Clip

Jokes

A lot of people dont understand the difference between a clip and a magazine.

One is a devise that holds objects together and the other is a periodical that contains articles and pictures.

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My friend wanted to show me a clip of Man United scoring a goal

\[ Removed by reddit in response to a copyright notice. \]

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What goes clip clop clip clop bang bang

An Amish driveby

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You might have started watching porn way to early when. Everyone encoded in the clip is older that you.

By like 6 years or more at minimum

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Why is a roach clip called a roach clip?

Because pot holders was taken.

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Why is a roach clip called a roach clip?

Pot holder was taken.

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A doctor goes to write some notes on his clip board, when he notices he was trying to write with a rectal thermometer...

"Damn! Some asshole has my pen!"

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I'm having a problem with Mother's Day coming up...

How do I clip my fingernails with two broken arms?

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Are you tired of people bothering you? Do you just want to be left alone? L

Carry a clip board around and try to make eye contact with people.

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I hate seeing a person clip their nails and leaving it on the floor

especially when we lock eyes through the bedroom window

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Why do they call a roach clip a roach clip?

Because pot holders was taken.

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Why do they call it a roach clip?

Because pot holder was already taken.

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Clip art guy 1: so are you down with trumpcare? it's going to be the best insurance evre! clip art guy 2: how are we going to pay for it?

clip art guy #1: you mean it's not going to pay for itself?

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Why do they call a roach clip a roach clip?

'Cause the name "Pot Holder" was already taken.

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Im looking for a joke for class

I thought it was a Ben Bailey joke that went something like....

“You can stop anyone at a crosswalk with a well timed ‘b-b-b-b’”

He’s talking about messing with his friends doing this and how it can get dangerous if you do it too much. I am struggling to find a clip for my presentation on nonverbal communication.

Thanks squad!


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What goes "clip clop clip clop bang bang clip clop clip clop?

A 1830s ride by shooting.

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A blond is at her doctors for her regular check-up.

They get to the part about her sexual history, and the doctor looks up from his clip board "Mam have you ever had crabs"
The blond looks at him shocked and responds "you know I'm allergic to shellfish."

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What music do horses listen to?

Clip Clop.

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So my mom bought a clip on cleaner for the toilet

My brother said it didn’t fit very well
My mom said “don’t worry, it’s one size shits all”

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A guy with 9 mm pistol in both his hand walked into a bar....

*guy: "So I got 9 in the clip and 1 in the chamber, who is the son of a bitch that is fucking my wife??!!!"

*guy in the back: "you gonna need more ammo than that"

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HOW MANY PAPER CLIP IS TAKE TO CONSTRUCT HAMMER

NEED TOO MANY, BETTER GO TO THE OFFICE STORE HO HO HO

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WARNING: if you see links offering a free clip of the new Nickelback album DO NOT CLICK!!!!! It links to a free clip of the new Nickelback album!!!

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I just had to clip my nails...

They were getting out of hand.

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Do you know why they called it a roach clip?

Because pot holder was already taken.

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I like to play russian roulette...

with only one bullet in the clip.

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Why did the guy who was into feet spend the entire first day at his new job looking for the perfect porn clip?

He just wanted to get off on the right foot.

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What goes clip clop clip clop... BANG BANG clip clop clip clop

A drive by shooting in Amish town!

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Watched a YouTube clip staring a special needs comedian

I wanted to post below about how inspiring it was but it said, "comments are disabled" [True story]

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As I passed the doobie to Dave, I pondered thoughtfully, "Why is a roach clip called a roach clip?"

As Dave inhaled, he wheezed, "Because potholder was already taken..."

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Why do they call it a roach clip??

Because potholder was already taken.

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Two men are walking down the street when they notice an enormous hole

The hole appears bottomless and the men, being men, want to see how deep it is. They find an anvil near by, grab a side each, shuffle over to the hole and chuck it in. The anvil drops like a stone but makes absolutely no noise. The men look at each other with a puzzled expression. Suddenly they hear this rapid “clip clop clip clop clip clop” in the distance getting louder and louder un


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What did the paper clip say?

It looks like you're writing unsubstantiated nonsense. Would you like to turn on all caps?

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Time to clip my toenails

There's no talon when i'll cut em

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Clip clop clip clop clip clop BANG clip clop clip clop

Amish drive-by shooting.

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What did the Westerner say about his recent attempt to join ISIS?

I'm not sure, the clip is just some gurgling sounds and then I think the rest got cut off...

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Best funny clip 2015

nice

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What goes, "Clip clop clip clop clip clop clip clop BANG BANG clip clop clip clop clip clop..." ?

An Amish drive-by shooting.

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What goes clip-clop-clip-clop-BANG-clip-clop-clip-clop?

An Amish drive by shooting.

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What goes "clip-clop-clip-clop-bang?"

An Amish drive by.

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Why is something that keeps you from burning your fingers on a joint called a roach clip?

Because potholder was already taken

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Why is a roach clip called a roach clip?

Because pot holder was already taken -rim shot-

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What goes clip-clop clip-clop bang!?

An Amish drive-by shooting.

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People with Bluetooth headsets need a clip round the ear!

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Have you seen that clip of the LGBT stripper who's incorporated martial arts into her routine?

No?

Well if you want to, just Google "Gypsy Bruce Lee".

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A computer game character walks into a bar...

I should really turn no-clip off.

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Why do they call it a "roach clip"?

Cause "pot holder" was taken.

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What goes clip clop clip clop BANG clip clop clip clop?

An Amish drive by shooting.

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Are you sexually active?

Doctor: sir, are you sexually active
Me: yes... WITH YOUR MOM!
Doctor: God damn...
*doctor writes "FUCKING SAVAGE" on clip board*

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Accidentally found my girlfriends porn

Browsing ponography on the web I accidentally found a video clip with my girlfriend in it. After seeing it, I felt weak, I couldn't stand on my legs… because I came so damn good.

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Http:streetpranks.blogspot.com201412funny-cow-clip-must-watch-it-its-really.html

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