Chuckle

Jokes

A man with authority walks into a bar.

He orders everybody around.


(Must admit this is a re-post from another thread I read that made me chuckle)

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Corniest Doctor joke Ive ever heard but it still got a chuckle out of me.

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An old Jewish man dies and goes to haven

An angel informs him that all those who lived a long and virtuous life and still believe in the creator get an audience with the Heavenly Father himself. The man proudly says “I do” and he gets to meet God for 5 minutes.

He does not want to God to hear the same tired questions that I am sure all men are asking about the meaning of life and how true the Bible is. So he dec


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So Steve Irwin walks into a bar for stingrays

The bartender stingray says "Ayy, Bloke, we don't serve your kind here!"

Steve responds with a chuckle and replies "I'm not asking to be served mate, I'm looking for somebody. I got a bone to pick with one-a-you."

The bartender stingray says "Alright bloke, I can see you mean business." He turns around and shoots a sideways n


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A man is sitting next to a mule and a sign that says $10 to make my mule laugh. Make him laugh and you win $100.

A stranger in town watches for a while and sees a line of people try all kinds of crazy things to make the mule laugh. After a bit he walks over and talks to the mule’s owner. The man finds out no one has ever made the mule laugh. He watches a bit longer before he pulls out $10 and hands it over. The stranger walks over to the mule, whispers in his ear and then stands back. The mule looks at


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A man has a mule and a sign that says $10 to make my mule laugh. Make him laugh and you win $100.

A stranger in town watches for a while and sees people try all kinds of crazy things to make the mule laugh. After a bit he walks over and talks to the miles owner. He finds out no one has ever made the mule laugh. He watches a bit longer before he pulls out $10 and hands it over. The stranger walks over to the mule, whispers in his ear and then stands back. The mule looks a him and then starts to


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Thanos snaps his fingers and half of all living beings dissapear

.....the left half.

So they are alright.

Edit: Not mine, found it on an r/AskReddit thread, but made chuckle so i decided to share :D

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(This is actually a joke by Jim Morrison) A Friend Of Mine Wanted a Duck Hunting-Dog...

...so he went to an old-timer to ask for some advice. He told him to find a dog with a tight asshole so that when the dog goes in the water, it won’t flood in his asshole causing him to sink. So my friend goes to the kennel, checking all of the dog’s assholes. The kennel owner sees him and asks what the fuck he’s doing. So my friend explains. The kennel owner lets out a small chu


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Some boy scouts are sitting around a campfire...

Some boy scouts are sitting around a camp fire and begin to tell some jokes. The first one lets out a chuckle and says, "13". The rest of the scouts chuckle and another says, "Heh, 6". This gets a good laugh from most of them and a third replies with "8". At this point they are at the point of tears. A first year boy scout however is very confused, and asks one of the


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Unoriginal but.. A gun is better than a wife

Because....

You can put a silencer on a gun.

😍😛😝😜 i just caught that joke from a movie i'm watching. made me chuckle.

😎

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My doctor said I was pessimistic.

Once, there was a shark who bit-off the left side of my body; he let out a small chuckle and said,


"I'm very sorry for this, but I think you are all right."


I replied, "Seriously, doc? I have nothing left."

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What did the porn star say to her coworker, The Invisible Man?

"Well... I did not see that coming."

sorry if it's a repost, but I've never seen it and I gave myself a chuckle coming up with it.

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Some religious people believe that serious illnesses such as cancer do not require medical treatment,

and can be cured by the power of prayer alone.

Sceptics may chuckle, but there is a scientific basis for this kind of thinking.

It's called natural selection.

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My 6 yr old daughter had a joke for me this morning that made me chuckle...

Daughter: knock knock
Dad: who's there?
Daughter: dwayne
Dad: dwayne who?
Daughter: dwayne the tub, I'm dwowning!

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What do you get when you tickle Chuck Norris?

Chuckle Norris.

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Three bodies show up at the morgue each with smiles on their faces.

A funeral director is keen to know why, so he asks the forensic pathologist.

The pathologist says: "The first person, he was hit by bus. However, a few moments before, he just found out he'd won the lottery."

"What are the chances?", says the director.

"The second person, he died of a heart attack. Which just happened to be while


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Where do pirates go for a good chuckle?

r/jokes

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You are so Handsome!!!

So, if sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with two people is called a twosome....I now know why they call you HANDSOME!

Heard this on the radio made me chuckle...😅

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Given Trump's 3 loves - Japanese, Porno and Truth - his slogan should have been...

MANGA - Make America Not Great Again!

PS. It's a joke - take a deep breath, relax, focus on the irony, relax, chuckle or move along.

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White people chuckle, Asians cachinnate

And black people snigger.

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If Paul Chuckle died instead...

Barry Chuckle would literally be a 'Paul Bearer' at the funeral.

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My 5yo son just told me this joke and it made me chuckle so thought I'd share... "Mom, if I had twenty apples in this hand (shakes left hand) and twenty apples in this hand (shakes right hand), what would I have?..."

"Massive hands!"

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How many of you forgave your enemies?

During Sunday mass, the priest asked the crowd:

-"How many of you forgave your enemies?"

Around 80% of them raised their hands. The priest then asked: "And how many of you intend to forgive your enemies?", and almost everyone's hand was now in the air. Everyone except a feeble, old lady in the front row.

-"Ms. Rogers, don't


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Aretha Franklin : R E S P E C T Find out what it means to me.

Barry Chuckle : To you!

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The Chuckle brothers are playing catch, and Paul shouts...

To me... To me...

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What do clowns wear on their hands when they punch people?

Chuckle dusters

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Ive just seen that Barry Chuckle has died, he meant a lot to me

to you

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Despite what people think, it's not all doom and gloom being a morgue attendant.

This morning I had a right little Chuckle.

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I wonder what will be said at the Chuckle Brothers funeral...

Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
To me to you to you

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In light of the death of one of the chuckle brothers.

The BBC reports at the funeral of barry chuckle it was all silent apart form the casket bearers yelling, "TO ME, TO YOU ,TO ME, TO YOU"

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Its a real shame about Bary Chuckle

He always be a British legend to me, and to you.

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I hear Barry Chuckle died today...

Oh dear, oh dear!

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Barry Chuckle died today. Oh dear.

Oh dear, Oh dear.

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A redditor goes to comment on a funny joke...

He thinks to himself, "This made me chuckle. Please take your upvote"

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I saw my friend on the jokes subreddit and immediately thought he was reposting

Turns out he was just commenting: ”This made me chuckle take my upvote.”

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Some OC from my mom.

A conversation between my [M]om and [D]ad:

[D]- I don't know what it is, but all the guys I know started losing their eyesight when they hit 50.

[M]- I guess the good lord knows what he's doing, then. All the men start to go blind when all the women start to lose their figure.


Made me chuckle pretty decently.


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Joke dad did with doc and got a brief confused look before a chuckle

After saying the heart rate out loud (in beats per minute) dad asked if that was metric or imperial values.

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Teacher turned to Johnny: "can you name me three great kings?"

Johnny replies: "Ure, it's Drin-king, Smo-king and Fuc-king."


Makes me chuckle all the time!! 😂😂

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Dihydrogen Monoxide

Only about 1 out of 10 people will recognize the reference and get a chuckle out of it. The other half probably won't get the second joke either.

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What is a clowns redeeming feature?

His nose. He at least gets a chuckle.

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Why did the scarecrow get a promotion?

He was out-standing in his field.

*KNEE SLAP*
*DAD CHUCKLE*

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The police are using sperm now as a way of fingerprinting people.

I don't know what was wrong with the old ink pad myself.


Makes me chuckle every time, name that sitcom.

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A man in Belfast is running late and darts down a dark alley to save time

He pauses a moment to get his bearings when he feels a metal object poke him in the back. Before he can react a muffled voice says 'Catholic or Protestant'.

The man thinks to himself if I say Catholic and he is Protestant he will shoot me and vice versa. But what if... 'I'm Jewish' the man blurts out. There is a short pause followed by a long chuckle. The muf


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They say opening an umbrella indoors is bad luck,

but I think if it's raining indoors you've probably already had some bad luck.

Haven't seen this on here before and it made me chuckle so here.
credit Jimmy Carr

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A trucker gets lost one day and as luck would have it, he comes to low bridge and gets stuck under it...cars are backed up for miles behind him....


Eventually, a cop car pulls up, the officer gets out and walks up, laughing hysterically and pointing at the trucker.

He puts his hands on his hips and says with a chuckle, "Got stuck, eh?"

The trucker replies, "No sir, not at all, you see, I was delivering this bridge when I ran out of gas..."


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Why can't Jimmy ride his bike?

Because he has no limbs



Kinda dark, I know. It's just for those out there who would chuckle at this. ;D

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The Chuckle Brothers hold the record for the World's biggest sheep

They've got a 2 metre ewe.

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What does Reddit and Dating have in common?

It wastes your time and you walk away with either tears or a slight chuckle.

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A General Election hosted by a Polish Chuckle Brother Lookalike!

[deleted]

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What do you get when you eat all of the potatoes?

*chuckle* they're all gone!

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