Casual

Jokes

Why did John enter his work meeting with a pan, chicken and a bag of vegetables?

He thought it was casual fry day.

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I casually invited my step son to his birth mom's birthday dinner.

20 messages later we are talking abandonment issues.

Well the 1st message was casual.

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In the future, dating robots will be casual

Relationships will all be on again, off again

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An exhausted police officer walks into a bar

"Rough day?" the bartender asks.

"You have no idea. We had another mass shooting ... this time down at Gap in the strip mall," the police officer says. "There were casual Ts everywhere."

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I was hosting a gathering for my blonde girlfriend's birthday. I told her it was casual and when everyone arrived she appeared with her outfit around her ankles.

Everyone gasped.

"Blame my boyfriend," she explained, "He said dress down!"

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Did you know that drinking tea while being too relaxed can kill you?

It's called a casual tea.

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Casual sex Vs Sex with feelings involved

Post to r/money:

>u/_cg88
>I'll start saying I have nothing against casual sex. I've done it. Everything was good for it, and I've made bank doing it.
>
>The thing is, I developed this conviction that sex is way more productive with feelings involved. When the other person feels comfortable with your presence and is real


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David Hasselhoff walks into a bar

The bartender saw him and exclaimed “omg! Its you david hasselhoff!”

David Hasselhoff wanting to sound casual replied “hey buddy, you can call me hoff!”

Bartender “ no hassel”

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Black people have an N-word, but white people have an F-word.

Fella is casual, Fellow is for when you want to be old fashioned, and Feller if you're from the South.

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The Advice

In the province of Punjab, lived Joe- the most desirable man in the entire world. The prettiest women all around the world desired to have him, and Joe, who co-incidentally happened to be a big fan of The Office, was aware of the effect he had on women.
Joe was very clear that he wouldn’t let this blessing go waste and decided to have as much fun as he could have. And thus, he quickly


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Casual dad son conversation

Son: dad,i want to fuck your mother
Dad:why would you do that?!
Son:you fucked my mother so I'm going to fuck yours too

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A casual sperms meeting

Some sperms are gathered together and discuss their future plans with each other.

Sperm 1 : I’m gonna be a doctor

Sperm 2 : I’m gonna be an Engineer

Sperm 3 : I’m gonna be a pilot

Sperm 4 : F**k all of you I’m gonna be a dad

Meanwhile a sperm comes running in breathing heavily and says: motherf**krs run for


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What comes from unprotected casual hook-ups?

Netflix & chilldren

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The Advice

Jack was most handsome man in the world, blessed with having whichever woman he desired faced a peculiar problem. He had outgrown the casual relationship phase.
In the beginning, shortly after he realized the true potential of the gift he possessed, he assumed he could keep doing this forever. “I’m a lucky bastard”, he muttered to himself. But by the fifth relationship, he


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Casual mom amp son convo

Kid: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: See that man without arms over there?
Mom: Tell him to clap.
Kid: But mom, i'm blind.
Mom: Exactly!

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Studies show that around 35 of people are casual racists

That means the other 65 % are professionals.

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They say love is blind...

But casual sex has 20/20 vision.

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The police are investigating the recent shootout at a fancy downtown restaurant.

There are no reports of casual tees.

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What do soldiers wear on weekends?

Casual t-shirts

Say it aloud if you don't get it

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A man and a woman were sitting next to each other in bar.

They were having a casual conversation when she suddenly leaned over and asked him, "You smell amazing, what do you have on?"

The man smiled an impish grin and replied, "I have a hard-on but I didn't know you could smell it!"

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A casual conversation between a British and an American

American: What's up, dude?
British: We hardly ever call someone 'dude'.
American: But what about The Beatles song "Hey Dude"?

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Why is the army so strict about their uniforms?



To minimize casual tees...

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We had a 80 discounton clothes last night, and all the people were rushing to the store to buy some.

There were lots of casual Ts last night.

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Why don't murderers often attend tea parties?

They prefer a casual tea.

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What do Doctors do to unwind?

They go for casual tea.

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How does a wizard have casual sex?

They hit it and quidditch

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I have to put on a tux and top hat before telling my wife a joke

She hates casual racism

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A group wearing tuxedos were sat down in a coffee shop, when a car suddenly smashed through the shop front.

Thankfully there were no casual teas

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What do you call butt sex that is casual?

Shooting the shit.

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There was an attack on a commoner's tea shop yesterday.

There were 24 casual teas.

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A man walked into a thrift shop and couldn't bear to look

There were too many casual tees

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An explosion happened at a clothes store.

There were many casual tees.

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I've been enjoying a lot of casual phone sex...

I hope i don't end up with hearing aids.

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What's the difference between a woman having sex 300 times with her first and a woman that has 300 casual partners?

A father

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Australians are casual racists...

Full time racism is too hard

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The only two rules for men when dating 1. Be relaxed, casual and personal

2. Do not use the word "period"

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Whats the difference between a shirt and a corpse?

One’s a casualty and the other is a casual tee

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People often talk about casual racism. As a black man, I was discussing this with someone a few years ago. I mean, what is casual racism? A Teflon-clad Indian in jeans? A white supremacist who believes it's his God-given right to be as demeaning as he wants?

[deleted]

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Do you know the difference between casual conversation and sex?

No? Well do you wanna go back to my place and talk?


-Joe Mafia II

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You dont usually see casual rabbis

but I did see one the other day. He was in the menorah tee.

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After my wife died of a heart attack, I didn't want to settle down again right away. I wanted to have some fun first, so I went online to find a young girl with big tits that I could have casual sex with. Needless to say, my in laws weren't impressed...

They thought I should have called an ambulance first...

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Did you hear about the explosion in a garment factory

Apparently there were over a hundred casual tees

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What's the only item of clothing banned from Casual Friday at the White House?

Wife-beaters.

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Do you know what a casual youtube blogger and a primary school teacher have in common?

suicidal thoughts

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Why is the military so strict about their uniforms?



To minimize casual tees...

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Casual conversation between Obama and Trump

Trump: What's your pant's brand?

Obama: Guess.

Trump: Wrangler? Levi?

Trump: Diesel?

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There was a mass shooting at the Gap store this afternoon.

They're still counting the casual Tees.

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Apparently there was a mass shooting at the Gap.

There were a lot of casual tees.

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Why Were the Police called to the GAP?

.....they heard there were a couple of Casual-Tees

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Someone blew up a department store because they didn't stock basic clothing...

There were no casual tees.

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