Complaint

Jokes

So I was reading about chiropractors in wakanda...

They were asked what the biggest complaint they get is and their response was *"M'Baku?"*

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Tom Jones Syndrome

A man goes to the doctor with a complaint, "In my right ear, all I can hear is, 'What's New, Pussycat?'. In my left ear, 'Delilah'."

The doctor says, "We call that 'Tom Jones Syndrome'."

"Is that a common malady?"

"It's Not Unusual."


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Yo mamas so stupid...

she filed a sexual harassment complaint with the police department because the officer that pulled her over told her she was driving erratically.

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I was at the gym last night

I noticed a hole in my trainer, it was just about big enough to fit my finger in.
Anyway she’s now made a formal complaint and I’m barred for life

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If a group of lions is called a pride, what do you call a group of "Karens"?

A complaint.

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"hey dad I wanna date the girl next door what do you think" said the son. " no you can't, don't tell this to your mom this but, that girl is your sister" he replied.

Son: "What about the girl across the street"
Dad:"unfortunately son, that is also your sister"
Son: "how about the girl that works in the bakery down street"
Dad: " I'm really sorry son but, she's also your sister"

So the son gets frustrated and, goes to his mom to complaint about it

His mom said "


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I went to the gym last week and I noticed a hole in my trainer big enough to put my finger in!!

...anyway, she made a formal complaint and I'm banned for life!

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A man goes to the doctor, complaining that his nose and ears are shrinking. The doctor examines the man, and assures him hes fine.

Six months later, the man returns with the same complaint. "Could I have a cartilage deficiency, Doc?" Again, the doctor does a thorough exam, and again he tells the man there’s nothing wrong with him.

The condition continues to worsen, so the man decides to get a second opinion.

"Yes, the doctor is taking new patients," says the receptionist. &


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Bleach is my favourite beverage

When people question me, I tell them to try it before they knock it. Never heard a complaint from them afterwards

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What would be the number one complaint about a Disneyland movie?

“The lines are too long.”

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Vinegar

A man walked into the shop to ask for a refund and said “Hi, I’d like to make a complaint about my vinegar, it has lumps in it.”
The cashier said “that’s a jar of pickles”

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As the doctor completed an examination of the patient,

he said, "I can't find a cause for your complaint. Frankly, I think it's due to drinking."


"In that case," said the patient, "I'll come back when you're sober."

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New cuisines

I went to a Chinese/ German fusion buffet today for lunch. I had the Szechuan Schnitzel with sweet and sour kraut. It was pretty good. My only complaint is that an hour later I was hungry...
For POWER!

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Went to the gym earlier, and while working out I noticed a hole in my trainer... just big enough to get my finger in.

Anyway....she filed a formal complaint and I'm banned for life

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What was the meteorologist's complaint about the meatballs he had at a restaurant?

"They should meatier"

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A man sat in a chinese restaurant calls over the waiter to make a complaint. He tells the waiter, "this chicken is very rubbery"...

The waiter replies, "ahh thank you bery much sir!"

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What was Nietzsche's chief complaint after visiting Egypt?

It was too Nile-istic.

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What was Nietzsche's chief complaint after visiting Egypt?






It was

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What was Nietzsche's chief complaint after visiting Egypt?



It was too Nile-istic

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I hosted a silent disco party in my apartment

I got a complaint from the mime next door.

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I was at the gym the other day and saw a hole in my trainer big enough to put a finger in...

...Anyway she made a formal complaint and I’m banned for life!

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The other day at the gym, I noticed a hole in my trainer big enough to stick a finger in

She’s now made a formal complaint and my memberships been revoked.

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A woman makes a complaint at a police station

"Help help officer. I've just been molested by a contractor"

"How do you know he's a contractor?" replies the officer

"Well I had to do 70% of the work myself"

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Well, I just got a very bitter complaint that the polo mallet I sold on ebay was too short

I told him to get off his high horse

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The police receive a noise complaint from a nearby tennis equipment factory

They were making a racket.

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I was at the gym, and discovered a hole in my trainer so big I could put my finger in it!

Anyway, she's filed a formal complaint and now I'm banned from that gym.

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An atheist walks into heaven...

...goes immediately to the complaint department.

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Elevators are the most chill things on Earth.

I mean, we continually push their buttons and they still do their job without complaint.

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I was just at the gym the other day.

I was on the treadmill when I noticed a hole big enough for my hand in the treadmill next to me, so I stuck my hand there for fun.
Anyway, she filled a legal complaint and I'm banned from the gym for life.

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How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Three.
Two to write a report and one to file a complaint.

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I need to file a complaint about a hostile work environment

The elevator keeps telling me I’m going down.

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A $10 Complaint

A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs.
When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, "What do you expect for $10 -- lobster?"

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My biggest complaint about Batman v Superman

is how the movie always just assumes you know which one is which.

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The difference between beforeafter getting hired

When Timmy went in for an interview at ABC company, he was hired after a very brief interview. A little skeptical at first, Timmy asked the company representative a few questions.

It went like this:

ABC: Trust me, this company could really use someone new

Timmy: If there is too much work, I'm going to quit...

ABC: We'd NEVER let somethi


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$10 COMPLAINT

A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs.
When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, "What do you expect for $10 -- lobster?"

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I'm inventing a new religion

It's my religious stance that anyone opposed to me should be killed. That's the basic principle to my religion which I founded just now. I discovered it when I slammed the door and heard a complaint about my door slamming.

I call it "I slam".

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A Night at the Metropolitan Opera House

At the evening performance, the head usher at the Metropolitan Opera House was quite surprised. During an intermission, one middle aged lady stopped and whispered in his ear, "Sir, I believe that I was sexually harassed!" The usher didn't think much of this complaint, but promised he would check into it soon. At the end of the nights performance in an area close to the first complai


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$10 COMPLAINT

A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs.
When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, "What do you expect for $10 -- lobster?"

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What is the quietest place on Earth?

The complaint department at a parachute packing company.

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Sir, there is a complaint filed against you. You called the prime minister a whore...

OK. Who filed the complaint, prime minister or the whore?

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$10 COMPLAINT

A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs.
When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, "What do you expect for $10 -- lobster?"

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$10 COMPLAINT

A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs.
When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, "What do you expect for $10 -- lobster?"

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A woman wrote a complaint to the hospital in which her husband had surgery...

She wrote: After his surgery he lost all interest in sex.

The hospital answered: Your husband was admitted for cataract surgery. All we did was correct his eyesight

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"What's the biggest complaint a sea anemone gets on dates?"

"They're too touchy feely."

"That's gotta sting."

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What do you call a cockroach filing a complaint?

A Bug report

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What was the under-appreciated, often-exploited kitchen contractor's complaint?

I'm always taken for granite!

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So Lena finishes dead last in the breastroke...

She immediately filed a complaint with the officials, because the other girls were using their arms.

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A teenage girl went to visit the doctor for her cough complaint.

The doctor examined her with his stethoscope. 'Big breaths' he said. 'Yeah, and I am only thixteen' she replied.

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I was down the gym this morning, when I noticed a hole in my trainer just big enough to get my finger in...

...Anyway, she's now made a formal complaint and I'm barred for life.

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I just went to the apple orchard with my girlfriend...

My only complaint was I didn't get to be in cider.

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