Care

Jokes

Three bulls walk in a field

Three bulls heard the rancher was bringing another bull onto the ranch.


First Bull: "I've been here five years. I'm not giving this new bull any of my 100 cows."


Second Bull: "I've been here three years and have earned my right to 50 cows. I'm keeping all my cows."


Third Bull: "I've


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If you asked me how I felt about these islands...

I'd say I don't care atoll

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Research has shown that women don't care at all about size.

Just as long as you don't give them the real reason as to why you're flaccid.

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If women don't care how big a man is...

Why do they offended because I'm flaccid?

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A drill sergeant asks a private what his name is

The private responds “I.P. Rainwater sir.” The drill sergeant replies, “I don’t care if you shit snowballs, what’s your name private!”

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What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I don't know and I don't care.

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Which is worse? Ignorance or apathy?

Ya know, on second thought, I don't know and I don't care.

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A man had died

He found himself standing before the Pearly Gates. He knocked and a friendly-looking old man wit a white beard opened the door and introduced himself as Saint Peter.

"Come in!" st. Peter said.

"Do you mean I get to go to heaven?"

"Yeah, sure" st. Peter Said "Come in. I'll give you a tour of the place"


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I went to the pet shop to buy a goldfish the other day...

The shop owner asked me if I wanted an aquarium, I told him I didn't care what star sign it was.

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Old couple getting frisky

Husband says to wife 'Martha, tomorrow will be our 60th wedding anniversary and my 82nd birthday. We haven't had sex since last year! I need some loving, sugar.'

Martha responds, with a sigh 'Well okay, but no thumb up the butt this time.'

Don frustratingly replies 'Dammit! it's my thumb and my ass, so why do you care!'


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Fire person of Latin heritage

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How do you get Trump to care about the Amazon fires?

Add Jeff Bezos after the words "Amazon fires"

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Case of a dead jackass

An Irish priest was transferred to Texas.

Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new west Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside.

He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station.


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A man gets home from work and shouts to his wife:

" It's the third fucking time that I get home and dinner isn't ready, we are going to have a seriously conversation!"

The woman, revolted: " fuck this! I shower the kids, I dress them up, I take care of them, I drive them to school, I don't even have time to wipe my own ass!"

Him: " that's another thing we have to talk about&qu


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What do a pulse and an orgasm have in common?

I don't care if she has either.

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A man comes home and says to his wife "Pack your bags I've won the lottery!". She says "Wow where are we going?"

He replies "I dont care where you go, I just want you out"

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My wife came home a long flight and said that Delta took excellent care of her

Later I found out his name was Delta Ding-A-Ling

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What's the difference between a Samsung and the Amazon rainforest?

I care when my Samsung is on fire

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When it started raining my girlfriend couldnt help starring intently through the window.

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Not A Joke Post, Just Something That Needs To Be Known

This isn't supposed to be what's normally on here, but I've seen other posts like this so I thought I should to for anyone who doesn't know. The Amazon Rainforest is on fire and the media doesn't seem to care much

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Son "Dad, which do you think is America's worst problem: ignorance or apathy?"

Dad; "Don't know. Don't really care, either."

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A couple of elders pass away together.

They meet in Paradise. They have a nice three rooms suite in a beautiful hotel with a cute view on the lake.

She has miles and miles of shops with women stuff and befriends a few fine ladies to hang out with.

He goes to a pub, meets nice men to play card with. Beer is fresh and a couple of whiskey shots are even better. He smokes good cigars and none seem to care if ash g


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A man won the lottery

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A man gets out of work and rushes to the hospital to greet his wife who has had their baby.

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What's the difference between ignorance and indifference?

I don't know and I don't care.

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Whats the difference between Canada and USA?

About a decade in life expectancy, healthcare free at the point of care, no school shootings or terrorist attacks

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Have you ever wondered why Americans spell it, "Color" or "Neighbor" and Canadians spell it, "Colour" and "Neighbour"?

It's because America doesn't care about you

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I believe in homeapathy

Meaning I don't think we should care whether someone is gay or not

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Whats the difference between ignorance and apathy?

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A man comes into a hotelbar....

...and says:
"Oh god, i am so horny. Are there any hookers here?"
"No" answers the host, "there is only John. And it costs 80 bucks"
"80$? And there is only John? Well, i am so horny, I don't mind giving John 80$ for it"
"No, sir. 40$ will go to the mayor. It is his town and he doesn't like that stuff"


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Officer stops a car for speeding and notices that driver is not wearing the required prescription glasses.

>!Officer says: "I have to give you a ticket for not wearing your glasses."!<

>!Driver says: "But Officer, I have contacts."!<

>!Officer replies: "I don't care who you know, you're still getting a ticket."!<

​

Edit: Yes, my username checks out, but th


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My teacher told me im dumb and ignorant...

i dont know why and i dont care

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What's the difference between ignorance and empathy?

I don't know and I don't care

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Why don't Flat Earthers care if they're having a bad day?

They're always on top of the world

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Santa wants to learn the subject Logic

he goes to his friend Banta, and says, this 'Logic' is really difficult for me to understand. Could you please help teach it to me.

Banta: well its really simple. let me give you an example. Do you have an aquarium in your house?

Santa: Yes

Banta: logically there must be fishes in it.

S: Yes

B: I believe someone has to take


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Whats worse: ignorance or apathy?

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Fatherly Advice

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What does an idiot say to a blind person who doesn't take care of himself?

"Look at yourself!"

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A single woman goes into a coma during childbirth.

After three months, the woman wakes up. She finds the doctor and asks him what happened to her children.

"You had twins, a boy and a girl. Their uncle is taking care of them," says the doctor.

"My brother?" asks the woman. "He's a moron!"

"He even named the kids for you," says the doctor. "He named your daught


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What does an idiot say to a blind person that doesn't take care of himself?

"Look at yourself!"

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What does an idiot tell a deaf person that doesn't take care of himself?

"Look at yourself!"

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Me: "Take care of your oral hygiene, Dad. Buying new teeth is really expensive."

Dad: "False."

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I completely agree with Brexit, I don't care what you guys say,

Europe Union doesn't matter

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Opinions are like orgasms...

I don’t care if you have one.

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People say I lack the commitment to finish anything, and they might be right.

Because right now, I just don't care enough to

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I don't care if what I'm about to say isn't "political correct", but...

Gay guys are fucking assholes!

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Take care while walking on uneven pavements.

For more information- see trip advisor.

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What does a pulse and an orgasm have in common?

I don’t care if she has one.

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Why do some women still fake orgasms?

Because they think men care.

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How to solve a fat acceptance debate?

Just wait, diabetes and heart problems will eventually take care of it

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