Change

Jokes

A circus wants to change some things about one of it's acts to make it more modern, but they don't want to give up all of the originality

It's a balancing act.

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A man walks into a courthouse and says Id like to change my name.


Clerk goes - “May I see your ID sir? Oh wow, Alex Shithead, that’s quite a name. Yes, I totally understand. What do you want to change it to?”
-“I wanna be Alex”.

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What would Steve Harvey change his name to if he suddenly became bulimic?

Heave Starvey

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Did you hear they're going to change the loon on the Loonie to two gay bucks?

Now everyone can have two fucking bucks

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb

None, they can't change anything

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His and Hers rules. (Must read ALL the rules)

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb.

You already know the punchline why did you click this.
Pls downvote me into Oblivion. Pls

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I'm terrified of arcades and laundry mats

Change scares me

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How many testers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Testers don't fix the problems!

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The other day a homeless man asked me for some change so I got my wallet out and realised I only had a 20 note... ...I thought to myself, "Do I really want this money being spent on drugs?"

I decided I didn't so I gave him the money

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How many NYPD Officers does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they just beat the room for being black.

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A vegan, cyclist and climate change enthusiast walk into a bar.

Everyone else leaves

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How many anti-vaxxers does it take to change a lightbulb?

none, they'll just sit there and talk about how it's gonna blind them and how there no proof that light bulbs provide light

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How many boomers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Boomers hate change. They'll just complain about how good things were before and how we should just go back to it.

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Hey, why are they called "Generation Z" anyway?

Because they'll be the last ones left if we do nothing about climate change.

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How many paranoids does it take to change a lightbulb?

Who wants to know?

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How many Hogwarts' students does it take to change a light bulb?

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If you're scared of needles, grow up

, and try Heroin, just once

you'll have a change of heart

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Beach Boys: If everybody had an ocean across the USA, then everybody'd be surfin like California.

Climate change scientist: You're missing the point, Boys.

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How many shitty obnoxious youtubers does it take to change a lightbulb?

You won't find out, at least in the next 10 minutes ald 5 seconds but who cares when there's such a SICK DEAL at dollar shave club? Now SUBSCRIBE AND SMASH THAT LIKE BUTTON!

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Repost

How many ninjas does it take to change a lightbu-

Oh it changed!

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Whenever I hear someone say that stories change slightly when re-told by different people

I wonder what exactly happened to Jesus Christ.

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Dont believe Bernie Sanders is a productive person?

He released his future plans to combat Climate Change yesterday and David Koch is already dead.

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How many blondes does it take to change the lightbulb?

None. They thought that their eyes were closed.

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How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb?

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

10. One to change it and nine to say how empowering it was

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How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb?

Must be more than nine because my basements still dark.

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How many dead hookers does it take to change the lightbulb in my basement?

...Well, it's not 5.

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How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two....one to turn the bulb and the other to hold the penis...LADDER!!!...I said ladder..

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My daughter identifies as a distinct period or stage in a series of events or a process of change or development...

Should I be worried or is it just a phase?

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You know what doesnt make sense?

Exact change

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What did the traffic light say to the car?

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I walked up to the cashier and said, "Can I change these four 5s for a 20 pound note?"

[deleted]

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The other day a homeless man asked me for some change so I got my wallet out and realised I only had a 20 note...

...I thought to myself, "Do I really want this money being spent on drugs?"

I decided I didn't so I gave him the money

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The other day a homeless man asked me for some change so I got my wallet out and realised I only had a 20 note... ...I thought to myself, "Do I really want this money being spent on drugs?"

I decided I didn't so I gave him the money

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The other day, a homeless man asked me for some change...

...so I took my wallet out and realised that I only had a $50 bill...

...I thought to myself, "Do I really want this money being spent on drugs?"

I decided that I didn't and I gave him the money.

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Give me the D

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The other day a homeless man asked me for some change...

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He other day a homeless man asked me for some change so I got my wallet out and realised I only had a 20 note... ...I thought to myself, "Do I really want this money being spent on drugs?"

I decided I didn't so I gave him the money

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The other day a homeless man asked me for some change ...

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How many Jehovah'a witnesses does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to change it, and two to go to your house and ask if you've seen the light.

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How many Alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

....To get to the other side!

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My tans daughter wants to get her sex change procedure, she wont do it though, shes too much of a puss

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb?

To get to the other side.

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"There are some horribly deceitful people in this world!" yelled a homeless man. I could only agree with him, so I put my hand into my pocket.

Then I emptied my brother's wallet and gave him some change.

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Did you hear? The Washington Redskins have to change their name

the term Washington is too offensive.

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How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

We don't know, we keep sending more and they haven't done anything about it.

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How many Musicians does it take to change the lightbulb?

1234

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Why did the cashier not switch job?

There was no room for change!

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How many dead babys does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on how good you are at stacking them.

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