Classic

Jokes

A classic British football joke

Four British football fans are stranded on an Island, and one of them dies. They decide to eat the body to survive. One of them says "well, I support Manchester united, so I'll have his chest." The second says "well, I support Liverpool, so I'll have his liver". The third Guy says "hmm, I support Arsenal.. But I'm not hungry".


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Willy Wonka Wrapper Classic

Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was a salted.

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Andrew Luck just retired spontaneously from the NFL.

What World of Warcraft classic server do you think he's playing on?

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I added another line to the classic bathroom poem

As i sit here broken hearted, tried to shit but only farted. Pulled my pants up, the bathroom i departed. Had to sneeze and then i sharted.

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So weve all heard that classic riddle, whats brown and sticky?

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What's the difference between a nut and bolt and a pregnant woman?

You can unscrew a nut and bolt.

Above is the classic punchline, but it occurs to me there is another:

...but you can't unscrew a pregnant woman, you can only nut and bolt.

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What Do You Call A Murderer Who Likes Classic Rock?

Killer Queen

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Classic

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What is Mega Man's favorite classic rock band?

Rush

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What did the penis say to the ass?

Penis: hey, what you going on today?

Ass: my job stinks

Penis: whore put Mouth here

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH” -You after reading classic joke

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CNN: Actress Danielle Fishel announced that she and her new husband have a newborn son.

Yes it's a classic "Boy-Meets-Girl from Boy Meets World who then has a Boy" kinda story.

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GUIZE lol wanna hear a dirty joke?

I fell in the mud!!!

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL OMG SUCH CLASSIC FUNNY COMEDY JOKES HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!!1!1!1!1!1!!1!!!1!1!ONE!!11!!1!1!1!!1!!

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Joke - Classic Wow

How does one transfer their character from an undocumented classic wow server to the official ones when Classic Wow comes out?

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What is The Rock's middle name?

"best station, 107.3FM for all your Classic"

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A Jewish boy walks up to his father BDO asks for 5 dollars.

His father says, "4 dollars?! What do you need 3 dollars for?"

______________

Not my joke, but still a classic.

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SPOILER - Just finished reading the supposed classic The Very Hungry Caterpillar

Plot line is utterly full of holes.. I’m furious.

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Since my uncle fell into coma I'm always playing music to him,

I have heard vegetables like classic

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Jakob bought a guide...

Jakob wanted to post a funny meme he found on the internet, but alas the internet hated it. He wanted to get back at the entire internet, but had no idea how. So, he went to the comics book store. He bought a classic: “An Idiots guide on How to trick morons”. After the purchase, he returned home, and went on his favorite subreddit: r/jokes and started typing


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Are you going to Scarborough Fair?"


Thyme thyme thyme thyme thyme thyme thyme thyme thyme?”

All-thyme classic

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Classic walks into a bar

A man walks into a bar and orders six whiskies. He lines them up in a row and knocks back the first, third, and fifth glasses. Then he gets up to leave. " Don't you want the others?" asks the barman."You've only had three of your whiskies." "Best not" replies the man, "My doctor said it was only okay to have the odd drink."


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I noticed that people under the age of 20 are strongly gravitating towards 60s classic rock by well-known bands, such as The Who.

I'm not trying to cause a big sensation, I'm just talking 'bout my generation.

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The classic one!

An african tribe captured three man and told them all to find 10 fruits of the same kind and if they don't they'll kill them .
Tom comes back with 10 apples , tribe members told him to put all the apples in his ass without making any sound else they'll kill him. After the second apple he screamed and was killed.
The second man comes with grapes, after inserting 8-9&helli


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I heard that N.W.A. has beef with Sting.

Not sure why he hated The Police so much, "Roxanne" was a classic.

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Repost Joke 781

Hahaha that one’s a classic.

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Classic day at the stool sample photo lab.

crapshoot.

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Are you one of the classic blunders?

Cause I've fallen for you

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Why is shrek a classic meme

Cause that’s what ALL STARted it

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Whats the difference between a Lamborghini and a bag of Dead babies?

I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

(Not my original joke but it’s a classic)

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Classic Americans

We had a rough flight, but we finally landed. Everyone clapped when we landed. It was nearly a STANDING OVATION.

But we had to keep our seatbelts fastened until we came to a complete stop.

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What's worse?

Ignorance or indifference?
Don't know and don't care.

(Hard to beat a classic.)

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A classic joke, but with a twist ending.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

“I don’t know, why?”

“To get to the idiot’s house!”

“Knock knock!”

“Who’s there?”

“The chicken!”

“Jim, stop calling yourself names and get inside.”

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How do you pronounce the name of that classic British baked good, usually served with jam and cream?

Personally, when a plates in front of me, I call them scones, but when there's none left, they're scone.

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Everyone knows the classic wanking move "The Stranger"...

... where you sit on your hand until it goes numb so it feels like you're getting a handjob from a stranger. Donald Trumps hands are so small it wont work for him. He has to dress up like a priest and re-name it "The Alterboy"

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Another movie reboot

Pam and Doug were walking past a movie theatre when Doug pointed and said “hey look they’re remaking that old PG-13 classic, but it looks like this time they’re giving it an R!”

Pam looked over and, sure enough, there was a big poster for Planet Of The Rapes

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Classic arabs

What is arabs favourite phone?

Galaxy note 7

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Why should you never do math with a tiger?

If you add 4+4 you're gonna get ate.

​

haha, classic

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Albert Finney, who played as Scrooge in a musical classic, died today.

On Christmas day, I asked Santa to kill off Scrooge. He got the wrong one.....

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Did you hear the one about the recovering drug addict who was in to classic dance music?

He did the hokey pokey and turned himself around.

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A Jimmy Carr Classic

A nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her front pocket.

"Well, Some Assholes got my pen"

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Santa got me A.A. Milne's classic. I was overjoyed...

I told him: 'All I want for Christmas is Pooh'

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Just opened a Christmas card and some rice fell out

Classic Uncle Ben

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504,323

Obvious repost, but it's a classic.

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My friend was in an old movie about guns

It is now a Colt Classic

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Classic Family Guy Joke

Peter: Brian, Look! There is a message in my Alphabet Cereal. it says, "oooooo"

Brian: Peter! You are eating Cheerios.

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White robe with a cone top was really popular among the members of KKK.

It was a cult classic.

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Any movie praising Trump

Instantly becomes a cult classic

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Classic Brexit Joke

How many Conservatives does it take to install a lightbulb?

One to promise a brighter future and the others to screw it up.

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Classic pub joke

An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman walk in a bar and the landlord says “is this some kind of joke?!”

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There's a guy looking for a date..

He's a self proclaimed genius, and doesn't even consider a girl if she can't answer his old classic questions. One girl, a ginger, walks up, and he asks, "If a tree falls in the forest, but there is no one around to hear it, does it make a sound?" She couldn't answer, and gave up and left. A brunette walks up and he asks the question, "If our eyes are set to look


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Back when I was younger, I looked in the Mario Kart Wii manual and saw it had Classic Controller Support. I thought, "How the hell do you use that?"

Looking back now that I have a Wii again, I looked at my Wii remote and said, "How the hell did I use that?

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