Circle

Jokes

Little Johnny hears some new words at school...

So he goes home and goes up to his mother:
"Mum, what's a pussy and what's a bitch?"

His mother, mortified, grabs a magazine, opens to a dog and says "A female dog is a bitch" she flicks a page and shows a cat and says "A cat is also called a pussy"

Not satisfied with the answer he goes to his dad
"Dad, what's


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Mom, Ive got a problem.

A kid comes home from school and says, “Mom, I've got a problem.”
She says, “Tell me.”
He tells her that the boys at school are using two words he doesn't understand. She asks him what they are.
He says, “Pussy and bitch.”
She says, “Oh, that’s no big deal. Pussy is a cat like our little Mittens, and bitch is a femal


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The circle is just the most ridiculous shape in the world.

There's absolutely no point to it.

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How do you fool an idiot

-Put him in a circle room
-Tell him to sit in the corner

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What do the starship enterprise and toilet paper have in common?

They both circle Uranus looking for clingons.

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What did the triangle say to the circle?

"You are pointless!"

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NSFW A boy asked his dad what the C word stood for.

Boy, "Dad, what's a cunt?"

The dad replied, "Grab that marker over there and follow me."

He then went into his bedroom and grabbed a nude picture of his ex-girlfriend out of his dresser. He showed his son the picture and circled the woman's crotch.

The dad said "You see that circle and the hair patch inside it? Well, ever


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What does the USS Enterprise and your hand have in common?

They both circle uranus terminating cling-ons.

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Nintendo just announced they're changing Pokemon Sword amp Shield to Pokemon Circle amp Oval

After Game Freak decided to cut every corner.

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Why did the circle hate geometry?

Because it's pointless

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The teacher was teaching the kids about starvation.

Being a good teacher,she decided to call on selected students to draw a picture of starvation on the board.


Sue went first, she drew a round circle with three little lines in the middle of the circle.


The teacher said, "That's very good Sue. What is it?"


Sue said, "That's a plate with only three carrot stick


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Little Johnny is hanging out with the older kids at school

When one of them starts talking about his ex girlfriend and calls her a cunt.

Little Johnny has never heard that word before.

Later at home, he tells his mother about the older kid calling his ex girlfriend a cunt. Johnny asks his mom, what is a cunt?

Little Johnny's mother doesn't want anything to do with this and tells him to ask his father about


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A circle is talking to a square.

The circle says “I only have one side.” The square responds with “what’s your point?”.

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Why don't people get circle jokes?

They have no point.

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A Rabbi, Priest and a Monk

Are discussing how they will divide their respective churches funds with God.
The Monk draws a circle on the ground and says “I will throw all the money in the air and what lands inside the circle I will give to God and what lands outside my monastery will keep”.
The Priest said, “Great idea, I will do the same but my church will keep what lands inside and will give


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What do the USS Enterprise and toilet paper have in common?

They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons. Snarf.

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Pussy and Bitch

A kid comes home from school and says to his mom, "Mom I've got a problem."

She says, "Tell me."

He tells her that the boys at school are using two words he doesn't understand.

She asks him what they are?

He says, "Well, pussy and bitch."

She says, "Oh that's no big deal, pussy is a c


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Marriage is like a circle...

Pointless

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A guy and his girlfriend is driving in the mountains when an escaped convict intercepts them...

The convict pulls them over and orders them out of the car at gun point. Hesitant, they step out of the vehicle.
Pointing at the guy, the convicts orders:

"You there, step inside this circle and stay there. If you as much step out of this circle once, I will end both of your lives here and now!"

Cowardly and having no other options, he does as he's


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Can you make a big circle with your mouth without showing your teeth?

You're Hired!

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What do you call a bug that walks in a circle?

A centripede!

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First off, I am or will be okay.

First off, I am or will be okay.


I had a terrible accident yesterday after work, but I am doing better now. I decided to go horseback riding, which I haven't done in quite a while. Well, I got on the horse and started out slow, and then we went a little faster, and then we were going as fast as the horse could go. All of a sudden I fell off and caught my foot in the stir


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What do the USS Enterprise and Charmin toilet paper have in common?

Both circle Uranus searching for Klingons.

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An American pastor, a British pastor and a Nigerian pastor were asked how they determine God's share of their Church offerings

The American pastor says he draws a circle, then throws all the money up, and all the ones that fall within the circle is God's share.

The Bristish pastor responds, "I draw a line, then throw all the money up. All the ones that fall to the right I give to God."


When the Nigerian pastor was asked, he says, "I throw all the money up, and any God c


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Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge.

The judge said, “You seem like nice young men, and I’d rather like to give you a second chance than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I’ll see you back in court Monday.”

On monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge asked about the weekend?


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A mother and father live together with their only son...

The mother is a circle, the father is a square and the son is a triangle.

One day, the son says, “am I adopted?”

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Don't do drugs , don't sell drugs

There was a debating contest and in the final two boys had to argue why one should not take drugs. The first one drew two circles on the ground a small one and a big one, he stood in the big one and said this is the size of your brain before you take drugs and then moved to the much smaller circle and said this is the size of your brain AFTER you do drugs. Now it was the second boy's turn - a


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NSFW My son started school

On his first day he came came. The following conversion ensued...

Dad: how was your day?

Son: good.

D: what'd you do?

S: I played

D: did you learn anything?

S: yes. I learned a bad word.

D: what was it?

S: I can't say it, it's bad

D: come jump up on my lap and whisper


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My wife and I couldn't figure out the British term for a traffic circle.

We got the finally found the roundabout answer from researching about it in the library.

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Whats an ellipse?

A circle inscribed in a 2x4 square.

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A circle told me a bad pun

So I bashed up his assistant, Sir Cumference

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Whats the difference between an argument and geometry?

In an argument it goes in circles after someone goes off on a tangent, in geometry it stops going in a circle once you go off on a tangent

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Three shapes are in a bar. The square says, "So then I said, It's all RIGHT!"

The triangle joins in and says, "Hah, what a weird tangent!"

The circle walks in and says, "Hey triangle, you are looking ACUTE!"

Triangle responds "Hi circle! Good to see you AROUND!"

They all share in laughter.

Circle asks "Is this why we have no friends?"

A function f(x) overheard their en


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Three gentlemen were hired to reduce tge usage of drugs at school.

Each one was free to choose their own method, as long as it served their cause.

Three months later, the men had a meeting to discuss the effectiveness if their campaign, rheir progress so far and future plans. The first man stood up and said:

"During these three months, I convinced 100 middle school and high school students to never do drugs in their lives."


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A Circle says to a Triangle,

"Your life is pointless."

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And to which the Triangle responds, "Oh yeah, well how about I kill you and your entire family..."

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What do you call a bunch of masturbating cows?

Beef circle jerky

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What is pointless?

A circle.

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A mom shark is teaching her son how to hunt swimmers properly.

"So, first you go and circle them making sure your fin is showing. And then you go at them full blast and eat them.”

“OK, but why don’t I just go at them full blast and eat them right away?”

“I guess you could, son, but would you really want to eat them with all that shit in their intestines?”


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A group of people were standing in a circle..

It was a pointless conversation.

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I watched a sumo wrestler swallow a bunch of rare coins

I’ve been waiting for them to be back in circle asian

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Why does the space orange circle is being called a black hole, although it's obviously orange?

Because it looks like it has been dating black guys for a while.

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Fred, an IT professional is tired of being an office drone.

So he moves to Hollywood and pursue his true dream of becoming an actor. He is having trouble finding jobs, so he decides to take an acting class. To his surprise, he winds up in a class with Harrison Ford and David Hasslehoff, who are both brushing up on their skills for upcoming roles.


For their first exercise, the instructor has the class practice improvisation by arran


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Trying to date me is like dating a circle.

It’s pointless

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A stranger asked me to take out my watch and see how fast he could circle a fountain

I told him I didn’t have the time for this

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Growing up we used to vaccinate each other by going "Circle, Circle, Dot, Dot, now I got a cootie shot."

Which explains why so many of my classmates had autism.

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How long does it take to draw a line through a circle without going through the center?

About a secant

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A Christian priest, a Muslim priest and a rabbi are asked what method they use to give money with God and the community.

The Christain priest goes first. He draws a circle and throws all the money into the air. "Whatever falls into the inner part of the circle is mine, whatever falls on the outer side of the circle is God's and the communities.

The Muslim priest goes second. He draws a straight line and throws all his money into the air. "Whatever falls on the left side goes to me, and wh


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Why did the square say to the goth circle?

"Quit trying to be edgy."

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My team decided to establish a tradition

Everyone on the team would sit in a circle surrounding the team captain before the start of the season. He would then headbutt the ball at one of us, and they would have to headbutt it back at him. The captain would then headbutt it at the person sitting next to them. This would repeat as it cycled through the circle. We tried to get it consistently through the circle as many times as we could. Th


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What did the circle weeaboo say when he saw 5 circles?

Notice me 10π

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