Chapter

Jokes

"Trump says not to worry about a recession. He says he always finds a way to win and that he wrote the book on surviving financial catastrophe.

Specifically, chapter 11."

Bill Maher from his show on Friday

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"Trump says not to worry about a recession. He always finds a way to win, and he wrote the book on surviving financial catastrophe.

Specifically, chapter 11."

- Bill Maher from his show on Friday

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I'm reading Storm of Swords in Braille and Robb Stark is about to get married

....I have a bad feeling about this chapter.

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Having too much sex can cause memory loss.

I read that in chapter 3, page 37 in a medical journal on Tuesday, November 2006 at 4:19PM.

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Did you hear about the Canadian chapter of the KKK?

They call themselves the Eh Eh Eh.

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I recently read Donald Trumps book...

Unfortunately, I didn’t get past Chapter 11.

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I used to think Science and Religion didn't mix, but my Astronomy professor is always talking about how sexy angels are

We even had an entire chapter devoted to Celestial Bodies, and let me tell you, some of them are incredibly hot.

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One stone is enough to break a glass!

One sentence is enough to break a heart 💔

One second is enough to Fall in Love!

When Why the Hell
One chapter is not enough to pass the exam!!!!

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I met the author of IT yesterday

He told me about the upcoming sequel to the 2018 movie based on the book. Apparently it was called IT chapter 2 and everything. I was stunned, incredulous even. I asked him, "Are you joking?"

He said, "No, I am Stephen King!"

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I tried reading Trump's autobiography but

it kept on going back to Chapter 11.

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I tried reading Trumps biography but

it kept on going back to chapter 11.

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I was talking to John 3:16, it was telling me that it really wished it was in any chapter other than chapter 3. I asked, Oh, do you not like chapter 3?

And John 3:16 said “Yeah, I’m averse to that chapter.”

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Michael Cohen's new book ends the same way as Trump's stories.

At chapter 11.

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Micheal Cohen's latest book wasn't as long as I expected ...(Spoiler)

It abruptly ended at Chapter 11

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I don't know why people say Donald Trump doesn't read books...

He always gets to chapter 11.

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If Toys R Us had a book,

Chapter 11 would be named "bankruptcy"

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What's the name of the book?

First chapter: One sperm dies.
Second chapter: 100 sperms die.
Third chapter: All the sperms die.

What's the name of the book?

Sementery.

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Why is Donald Trumps biography so long?

It has four Chapter 11s.

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What is Donald Trump's favorite movie?

Ocean's Chapter Eleven

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I love Harry Potter but after re-reading the chapter the death-day party I realized something about nearly headless nick

He was a very poorly executed character

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Why is "The Art of the Deal" such a long book?

It has four Chapter 11's

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Why does Donald Trump's book "Art of the Deal" weigh so much?

It has four chapter elevens.

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What's the only book with four chapter 11s?

*The Art of The Deal*

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The Art of The Deal by Donald Trump:

The only book with three chapter 11's

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Canada and the US are finalizing negotiations for dairy tariffs and Chapter 19 re: NAFTA which is bad news for Trump...

He only understands Chapter 11

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What does every one of Donald Trumps books start with?

Chapter 11

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Page

If multiple people named "Paige" hung out together would it called a chapter?

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A husband a wife are looking to spice up their marriage...

So the husband goes out and buys a sex position book. They’re trying all the positions when they get to a chapter that requires three people. The wife suggests they invite their neighbor, Shawn; Shawn eagerly agrees to join. They’re making their way through the chapter when one day Shawn abruptly jumps up and starts to leave very upset. “Fuck this!”, he says. The wife tries


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I asked a fraternity member for an pamphlet about his chapter.

He said, "Bro, sure."

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"Your case is quite complicated."

Patient: Why doctor? What happened?

Doc: You have a disease from the chapter I skipped during my studies.

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Why can't President Trump ever finish reading a book?

Because everything he starts ends with chapter 11.

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Why hasn't Donald Trump ever finished a book?

Because he keeps repeating Chapter 11.

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Two psychology professors have lunch together...

One said: "Oh boy, something really embarassing happened to me today - I had a Freudian slip today in lecture. I wanted to tell my students 'read chapter 14 on Ivan Pavlov'. Instead I accidentally said 'read chapter 14 on Ivan Fuckloaf'"

"Oh well", said the other, "that's nothing. I was having breakfast with my wife this morning and ha


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In the book of Mark, Chapter 12, Verse 25 the jesus says, "In heaven there is no marriage." No men, no women, only angels...

Sooooooo, it's like Berkley?

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Have you read Trump's book on finances?

It has four Chapter 11s.

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Four professionals were having drinks one evening

Eventually, the topic got around to whose profession was the oldest.

The lawyer said, "In Genesis, chapter 3, God banished Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden as punishment for eating forbidden fruit. That's a trial and a sentence. Clearly, law was the first profession."

The doctor, not to be outdone, said, "But in Genesis, chapter 2, God put Adam i


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Isnt it funny how many building engineers wont include a thirteenth floor

Yet book publishers don’t seem afraid to have a chapter eleven...

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Donald Trump has written several books on business...

and they all end in chapter eleven.


Credit to Triumph for that one.

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My friend tells me she's sitting on the board of the local chapter of Rotory Club.

I just hope they have good cushions..

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A guys walks into a bar

Sits down and orders a drink. As he sits there he pulls out a small religious pamphlet and begins reading. He gets through the first chapter and stops and puts it away. The bartender looks at him curiously and asks "Whatcha reading?. The man looks back up and says "Oh its about converting to Mormonism. I want to become a member but I know it'll be hard so I'm gonna tackle one t


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What did Douglas Adams say after he finished writing the first chapter of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy?

Ah, I've finally put a dent in that book.

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Why is the last chapter in a chemistry textbook about benzene?

Because it's the PHENYL CHAPTER :D

I came up with this myself. I'm so proud.

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Donald Trump's autobiography comes out next week.

Chapter 11 takes up most of the book.

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What do you call a group of girls all named Paige?

A chapter.

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A priest started his Sunday sermon by saying...

... "Today's sermon is going to be about 'liars'. How many of you have read the 69th chapter of the gospel according to St Matthew? "

Nearly everyone raised their hands.

"You are exactly the people I want speak to. There is no 69th chapter of the gospel according to St Matthew."


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What is a good title for a movie about bacon?

"Babe: The Final Chapter"

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I have decided to write erotic literature for premature ejaculators.

-----

Chapter 1

-----

He looked at her.

-----

The End.

-----

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Twitter management's favorite part of a book is always

Chapter 11

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So back in Gr.8 Science, class reading of a chapter in biology...

The dyslexic girl had issues talking about the growth and creation of orgasms.

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?Movie watch.. Insidious: Chapter 3-2015.. Online-Free.. Full. Movie. Stream. HD... Full-Movie.. Free..KeNtHi

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