A man is walking along the beach when...
...he trips over an antique lamp. A genie pours out, ominous and towering. "Thank you, kind soul," the genie says, "I have been trapped in that lamp for so long. You're a gentleman and a scholar for freeing me."
"I'm no such thing," says the man, "I'm a simple man with simple needs."
"Well, whatever they are,&quo