Classical

Jokes

A classical musician bought a Stradivari violin

Now he is quite Baroque.

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According to classical mythology the titan cronus ate his children

i personally couldn't do it, but to eat his own

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Its pretty sad that my kids wont learn about classical music the way that I did.

From a cross-dressing rabbit.

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I told my friend I was a composer.

He said, 'What's your favourite piece of classical music?'

'You misunderstood me,' I replied. 'I do therapy for people with anger management.'

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I don't get why people don't like classical music.

I mean just go Bach and stop Haydn if you can't Handel it.

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My parents never let me listen to classical or jazz music growing up.

Too much sax and violens.

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Sex is a lot like classical music

First you start on debussy and then you finish on the bach

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My friends and I created a boysband of classical music.

We are the Bach Street Boys

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I've been invited to a fancy dress party at Arnold Schwarzenegger's house. The theme is classical composers.

I'll be Bach.

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What does the chicken who likes classical music says?

Bach bach bach bach bach

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My local electronics shop...

The local electronics shop down the street plays a lot of classical music, but it only sound right half of the time.

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bunch of semi conductors..

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Employees were discussing classical music pieces.

The boss came up to them.

He said, “Get Bach to work!”

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Two classical composers bump into each other on the street, because one is reading the sheets to his soon-to-be finished symphony.

He quickly hides the sheets in his pocket, but the other composer notices and asks:

„What are you Haydn?“

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Suddenly I hear classical music coming from a grave, sounds like its being played backwards?

“Oh, that’s just Beethoven decomposing”.

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I kinda stole this

The worst part about liking classical music is when you forget the name of a piece and you can't google the lyrics because there are none

⚠️ No Results For "there was a really good bit with a flute"

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Arnold Schwarzenegger's girlfriend broke up with him

Arnold Schwarzenegger's girlfriend broke up with him in hopes that it would be enough to stop him from dressing up as classical composers for halloween.


But deep down, she still knew that he'd be bach.

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What is Vladimir Nabokov's favorite kind of classical music?

Pieces that are in A minor

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A man wins the lottery and spends all his winnings on 17th century paintings and classical instruments.

It left him baroque.

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A man wins the lottery and spends all his winnings on 17th century paintings and classical instruments.

It left him baroque.

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A rock musician, a classical musician and a jazz musician are sitting together, drinking...

Rock musician talks about his recent band tour,
- "and after all taxes were paid and such, I was able to afford a nice little yacht from the remaining money."
The classical musician smiles and says,
- "Well, kinda nice. My orchestra sold so many records though, I was even able to afford a new mansion this month."
They curiously look at the jazz music


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My favrouite song shifts alot, sometimes it pop and another time its classical.

I guess that finally makes me a player then.

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I've been trying to get my girlfriend into classical music but she just isn't interested.

I'm Baching up the wrong tree.

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I feel the classical musicians from the 17th and 18th century were not financially well-off.

Because they come from the Baroque era.

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I was talking with someone about classical flute music

I talked to them about classical flute music for about an hour just talking about all the things I love about classical flute music and then he told me to stop going on about flutes and he called me an aspie but I'm not an aspie I'm a classical flautist.

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The three orders of classical columns are Doric, Ionic, and Corinthian. Sometimes Ionic is called Ionian.

I guess it's a less charged word.

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TIL that Hollywood is set to make a biopic about a famous classical composer, and Arnold Schwarzenegger is going to be the star.

When interviewed about the project, he was quoted as saying "I'll be Bach"

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Why was Pavlov's hair so soft?

Classical Conditioning

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The difference between gay men and straight men is the classical music they listen to.

Some like Debussy and some like the Bach

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Classical music is such a scam...

You pay hundreds of dollars to go see Mozart live and in concert, and every time it's just a cover band

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I threw out my back listening to Classical music.

Now I have bad Bach pain.

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I believe that everyone can sing well for a genre

Just for some people that's classical

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Would you like my movie about a classical composer travelling through time?

I'm calling it "Bach to the future" for now.

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What did the classical art museum acquisitions director say to the arts benefactor and collector of early Renaissance paintings?

S3ND NUD3S

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The classical elements are five. Earth, fire, wind, water

And the element of surprise.

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Why did Karl Marx hate classical music?

Because of the violins inherent in the system.


(In true r/Jokes spirit this one's not originally mine but I'm not sure where it came from. It's definitely one of my favourites though)

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Film producers wanted to make a movie about classical music composers



Film producers wanted to make a movie about classical music composers starring Stevie Wonder, Joaquin Phoenix and Arnold Schwarzenegger. They ask Stevie Wonder who he wants to be and he answers "I want to be Beethoven because I've always liked him". Next they ask Joaquin and he says "I want to be Saleri because I've always liked him" lastly they


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Sylvester Stallone, Jean Claude Van Damme, and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all making a movie about classical composers.

Sylvester Stallone said, "I'll be mozart."
Jean Claude Van Damme said, "I'll be Beethoven."
Schwarzenegger said, "I'll be bach."

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I tried to get into classical music

didnt work. the fagottos all sound to gay for me.

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What do you call a microorganism that listens to Classical music?

Bach-teria

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Why was Pavlovs hair so soft?

Classical conditioning

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Who is chickens favorite classical musician?

Bach.

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When I make you breakfast in bed, fresh eggs benedict, local picked wild flowers and freshly pressed orange juice, get into bed next to you and wake you with soothing classical music, a simple Thank you would suffice....

Not all this how the fuck did you get into my house business.

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What do you call two classical musicians ending their relationship?

They baroque up

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Ive been listening to classical music too loud and now my ears hurt.

I’m having some pretty bad Bach pains.

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What does Arnold Schwarzenegger dress up as for the classical music convention?

“I’ll be Bach”.

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What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when his 3rd grade teacher asked him to be a classical composer in the school play ?

“I’ll be Bach”

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Vincent: hey what classical concert are you going to and why are you wearing that fancy cologne?

Me: to Bait hoe, Vin.

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I had to pay for everything when I went out with a couple classical musicians

they were completely baroque.

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Always be careful...

Nothing can Beat this one.... ! ! !

Wife:
Whenever I sing classical, why do you stand in the balcony.

Husband:
To ensure that our neighbors don't think I'm fucking you forcefully..

😝😂

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What do you call someone lathering in the shower and singing along to Classical Music?

A soap opera

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