Cast

Jokes

If the Ku Klux Klan leaders are wizards, why don't they cast a spell to kill all those that oppose them?

Because they don't have access to black magic.

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Why do we tell actors to break a leg?

Because every play needs a cast

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The Amazon fire isn't that bad.

Sure it's not as good as a Chrome Cast but I still manage to watch Netflix on it.

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Family reunion with Dad and stepmom

Dear Mom,


We are having a great time here at Camp Hazardous Hills. Grandpa is making me write to you in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only 1 of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away.


Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Cousin Brian when it happened. Oh yes, please call Brian&


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Why do we tell actors to 'break a leg"

Because every play has a CAST

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I'm gonna cast an evil spell

E-V-I-L

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Why are mixed-race wizards ineffective?

They can only half-cast.

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Hugh Jackman is the perfect person cast as Wolverine.

He is huge, jacked, and a man.

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What will happen if they decide to cast out Tom Cruise off of Mission Impossible?

the movie will be Impossible.

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Why do we tell actors to break a leg?...

...Because every play has a cast

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Why do we tell actors to break a leg?

Because every play has a cast

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What do you call a movie with an all-female cast?

Period movies.

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Why do we tell actors to break a leg?

Because every play has a cast.

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Why do we tell actors to break a leg?

Because every play has a cast

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11, 12, 13, 14, and 15 get into a fight and 13 gets murdered.

The police arrive and start the murder investigation. But almost immediately, they release 12, 14, and 15. Everyone is surprised at how quickly and efficiently the police conducted the investigation. A press conference was held and the police were asked how they cracked the case.
The Chief Investigator had only this to say. "It was really an open and shut cast. 11 was the only prime


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Did you hear that the guy who sang "Paralyzer" got banned from meeting the Stranger Things cast?

Apparently he wanted to Finger Eleven.

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The first wizard who cast dickspelliarmus...

Had to live with the Ken Doll-quences.

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Why do we tell actors to break a leg?

Because every play has a cast

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Why do actors say break a leg before a show?

Because it has to be supported by a strong cast.

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Son:Mommy tell me something that would make me both happy and sad at the same time

Mom:The whole Avengers cast is coming to visit you next week

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Did you here they're rebooting Family Matters?

It's called "All Families Matter" with a white family as the cast.

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What happens when the cast of a certain HBO series gets into heated debates and elevating their voices at one another?

Game of Tones

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Why do we tell actors to break a leg?

Because every play has a cast

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Let he who is without sin cast the first stone

That was basically Jesus calling dibs

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It took a lot of balls for my friend to join the cast of a new Reality TV show called Embarrassing Bodies.

Four, to be exact.

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The easiest time to add insult to injury

Is when you’re signing somebody’s cast.

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Donald Trump should be cast in an X-Men movie

Seems his secret superpower is making vast amount of wealth disappear

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Why do you say "break a leg" to an actor ?

Cause without a good cast they are fucked

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A man walks up to his pharmacist,

And say's "I think there's been a mix up, I was supposed to get viagra, but you gave me pain killers."
A man in a cast then calls out from the line " Oh you think you got it hard? Those were my painkillers"

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A guy is stranded on an island with only a Doberman and a pig for company.

There's plenty of food and water, and the weather is beautiful, so he's doing alright, but after a few months he gets lonely.
The pig starts to look more and more attractive, soft, pink flesh, round buttocks.
But every time this poor guy makes an advance towards the pig, the Doberman snarls at him and once almost bit his leg.
Very frustrating.
One day the


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Ever hear of the movie Broken Bone?

It has an amazing supporting cast.

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A company releases a horror movie with an all black cast.

It's over in ten minutes.

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What did Eve say before eating of the forbidden fruit?

"Let he who is without stones cast the first sin."

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Avengers cast

Interviewer: are you a human

Avengers endgame cast: I am not sure if I am aloud to tell you that

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I directed a movie about my broken leg.

It had a stellar supporting cast.

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A Priest, A Minister, A Rabbi, and A Bear

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who is best at his job. So each one goes into the woods to find a bear and try to convert it.

Later, they all get together. The priest begins: "When I found the bear, I read to him from the catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his first Communion."

The minister says: "I found a bear by the s


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A man shows up for work with his arm in a cast.

“What happened to you?” his assistant asks.

“I broke my arm in two places yesterday.”

“Man, that sucks,” says his assistant. “It would probably be a good idea to avoid those two places from now on.”

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Why does the cast of the Avengers not know the full script of the movie yet?

The writers are trying to keep things Loki.

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The Fast amp The Furious 9 to be released in April 2019

To keep in line with the aging cast members, the title of the film "The Brisk & The Concerned" has been chosen as the working title.

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What beer do the cast of Toy Story drink?

Buzz Light.

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The die is cast

Hitler took a stroll in one of the concentration camps and he saw some Jews playing around with dice.
He came up to them saying : "if you roll a number from 1 to 5 you will die!
Jews : "And what if we roll a 6?"
Hitler smiled : "You get to roll the die again"

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What the true meaning of "break a leg" on the auditions

They hope you make the cast

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Why do we tell actors to break a leg?

Because every play has a cast.

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A boy goes into the doctors office with a bad cough and a case of the sniffles, after the checkup the doctor comes back into the room yielding some good news and bad news..

Doctor: The bad news is, your sick child.

To which the boy replied, aw shucks! I knew it! But what’s the good news doc?

Doctor: The good news is, the full cast of the avengers is here to cheer you up!

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If the Klu Klux Klan leaders are wizards, why don't they cast a spell to kill all those that oppose them?

Because they don't have access to black magic.

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If the cast of Wizard of OZ was based on bank related numbers and terminology, what would Dorothy shout to her Aunt when the twister hit their home?

“ATM! ATM! It’s a twister, ATM!”

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I've thought my Roommate was insane for a while now

He moved in with a didgeridoo, a spider plant, and so much weed. Then the hippy turns out to be a a good cook and nice guy. But he always did weird things, and the man didn't have Netflix on his phone despite having an account. Seems like a bit of an odd ball but nothing insane, right?

HERES WHERE I GOT STRAIGHT FUCKED. He's struggling to get my Google home to play some shit


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It wasnt much fun breaking my neck and being in a cast..

But now I can look back and laugh.

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Why do we tell actors to break a leg

Because every play has a cast.

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What did the cast and crew of the movie "Schindler's list" call Steven Spielberg?

"Herr Direktor"

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