Cheer

Jokes

My girlfriends dog died

So to cheer her up I got her an identical one.

She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he means well....

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My friend keeps saying "cheer up man, it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water"

I know he means well.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Everyone sat around the table at the arm amputee support group

Speaker: how about a group hug to cheer everyone up

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What type of cheer move would you do if you were falling through the air?

The spreadeagle

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My dad said the other day when I was feeling down, Cheer up, things could be worse. You could be stuck in an underground hole full of water.

I know he means well.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My girlfriends dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one.

It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water."

I know he means well.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A blind clown is asked to perform at a childrens hospital. He is led into the amputee ward and begins with some jokes, but not one child laughs.

“A song, perhaps,” he thinks. “That’ll cheer ‘em up!”
“Ifffffff you’re happy and you know it....”

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My fly's been down all day ...

so I left some feces particles on the toilet seat to try to cheer him up.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's an appropriate cheer at the beginning of sex?

Hip! Hip! Hooray!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I was feeling depressed. My friend said, cheer up, you could be down a hole filled with water.

I know he meant well.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My friend keeps saying cheer up it could be worse you could be in a hole in the ground full of water

I know he means well

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My blind friend's guide dog got killed last week and since then he's pretty much stuck at home all day. So I visited him to cheer him up.

I brought him a bottle of vitamin C and he didn't laugh.

I guess besides being blind he couldn't see the humor either.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My girlfriends dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one.

It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with *two* dead dogs?”

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Warning...original joke

Some cheer from NZ. Watch this go around the World.

What is taxidermy?

ANSWER : STUFFING ANIMALS

So what is uberdermy?

ANSWER : STUFFING TAXIs

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Whenever I'm sad my friend always says "cheer up man, it could be worse. You could be stuck underground in a hole that is full of water"

I know he means well...

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A Christmas Myth

After learning about different ways to celebrate Christmas, the children were eager to learn more about the subject. Knowing that one of the teachers at their school was from the UK and maybe had an angel on top of the tree instead of the classic star, they went to ask him about it.

It's a long story he said: It began a very, very long time ago. It was a cold and snowy day, as it


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I blew Papa Smurf.

I was just trying to cheer him up.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My girlfriends dog died the other day. So to cheer her up, I went out and got her an identical one.

She was livid. What am I going to do with 2 dead dogs?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

OC (I wrote this) So there's an old man in a nursing home struggling to put on his shoes..

Hey I wrote a joke today I thought you might enjoy:
So there's an old man in the Nursing home named Henderson, he was getting on in his years and required a nurse to help him with his day to day as we all will hopefully. But today he had a brand new nurse. She helped him with all of the normal things and it went well, but when she was trying to help him put on his shoes he started cryin


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Hitler was standing on top of a Radio Station with Goering

Hitler: “How do I cheer up the people of Berlin?”

Goering: “Have you tried jumping?”

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

How does a redditor cheer up a sad freind?

By any memes necessary.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Two more

I mean... Ι appreciate that my friends are doing their best to cheer me up after my diagnosis, but I’ve heard so many cancer jokes today, that if I get to hear just tumor I’ll really get mad.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

When Im feeling down my friend keeps saying Cheer up, you could be stuck in a big fish, like Jonah!

I know he means whale.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My friend keeps saying cheer up man, it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water

I know he means well.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What did the cheer leader say to the ghost?

Show your spirit

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My dwarf girlfriend

Has been feeling a bit down recently because people keep remarking on her size. So to cheer her up when she gets home from work, I’ve got her flowers, candles, chocolates, wine, and I’m going to run her a nice hot sink.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

To bring some cheer to an otherwise dull day, I tried befriending a snowman

But all I got was a frosty reception.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

How the accountants cheer up their parties?

They invite a funeral director

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My wife's dog died yesterday, So I decided to cheer her up by buying an identical one...

Unfortunately instead of liking the gift, she cried and asked what is she going to do with two dead dogs

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Once, there was a little girl named Sally Ann....

....One day, Sally Ann was feeling so very sad. She was sitting by the pond as she usually does, but on this day, she was sobbing and sobbing and crying and crying.

When suddenly, a magical fairy appears right in front of Sally Ann's eyes! The fairy says to Sally Ann, "Sally Ann, you're usually such a sweet little girl. Why are you feeling so sad today?"


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My Doctor keeps saying Cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water

I know he means well

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Bill Clinton tried to cheer up Hillary this morning.

He reminded her that Nelson Mandela wasn't elected President until after he had served 27 years in prison.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Ive been really depressed lately

I’ve been really depressed lately. A friend told me I should go to the petting zoo perhaps, to cheer up.
\-
I went today, but not one person would stroke me.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A driver loses control of her car, sliding towards a concrete wall...

At the last moment, the companion on the front seat pulls the handbrake. The car turns around and stops inches from the wall.

The pale passengers from the backseats start to cheer their savior.

-Ah, no, honestly, you don't need to thank me. I'm not a driver! I'm a fighter-jet pilot, and in my plane this lever is for the catapult.


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My friend keeps telling me to cheer up these days.

He says life could be a lot worse, that I could be trapped inside an underground hole filled with water.

I know he means well.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Dad: Son I'm so sorry about my horrible jokes and puns.

Son: Aw. Don't be. They always cheer me up and that's what matters.

Dad: Well there was a pun competition recently. I submitted ten of my best puns to try and qualify. The results were so disappointing.

Son: I'm proud of you no matter what. But I'm curious. How many made it?

Dad: No pun in ten did.


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My mother today was a bit upset and stressed out, trying to cheer her up, I told her she needs to find happiness in the little things life offers us...

...She said she's heard that way too many times before, my dad kept saying it after they got married...

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My son was really sad today for no reason

I went and asked him whats the matter, he told that he got a C in math. I told that's okay and cheer him up. Then my mom walked him and scolded him for getting a C and asked him to apologise to never make this mistake ever again
Out of nowhere my son asked my mom to apologise
I asked why and he told 'cause she made you'


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My mother in-law has diabetes and hay fever

I like to cheer her up with flowers and chocolate.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My father was used to saying "Cheer up, things could be worse."

So I cheered up, and sure enough, things got worse.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My friend keeps telling me to cheer up...

He said, "It could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole filled with water."

​

I know he means well.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My friend keeps tell me to cheer up

He said, "It could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole filled with water."

​

I know he means well.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Three men are sentenced to die in Great Britain.

The night before the men got drunk and destroyed the Queen's garden. Knowing her garden is full of pollen, she offers them a chance at life under one condition.

The men must learn self control by sitting in the garden and not sneezing, not even once. If one of them succeeds in the time allotted, they will be free to go.

The first man sits and is able to last only 1


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What did the sisters say when they got drunk and had sex with their recently widowed father on a camping trip to cheer him up, but ended up getting pregnant?

"I guess this is our Lot in life."

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My friend keeps saying cheer up man it could be worse. You could be stuck underground in a hole full of water

I know he means well.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I brought gifts to an orphanage to cheer the kids up

Apparently, blow up dolls are not consider toys especially after they explode.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My girlfriends dog died, so to cheer her up I got her an identical one.

She was livid and screamed “what the fuck am I going to do with two dead dogs”

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My buddy keeps saying "Cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water."

I know he means well...

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE
LOAD MORE