Closet

Jokes

What do you call closet Purge ?

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A boy makes money from his Mom's lover

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What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

SUPPLIES!!!

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What do you and your Moms wedding dress have in common?

Both have been in the closet for years.

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A guy gets home early from work

A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.

He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.

"What's up?" he says.

"I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialling, his 4-year-old so


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A man comes home from work

He finds his wife laying on the bed sweating and breathing heavily

Husband: What's going on, are you cheating on me?

Wife: No, I think I'm having a heart attack!

So the man runs to the landline to call for an ambulance and one of his kids comes up to him

Child1: Dad, Uncle Larry is standing naked in the closet!

So the husba


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I'm not saying Mike and Sully from "Monsters, Inc." are gay

but they literally step out of the closet.

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Got one of those email chain forwards that said if I didn't forward it to five people, a zombie would appear in my closet at night.

Guess who's getting laid tonight?

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A spider just crawled into my closet, but don't worry,

I've got it under wraps.

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R. Kelly failed to appear in court today.

Sources say he was trapped in the closet.

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"Let's play hide and seek. If you find me you get to have sex with me"

"If you don't, I'm in the closet"

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What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

Supplies!

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Lil Nas X finally came out of the closet

Your move, Tom Cruise

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My dad would lock us on the closet for hours at a time.

He told us it was elevator training. Today, I was in an elevator, I nailed it!!

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I finally came out of the closet...

after my mom locked me in it after I told her I was gay.

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What's Blonde and dead in a closet?

The Hide and Seek Champion from 1995.

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What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

"SUPPLIES!"

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Why did the conservative politician come out of the closet?

...he had claustrophobia

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I like my women like I like my cigars...

7 years old and trapped in a closet for most of their lives.

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A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.

Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.

The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."

The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - &


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My roommate came out of the closet today

And it was pretty gross to watch so I’m moving out

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A semi-satirical Joke.

So a while ago, I went to bed and woke up not in my bed. I went to the kitchen and saw it was completely remodeled. That’s strange. So I went to my brother’s room and it’s pink and filled with girl stuff. I go to shower and when I look in my closet, none of these clothes are mine! And then it hits me. Oh, this is a home invasion. Get on your knees and give tell me where all your


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Old man goes to confession

Father, I've sinned. I', 65 years old, and I've been faithfully married for 45 years, and I've just cheated on my wife.

Tell me more, my son.

Well, I was walking home from the library, when a couple of college girls pull up, and ask me directions. The directions were kinda complicated, and I was going that way, so they ended up giving me a ride. The


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What did the janitor yell when he jumped out of the closet?

SUPPLIES!!!

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What did the gay man do with his shoes before going to the mall?

Took them out of the closet

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How warm is a janitor's closet?

Broom temperature.

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A girl wants to come out of the closet as gay, but is afraid of what her parents will think. She decides to tell them, so she says, Mom, Dad,

“I’m allergic to nuts”

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A roach flew into my closet and now he's gay

*get it because I made him come out of the closet*

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Why can't homeless kids be gay?

They have no closet to come out of

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I CAN'T GET INTO MY HAT CLOSET

MY CAPS KEY IS STUCK

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My daughter was red-faced with embarassment when I caught her having sex with her boyfriend..

"Why are you hiding in the closet dad ? Is that a camcorder in your hand ? " Was all she could say ...

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Hey, what are you doing in my closet?

\- I'm waiting for the plane.
\- What plane?
\-The plane you're goind on a business trip today.

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How do you name a skeleton of a blond in the closet?

Winner af the game hide and seek!

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Don't take your shoes out of the closet

that's gay

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Why did Predator call the police on Alien after he came out of the closet?

Because he said “I’m asexual Predator!”

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Im finally coming out of the closet

It’s been 25 minutes. My little brother sucks at hide and seek

I swear if he’s playing Fortnite right now.

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A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work

A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, “Its dark in here.”

The man says, &ldquo


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I feel really bad for homeless gay people...

...they don't even have a closet to come out of!

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A Chinese fella bursts out of the janitorial closet and exclaims

Supplies!

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What's the hardest part about a colleague coming out of the closet.

Keeping a straight face.

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I have some news for you guys. My Monster is Gay.

He just came out of the closet.

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I have some news for you guys. My Monster is Gay.

He juat came out of the closet.

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There's this kid who decides to scare his mother by hidings in the closet, and popping out when she grabs a shirt, when he sees her and this stranger start to make love.

But then his father drives into the driveway right before he could scare her.

"Oh no, my husband. Quick, hide in the closet."

The stranger runs into the closet without question, and the boy tries to start a conversation.

"Sure is dark in here."

"Oh my God, who are you?"

"I'm that women's k


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It must suck to be gay and homeless

You don't even have a closet to come out of!

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I feel bad for homeless gay people.

They don't have a closet to come out of.

George Carlin.

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I feel sorry for homeless gay people

They have no closet to come out of

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What do you call two lesbians in a closet??

Liquor Cabinet

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What do you call a closet gay in a red state?

A Republican

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Why do gay people refrain from coming out of the closet?

Because they're so far in it, that they're having adventures in Narnia! Who'd want to leave that?

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My wife was so excited that she pulled something out of her closet from 10 years ago that still fits..

"Can you believe it? After 10 years and it still fits!"

"Babe, it's a fucking scarf!"

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