Castrated

Jokes

To put an end to the endless accusations, the Catholic Church has proposed that all priests shall be castrated.

If you ask me, they don't have the balls to pull that through.

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In my home country of Afnagistan

I worked once as a castrator. A Nutcracker is what they called me. I once had a client who didn't want to be castrated so he tried running, luckily for us had a boomerang so it was no problem. Then I moved to Alabama, incest was commonplace. Cousins would always bring each other to get castrated, sometimes conscious, sometimes not. Anyway when the FBI found me I emigrated to China, there I le


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What do you call a castrated man's penis?

A eunuch horn

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Two dogs, a Doberman and a German Shepherd, are in the vet's waiting room, and the German Shepherd says to the other "What are you in for?"

"Oh," says the Doberman, "I went for the postman. He said I ought to be put down, but my owner pleaded with him until he said that if she got me castrated instead then he wouldn't take it any further. So that's what I'm in for. How about you?"

"Oh," says the German Shepherd, "my owner was cleaning the kitchen floor in her bathrobe, a


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What do you call a one wheeled cycle for castrated men?

A eunuchcycle

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How did the audience join in when the castrated sailor started to sing?

"... My Bonnie is over the C."

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It do be like dis

When I took my dog to be castrated, no one told me we won't be able to play balls anymore

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What do you call a castrated dog?

“An og…”

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What did the Apple say after being castrated?

Now I'm unix!

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Two very nervous men got to talking in the doctor's waiting room.

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They discovered they had similar symptoms: one had a red ring around the base of his penis and the other one had a green ring. The fellow with the red ring was examined first. In a few minutes he came out, all smiles, and said, "Don't worry, man, it's nothing."

Vastly relived, the second man went into the examining room, only to b


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I got my dog castrated

I got my dog castrated yesterday, it was really expensive and they did a horrible job with it.

It was just a rip-off.

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"Doc..." says Steve. "I want to be castrated." "What on earth for!?" asks the doctor in amazement.



"It's something I've been thinking about for a long time and I want to have it done." replies Steve.

"But have you thought it through properly?" asks the doctor. "It's a very serious operation and once it's done, there's no going back. It will change your life forever!"

"I'm aware of that and y


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Im castrated and my Queen sent me to buy a trumpet specifically for men like me. Only problem is...

...eunuch horns don’t exist.

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Which well-known scientist was half-castrated?

Ein-stein.

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Castration

A man comes into the Dr. office and says he needs to have a procedure done. The Dr. asks, what procedure, the man replies "Umm, castration, I need to be castrated or my girlfriend won't marry me!" Puzzled the Dr. asks, "Castrated, do you know what that means?" The man quickly replies, yes I know what it means, just do it. So the Dr. sets up the procedure and does it. W


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Inspirationality

i got an abortion when i was 1

shot in the brain at age 4

got raped by my uncle at age 7

got castrated at age 10

got pregnant at age 12

got cancer at age 14

stepped on a lego at age 15

and here i am with my college diploma

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I met someone who said they've castrated hundreds of animals and kept them all as souvenirs...

...I replied, "What a load of bollocks!"

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What do you call a large castrated man?

An absolute eunuch

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I was castrated yesterday :( but it's ok, I hear there's a good chance they'll grow back when I'm in my forties.

Apparently 85% of marriages don't last until then.

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Guy walks into a doctors office...


“Doc, I’ve made up my mind, thought it over. I want to be castrated!”

Doctor stares at him in disbelief,

“Are you sure? That is no....”

The guy interrupts,

“Doc, I’m 100% sure! Let’s do it today!

Later, after the procedure, the guy walks out of the hospital with a limp. In the ha


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A vegan, an atheist, and a Chinese girl asked me what I thought the English and Hitler have in common?

The morgue needed someone to identify the exact weapon used to kill indians, jack daniels still does. The next day, they castrated 16 sheep, and the next morning, completely hung over, he notices that there's something wrong with her.

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What did the vet say to the dog he just castrated?

No hard feelings.

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Dog joke

A man was walking his dog to the vets office to get his dog castrated. As they were waking, the dog notices an old man walking across the street. The dog slips his leash and attacks the old man. The owner quickly pulls the dog off the old man and profusely apologizes.

"What is wrong with that dog" the old man asks

"The dog has a hormone imbalance that'


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3 rapists are to be castrated.

3 rapists are to be castrated based on their jobs. They are lined up and the first has his penis removed with scissors because he is a tailor. While they do this the third laughs. The second is a carpenter and is castrated with a saw. After the third laughs again they ask him why. His sells ice cream.


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What do you call a castrated male chicken that runs an illegal moonshine business?

Al Capon

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Cheating husband

-I think my husband is cheating on me due to my worsening eyesight.

-You know that an operation could solve your problem, right?

-Yes,but I don't think he would like to get castrated...

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A man tells his urologist he wants to be castrated...

A man tells his urologist he wants to be castrated. The urologist says "That's a pretty big thing. Maybe you should think about it."

"I have thought about it, for a long time, and it's what I want," says the man.

"All right," says the doctor. "I'll do the surgery myself."

The surgery goes well, and the do


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Did you hear about the man with really small testicles who decided to be castrated?

He heard that micro soft isn't as good as eunuchs.

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Castrated

"Doc," says Steve, "I want to be castrated."

"What on earth for?" asks the doctor in amazement.

"It's something I've been thinking about for a long time and I want to have it done" replies Steve.

"But have you thought it through properly?" asks the doctor, "It's a very serious operation and


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What do you call a castrated man's penis?

A Eunuch-horn.

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What do you call a castrated unicorn?

A eunuch-orn

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An old man...

An old man, living alone in a hut in the mountains walked down to the village one day. He went to the doctor.
- I want to be castrated
- No? Surely you don't want to do that?
- Yes, I do! Please castrate me!
And so they did.
When he later walked back up to his hut he met another man, also living alone in a hut in the mountains. The other man said:


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What is a castrated male's favorite operating system?

Unix.

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Coyote Problem

The Sierra Club and the U.S. Forest Service were presenting an alternative to Wyoming ranchers for controlling the coyote population.

It seems that after years of the ranchers using the tried and true methods of shooting and/or trapping the predators, the tree-huggers had a "more humane" solution.

What they proposed was for the animals to be captured alive; th


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Did you hear about the castrated hipster?

He had a very eunuch style.

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A really bad, terrible mistake

Fred goes to a doctor and says, "Doc, I want to be castrated. " Doc says, "Look, I don't know what kind of cult you're into or what your motives are, but I'm not going to do that sort of operation. " Fred: "Doc, I just want to be castrated, and I'm a littlee mbarrassed about talking about it, but I have $5,000 cash right here. Will you do it? " Doc


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