Clumsy

Jokes

What do you call a quadriplegic dwarf?

Clumsy

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Credit:jayC137

Clumsy vegetarians make the best DJs, they're always dropping beets.

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What do a county fair and a clumsy prostitute have in common?

A hoedown

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Im clumsy, so my my job at the tripwire and claymore testing company had a rocky start

But i think i finally found my feet

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My grandpa dropped 15 luftwaffe planes in WW2

He was so clumsy he couldn't keep those models planes in his hands.

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Why didn't the clumsy stand-up comic make it as a mailman?

His delivery was all wrong and he kept falling flat.

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What do you call someone who falls down half of all the stairs, gets back up and falls down the rest of them?

A clumsy piddlywack!

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Did you hear about the clumsy carpenter who went back in time?

He accidentally made a pair a docks

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I overlayed some dubstep to my favorite video of a clumsy fisherman

I synced them up to when they drop the bass.

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My wife said I am very clumsy and can't do basic housework properly, but some time after she accidentally burned her finger with the clothes iron.

Oh, the irony.

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What do you call a clumsy chocolate bar?

Careless Wispa

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A clumsy limbo dancer walked into a bar

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What is a clumsy persons favorite breakfast?

Ope-meal

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What did the clumsy dentist name his new office ?

Acci-dental

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Someone who is both right and left handed is considered ambidextrous. So what do we call someone who is neither handed?

Clumsy.

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I'm not clumsy

It's just that the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies and the wall gets in the way.

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I found a website for clumsy people.

I stumbled across it.

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Being a clumsy chemist is like going to the rave...

Sometimes you drop the base and trip on acid.

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The dogs in my area are so clumsy.

[deleted]

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Did you hear about the clumsy musician who tried gardening?

he dropped the beet

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Why do clumsy people get married?

They fall in love.

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If I'm so clumsy, explain how I can carry all this recording equipment.

*Drops mic*

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TIL about a clumsy, replacement teacher who thought a tomato was a vegetable

[deleted]

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I'm so clumsy...

that when I die, I'm going to trip on the staircase to heaven and fall into hell.

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Did you know that clumsy people are more likely to be obese?

That's because they keep walking into things.........like McDonald's.

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Old School Pirate Crime

Captain Normal Beard the up-and-coming pirate captain and his first mate Clumsy Edward were in desperate need of ink in order to make the numerous treasure maps they were sure create during all of their treasure-filled journeys. More than anything they needed red ink for the illustrious X's that will mark the location of the unbound riches of their future. A well known calligrapher lived i


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There are two categories of people in this world, graceful and clumsy...

I always seem to fall into the ladder

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Did you hear about the clumsy thief who stole sculptures of famous people's heads?

He eventually got busted.

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A monkey sits in a tree when a lizard asks..

..."what are you doing?". "I'm rolling a joint" answered the monkey. "Wanna join?"

The lizard joins but after a while the lizard says "I have a strange feeling in my throat.. Imma go down to the river for some water."

On way to the river the lizard feels he smoked a little too much. And he falls right in the river.


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Did you hear about the clumsy MC?

He dropped the mic

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Did you hear about the show with Clumsy Racist people

Its called the Klu Klutz Klan

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What do you call a clumsy ape?

A bumbling baboon.

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What are a clumsy person's favorite flowers?

Oopsie daisies.

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I was in the running for most clumsy person...

...and then I tripped and knocked everyone else over.

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Why do clumsy farmers make awesome DJ's?

cause they're always dropping beets

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Why can you never trust a clumsy barista?

Because she's always spilling the beans!

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What do you call a clumsy cowboy?

Wyatt Derp.

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A penguin takes his car to the mechanic....

The mechanic tells him it'll take about an hour to fix. The penguin heads over to the 7-11 across the street to kill some time and have an ice cream. But because he has clumsy little flippers he gets the ice cream all over his beak.
When he goes back to the mechanic, the mechanic tells him, "well, it looks like you blew a seal."
The penguin says, "no, that's


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What do you call two clumsy bees having sex?

A bumblefuck.

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Why did the hipster die a clumsy death?

Common sense was too mainstream.

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Champagne makes you beautiful

During a high-society reception, a man accosts a not-so-pretty lady and goes: "Madame, please allow me to tell you that Champagne makes you beautiful".

A little surprised and maybe a little flattered too, the woman replies: "I don't know what you mean, this is my first glass of the evening". The man then concludes: "This might be your first glass, but per


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What does a clumsy pirate drive?

A blunder bus!

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I used to have a job being clumsy...

But, I got tired of stepping on people's toes.

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How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb?

Depends on how clumsy you are.

*There, I've killed it. Move on /r/jokes, move on.*

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SKRILLEX must be really clumsy...

...he just keeps dropping his bass

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