For 3 months now we've been trying but I just don't have the heart to tell them I had a vasectomy last year...


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The angel Gabriel appeared to Mary and said, "Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God. You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High."

Mary : I have a boyfriend

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Just thought of one: Why is an abortionist good to have on your team?

If you conceive something, they can execute it.

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