Compose

Jokes

Composers are such hypocrites

They compose when they are alive and decompose when they are dead!

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A woman went to a psychic

In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news: “There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just be blunt – prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will be murdered this year.”

Visibly shaken, the woman stared at the mystic’s lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took


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Teacher: Compose a story with Green, Yellow and Pink.

Indian boy:
"Green.... green...." the phone rang.

"Yellow....." I answered.

"Pink!" I hung up because it's a wrong number.

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What would you call a cat which can compose musical pieces?

**Debussy Cat**

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When I compose songs on my piano, I play multiple notes at once to make my songs longer.

They're extension chords.

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Everyone told Beethoven he can't compose because he was deaf

But he didn't listen

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Everyone told Beethoven he can't compose because he was deaf

But he didn't listen

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When Im on the toilet I like to compose rhyming couplets

It’s poetry in motion

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A German, an Italian, a Frenchman, and an Englishmen are debating philosophy.

The question arises over the course of their debates: What separates man from the animals?

"Technology," says the German. "Other creatures have tools, yet none can match the hights of engineering we have accomplished. It is our industry that separates us from the beasts."

"I disagree," announces the Italian. "It is our food. The creatur


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This guy said he was going to compose an atheist theme song ....

I suggested, "Don't START believing".

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Which fruit did Beethoven compose a symphony about?

Ba-na-na-naaa!

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Wives seem to love this one

In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the Mystic delivered grave news:

"There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."

Visibly shaken, Laura stared at the woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down a


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Artists can often be compared to a parabola

After they compose, they decompose.

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Beethoven found that having diarrhoea always helped him compose quicker

By midday, he was already on his third movement.

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Eco-friendly Home-invaders

[Here are a bunch of jokes I came up with in this mini-series]

"*hears water running* They're awake! *yells* DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH WATER YOU'RE WASTING?"


"*looking through jewelry-box* Blood diamonds? These people are monsters!"


"I am staring at a closet full of dead animals, and I am appalled."


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The fortune teller

In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the Mystic delivered grave news: "There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."

Visibly shaken, the wife stared at the woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hand


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Australian soccer team bus crash

Prime minister Tony Abbott was advised of an accident involving the Socceroos team bus. "Sir, the team is OK, but 6 Brazilian people were killed."
Obviously shaken up Tone took a minute to compose himself before asking "... Exactly how many is a brazillion?"

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What would myelinated nerve fibers write if they could compose music?

A Schwann song

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Wives seem to love this one

In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the Mystic delivered grave news:

"There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."

Visibly shaken, Laura stared at the woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down a


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In a dark and hazy room...

In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the Mystic delivered grave news:

"There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."

Visibly shaken, Laura stared at the woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down a


read more
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Did you know that Johann Sebastian Bach had 20 children with two wives? On top of this he was extremely stressed from all of the musical works he had to compose in a very short time.

He had a hard Bach life.

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