Champion

Jokes

How did Lance Armstrong become a world champion cyclist?

He went on a few cycles.

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What's Blonde and dead in a closet?

The Hide and Seek Champion from 1995.

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The Hero reaches the champion and guard of the evil Emperor, and decides to say an epic line.

"My ancestors are smiling at me, Imperial. Can you say the same about you?"

To which the Imperial responds:

>!"No, I've never met your ancestors, why would they smile at me?"!<

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Why did the little clouds idolize the big cloud?

Because he was the raining champion.

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The world tongue twister champion died in a tragic motorway accident yesterday.

He was run over by a red lorry, then a yellow lorry, then a red lorry, then a yellow lorry..........

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Did you hear about that Jewish guy who beat the world chess champion?

He completely Ausch-witted him.

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A limbo champion walked into a bar.

He was disqualified.

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The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested.

I hear they’re gonna give him a really tough sentence.

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My dad is the reigning world champion at hide and seek.

After 12 years, I still haven't found him.

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LONG One day I found myself wandering around when I discovered I had wound up on an Indian reservation.

I observed everyone was partying, drinking, and dancing. After people realized I was there I was invited to speak to the chief. I asked what event they were celebrating, and he replied “We are having our annual festival to celebrate the crops we brought in during the growing season. We had just the right amount of rain so we are thanking our rain god with songs and the like. In fact, we are


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If Oscar Pistoriuss lower legs hadnt been amputated

he would have been an un-de-feeted champion

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Did you hear about the contents of the will of the pussy farting champion?

She bequeefed everything.

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Champion Nails is in trouble.....

Stan owns Champion nails the company. Sales are well down. One night he meets an old friend in the local pub. (Its a nice old pub, with a lovely barmaid with a beautiful rack, and hops and things hanging everywhere). Anyway, Stan is telling his old friend - Chester, how things are not going well and unless the building trade doesn’t pick up soon, Champion nails will go bust. Chester tells St


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Which Formula 1 champion died this week?

Lauda.

**I said, which Formula 1 champion driver died this week??**

LAUDA!

**FFS! WHICH FORMULA 1 DRIVER DIED THIS WEEK??!!**

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My friend just became the World Champion in competitive origami.

He’s great at folding under pressure.

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One day, a man with a white belt enters a Karate contest,

To everyone's surprise, he beats every other contestant, even the black belts, with his eyes closed! After his absolute win in the local contest, he quickly makes his way up to the national contests. During multiple interviews, he is asked what the secret behind his techique is, but all he ever answers is: "Water!" While flailing around. In record time, he beats every imaginable oth


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A world tongue twister champion just got arrested

I heard they are going to give him a tough sentence

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Right to remain silent

**The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested.**

**I hear they’re gonna give him a really tough sentence.**

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A horse walks into a bar

And thus ended his dream of becoming a champion showjumper.

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If killing yourself was an Olympic sport

I'd be the champion for one whole year in a row

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Just watched a documentary about the guy who, after a very hard upbringing, became the World Champion of Tag

It was really touching.

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Did you hear about the fencing champion who only had one move in his repertoire?

He was completely unoriginal and only knew how to riposte. I have no idea how jokers like him get silver and gold.

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Police have arrested the World tongue-twister Champion.

They said he'll be given a tough sentence.

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A Limbo champion walks into a bar

He is immediately disqualified.

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Whos the world hide and seek champion, reigning for 15 years?

Madeleine McCann

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A limbo champion walks into a bar...

...he's disqualified.

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A limbo champion walked into a bar.

He was disqualified.

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A new record from the world elbow-biting champion:

He pissed on his own dick.

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Did you know that there's a wrestling champion for spices and herbs?

It is called sumac down.

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Released after 5 years for sheep rustling

Welsh tongue twister champion from
LlanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogOGOgoch .............said "It was a tuff sentence"

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Peking Duck!

..is what I yelled to the guy who had been crowned pissing champion when I saw a Rob throwing a rock at his head.

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Peking Duck!

..is what I yelled to the guy who had been crowned pissing champion when I saw a Rob throwing a rock at his head.

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I'll tell you how I became the world champion of hide and seek

But be prepared to cry. It's very touching.

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Master, why is it that when a man has sex with many women he is considered a champion, but when a woman has sex with many men she is considered a whore?

Listen well, my child… “A key that has the ability to open many locks is a master key”. “A lock that can be open with any key, is useless”.

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The number 5 was a champion at boxing. He lost when he turned into a 6.

The reason he started losing was because he wasn't in his prime.

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Dad, I believe you prefer my brother more than me

Dad: That's nonsense, I make no difference between you and my champion...

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I am a selftrained, 4 time world champion in chess.

Self proclaimed as well

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Why was the boxing champion asexual

Because nobody f**ks with him

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Police have arrested the World tongue-twister Champion.

I imagine he'll be given a tough sentence.

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I have friends, a couple. He is a boxer, and she is a champion in karate. And they never quarrel.

A little bit afraid of each other.

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Trump is truly a champion of human rights

...as opposed to those pesky human lefts who won't fund his wall

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Meta Why did the aging fencing champion subscribe to rjokes?

He heard their ripostes never grow old.

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Apparently Mao Zedong was a champion long jumper

Everyone else was starving

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A basketball champion in Paralympic walks into a bar

Wait a minute...

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A limbo champion walks into a bar..

he is disqualified.

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What do an Australian restaurant patron and a chess champion have in common?

When they're done they both ask for a check mate.

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A limbo champion walks into a bar

And gets instantly disqualified

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What do you call a dead blonde in a closet?

The 1997 Hide n Seek champion.

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How does it feel to be the world anagram champion?

“This is shit.”

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A limbo champion walks into a bar

They are disqualified

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