Cheat

Jokes

In what non-contiguous US state did my wife first cheat on me while on a ski trip with her lawyer?

I dunno but when I see her in court, Alaska.

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A lion would never cheat on its wife.

But a Tiger wood.

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My girlfriend is the best person ever

I would never cheat on her and she would rather die than cheat on me.

Too bad I can't say the same thing for my wife

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Worried that his wife would cheat on him when he's away, the husband decided to draw a guard holding a rifle on her thigh

"he will protect you and our marriage" the husband said proudly.

Soon after he was gone, she succumbed to temptation and slept with their neighbor.

After their passionate lovemaking, the wife saw that the picture of the guard has been rubbed off, so she asked the neighbor to redraw it. As the neighbor is a great artist, she was happy with the drawing and confide


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Tom Brady told me he's on a diet.

Well, he didn't actually say diet. He said Sundays are his cheat day, but I can read between the lines.

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Say "thank you" instead of "thanks"

"I'll let you decide" instead of "whatever"
"I'll try to learn" instead of "I won't"
"Do you understand what I mean" instead of "you know?"
"I'll put in my best effort" instead of "I try"
These kind of communication methods will let people respect you more and feel your warmt


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People that cheat on their taxes truly disgust me...

This is not the world I want to raise my 27 dependents in.

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I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with her personal trainer

Me: This isn’t working out.

Her: But it’s my cheat day!

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I know how to cheat death

Stay at the living room

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Why did the gamer cheat on his wife?

Because hes a PLAYER

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Everytime I do something nice for my girlfriend other girls ask "where can I get a man like you?"

Right here baby, I cheat

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So, my girlfriend asked me what I did on my cheat day.

“Her sister” was probably not the right answer.

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Do you press the X button on your controller like your exes?

No, because I’d never cheat on a video game.

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A Lion wont cheat

But a Tiger Wood

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I lion would never cheat on his wife.

But a tiger wood! :p

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A recent study shows that 60 of people use their cellphones to cheat on their partners.

The remaining 40% prefer to use their penis.

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A boy and his girlfriend were talking

B : Not even in dreams.
G : Will you stay with me?
B : Of course
G : Do you hate me?
B : No, why would you think that?
G : Will you buy me gifts?
B : Yes, every chance I get.
G : Will you ever cheat on me?
B : No, stop asking stupid questions.

Read it reverse to see the conversation after the girl got pregnant.


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If she has a vagina shell cheat

Good thing my girl has a dick

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A lion wouldn't cheat on his wife.

But a Tiger Wood.

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3 men died and they come to gates of heaven...

St. Peter asks the first one: "How many times did you cheat your wife?"
The man says: " Many times, about 15"
St. Peter gives him keys of an old VW Golf IV and lets him into heaven
He asks the second man the same thing: "How many times did you cheat your wife?"
The second man says: " Only twice and i regret it"
St. Peter gives h


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My wife started getting into bodybuilding but I had to immediately divorce her

She took "cheat days" way too literally

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Did you know its culturally acceptable for a mother to cheat on her husband with an Asian man

Apparent-fucking-Li it’s true

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Would a lion cheat on his wife?

No, but a tiger would...

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Have you guys heard about cheat days?

Well, I kinda misunderstood that, and now my girlfriend has dumped me.

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A lion will never cheat on his wife

But a tiger wood...

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I saw my girlfriend cheat on me with 7 men.

This was already after I had visited several psychologists for depression. They had suggested I keep a journal.

So I labelled that event : ManDate of Seven

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In 1931, a bride and groom

were in the hotel room on the first night of their honeymoon.

The husband sat down facing his wife and took her hands, "Darling, I know we've promised to cleave only onto each other, but I want to say it again, more strongly. I love you, only you. and I swear, I will never betray you with another woman. But, to show you how honest I'm being, there is one exception. If


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Why didn't the fruit ever cheat?

Because he was a cantalope!

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Today is March 14th, pi day is cheat day!

She still broke up with me though.

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Tomorrow isnt promised...

so cheat on your girlfriend today!

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Where is the best place to cheat on someone.

A Ferris wheel

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If you cheat on me you only hurting yo grandma

cuz me and my homies jumping her

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Wanna know how diets and girls are similar?

If you cheat on it, you’re body will not be okay.

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Dont steal, dont lie and dont cheat.

The government hates competition.

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Today I admitted to my girlfriend that Ive been cheating. Apparently, she has been too.

She saw my internet history so I knew there was no way out of it. I had to come clean.

She used my Safari to search for something when his phone was dead, and caught me.

We play Wordscapes and although it isn’t a huge competition between us, I’m much father along in the game than she is (I also started before her).

Sometimes when I’m really


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Why is it impolite to say Donald Trump is a racist, con man and a cheat?

Ettiquete dictates you say, "President Donald Trump is a racist, con man and a cheat."

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I can't remember my last cheat day.

But I think I said it was going to be tomorrow.

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A man and his wife are arguing since the husband cheated.

The wife is yelling, “What the hell did you think you’re doing?!”

The husband replies, saying he didn’t cheat on her. She replies once more, saying that he did. The husband then replies-

“I’ll admit, I cheated on you, but only 50% of you.”

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A man and his wife are arguing since the husband cheated.

The wife is yelling, “What the hell did you think you’re doing?!”

The husband replies, saying he didn’t cheat on her. She replies once more, saying that he did. The husband then replies-

“I’ll admit, I cheated on you, but only 50% of you.”

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I don't understand how people can cheat in a relationship

I can't even get one person to like me let alone two.

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What do college exams and wives have in common?

When you cheat on them best to do it in secret.

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People that cheat on their taxes disgust me.

This is not the world I want to raise my 23 dependents in..

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Don't worry about straying from your diet today.

It's Tom Brady's cheat day, too.

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We were at McDonalds racing down the slides and I beat my son

I explained to the police it was because he was trying to cheat.

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I would never cheat in a relationship,

because that would require two people to find me attractive.

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How to cheat on your exams

Step 1: start doing an exam. This is the one you'll cheat on.

Step 2: find another exam while still doing the 1st one.

Step 3: start doing the second one in secret, hiding it from the first one.

Step 4: repeat steps 2 and 3 until you either get bored, or get caught cheating.

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So just as the election was heating up, Bannon and Trump were talking

Bannon warned Trump “You can take the White House, but we will have to cheat a lot, and you won’t be legitimate. It will be a hollow victory.”

And Trump replies “I want my empty V”

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Gillette Gate - What would Tampax do?

Gentlemen of the patriarchy, its Plan B on toiletries. The weaponisation stage.

If the Gillette advert was aimed at women, it would be equivalent to a tampon manufacturer saying:

"Women, remember that it is truly shameful when we cheat. Finally, society has had enough .. of our duplicity ... our false accusations... what we have done to mankind. We should be ashamed


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I went to college to study foreign affairs

And now I know how to cheat on my wife with a russian beauty!

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My wife accused me of cheating today. I didnt mean to

But today was cheat day and that chocolate cake was good.

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