When I resigned from my job HR offered me a Cobra...

I turned the offer down because I don’t think it’s safe to own a cobra, especially during a lapse in health insurance.

Hey Chuck Norris I heard you got bit by a king cobra?

Yeah and after 5 days of agonising pain the cobra died.

Which evil villain would most likely defeat Indiana Jones?

Cobra Commander

Have you guys heard about the cobra who couldn't raise its head off the ground?

He had reptile dysfunction.

A snake walks into the womens toilet and all the women start screaming

He says "dont worry im Cobra"

What do you get when you cross a cobra with Michael J. Fox?

A rattlesnake.

I just found out when you resign from your job you get a free cobra!

I turned it down because owning a cobra is very dangerous, especially during a lapse in healthcare coverage.

ROYAL COBRA

- Yesterday, my husband tell to my father, that he raised a snake ... To which my Dad proudly replied that he had grown not just a snake, but a ROYAL COBRA!

What did the cobra say when he dropped his phone?

"That was a misnake"

If Ekans is Snake backwards and Abroc is Cobra backwards...

What does that say for Muk?

Chuck Norris was once bitten by a cobra...

Chuck Norris was once bitten by a cobra... After three days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

Chuck Norris and the king cobra

2 guys are in a bar, and one of them said:
guy1: have you heard about Chuck?
guy2: Nah, what happened?
guy1: He got bitten by a kind cobra!
guy2: What?!?!...what happened next?!
guy1: After five days of struggling and pain, the cobra died!

Why was Mr. Miyagi reluctantly allowed to do the laundry at the Cobra Kai dojo?

He's Anti-Kreese.

What does a limp dick and a king cobra have in common?

You don't fuck with either of em!

I just lost my job and was told I should apply for COBRA.

I said okay, but I think the G.I. Joes are going to be very disappointed in me.

How do you turn a cobra into a rattlesnake?

Give it to Michael J Fox

A conversation between a cobra and a librarian

-Shhhh

-Shhhh

-Shhhh

-Shhhh

And she did it on the first date . . . .

THE DATE...........................
Like everything in life, farts have a time and place. However, I never realized that in the wrong time and place, flatulence had enough power to alter my course in history. Well, it can if it’s the third date with the man ...of your dreams. And, if it makes his eyes burn. If God destined us to be together, I was one SBD away from foiling His plans (t

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