Clarity

Jokes

People talk about post nut clarity...

But when I tried to clean my windows with it they just got all streaky.

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Stages of life.....

Till you reach teenage - Softcore
You won't understand anything in detail

Till the end of teenage - Hardcore
Enjoys in and out with no regrets

Soon after marriage - Indian
Expected clarity will not be there, yet thrilling

Mid life crisis - Scandal
You won't know what is happening to you

Towards the end - Hidden c


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I met a girl named Clarity

She gave me mixed signals

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So the other day I was using my laptop...

watching the beheading video of Saddam Hussain, but I didn’t get to see how it ended because i came so hard that my glasses fell off my nose. After that I found myself watching videos of the 9/11 jumpers and seeing them fall to their deaths gave me a sudden moment of clarity - “wow, I can masturbate to anything”


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I accidentally swallowed a contact lens today...

I've never seen my colon with such clarity before.

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A guy wakes up in pain after partying all night...

He pulls himself off the couch, stumbling out the front door, desperately trying to piece together what happened last night. He's limping, squinting, and definitely a sad sight to see.

He struggles to get home, his leg, --no, his hip it seems-- is shooting pain down his legs. He calls in sick to work.

He tries to recover, drinking water, a cold shower, and though the


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What's big and red and eats rocks?

A big red rock eater.




What's microscopic, green and eats rocks?

Syphilis.

edit for clarity

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So, I saw Simba walking today..

and he was walking too slow. So I told him "C'mon! Mufasa"!

Edited for a bit more for clarity..

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Bill O'Reilly was considering doing a few of his shows in a foreign country.

And he was going through a list of possible countries to choose. He eventually settles on Thailand, now that's obviously not the end of the planning, he then had to decide which city he was going to have his show in and whether he should do prerecorded shows or if he'd host in a stadium in front of an audience. He spends a few minutes pondering these two important questions when he sudde


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