Conceal

Jokes

To show how easy it is to get a conceal carry permit, Stevie Wonder signed up for one.

Two weeks later, he received 15 CD’s from Columbia House.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Yo' momma so fat

she created an okcupid profile where all of her photos were extreme close-ups or taken from deceptive camera angles to conceal her true body type, then she sent me a message saying I sounded like an interesting person and she'd like to get to know me better

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Staggering how people conceal themselves!

My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs. I have been his customer for 6 years and I have no idea that he was a barber!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Hammer space is the special dimension existing in cartoon pockets or sacks from which cartoon characters can pull out any objects they choose that could not have reasonably fit in standard pockets or sacks.

Napoleon accessed hammerspace to conceal his comically oversized foam hand.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do people use to conceal themselves in the desert?

Camelflage

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

How do you conceal a cheese loving horse?

Mask a Pony

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

When Bruce Jenner was born...

They had a Gender Conceal Party.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Have you ever played the game where you conceal yourself and change religions?

It's called Hide and Go Sikh.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Some people need therapy.

... The rest of us just know how to conceal evidence

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you call a man trying to conceal his boner?

The battle of the buldge.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

How do you catch an elephant?

First dig a large hole and surround it with peanuts. Then fill the hole with ash to conceal the trap. Finally, go hide behind some bushes.
Soon enough an elephant will come along and start eating the peanuts. When this happens, sneak up behind the elephant and kick it in the ash-hole.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

How can you tell if an American has a conceal carry permit?

They'll tell you.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you call a WW2 soldier trying to conceal an erection?

Battle of the Bulge

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Statistics are like bikinis.

What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
Edit- This is a famous quote by Aaron Levenstein. A Professor told this to a friend.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Trouble asking a girl out

So there's this kid, let's call him Jerry. He's been eyeing this girl at school for months now, and there's a big dance coming up. He knows she doesn't have a date, and he would give anything to go with her- but there's a problem. Whenever he gets close to her, he gets an erection that would rival that of Charlie Sheen in an unsupervised pharmacy. He thinks he has a s


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

So reddit here is a couple dead baby jokes. (feel free to comment your own :D)

what is more dramatic then 10 dead babies stapled to a tree?
1 baby stapled to 10 trees.

what did the baby say to the wall?
nothing it died on impact

why did the chicken cross the road?
to get to the other side!
so why did the baby cross the road?
because it was stapled to the chicken!

how do you get rid of a baby?
put it i


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE