Burden

Jokes

What do you call a pigeon that always steals your food ?

A burden.

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Dude, your girl left with another man.

Good.

What?

She's an emo suicidal mess. Now she'll try to hand him the death knife. She was a burden.

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A kilogram of feathers is heavier than a kilogram of steel

Because you have to carry the burden of copying an overused joke and pretend you came up with it

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Therapist: It seems like you place the burden of all your failures on others, refusing to take responsibility due to learned helplessness, despite most of your problems being solvable.

Client: Yeah, I get that from my mother.

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What do you call a house filled with birds

A burden

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A recent accident has left me wheelchair bound. I'm a burden to my family and my morning bathroom routine is torture...

I can't stand to look at myself.

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They say if you give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish...

... then he has to get a fishing license. But he doesn't have any money, so he has to get a job and enter the social security system. And he has to file taxes, and you're gonna audit the poor son of a bitch because he's not really good at math. You pull the IRS van up to his house and take everything. You take his toothbrush and it all goes up for auction with the burden of proof on


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My wife complains about my gambling.

I’ve only got 2 and 7 so I guess soon that hag will be someone else’s burden.

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I asked my couch-potato wife to go to the gym to do some lifting with me

She philosophically retort: "Why should I? The burden of life is already too heavy."

Me: "Indeed you are."

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No Spoilers Here

So we have this village and there is a bunch of lazy people in the village who are willing to do almost nothing. One day, a guy loads them up in a truck and takes them to be killed in the mountains, because they are too much of a burden to everyone. So when he's driving a landowner runs in front of the truck and tells him to stop. "Have pity, man! They are people! I will take care of the


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How many feminist does it take to change a bulb?

1 but she will complain about how women are given more burden of work without equal wages.

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Post Malone Has Started His Own Student Loan Service in an Attempt to Lift the Burden Off of New Graduates

It's called "Post Malone's Post Pone Ma Loans"

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Post Malone Has Started His Own Student Loan Service in an Attempt to Lift the Burden Off of New Graduates

It's called " Post Malone's Post Pone Ma Loans"

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Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.

Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.

Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.

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TIL there are a number of churches which are trying to get into space to lose their earthly burden of weight and become closer to God.

They're zero-G sects.

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Fellowship of the ring

As the fellowship of the ring was being formed Bilbo had been eavisdropping outside of the meeting, not being able to help his curiosity.
He had heard young Frodo take upon himself the burden of the ring, Sam, Merry and Pippin joining him on the foolish quest. Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas and Boromir adding to the fellowship with his long time friend Gandalf.
Bilbo couldn't feel but gu


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Whats heavier 10 lbs of bricks or 10 pounds of feathers

The 10 pounds of feathers is heavier. Because you have to carry the burden of what you did to those poor birds.
You monster!

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My dad once told me "if you can do something good for people, you are obligated to do it

Rudyard Kipling called it 'The White Man's Burden'"

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Why aren't there any white jokes on rJokes?

"Because jokes are the white man's burden."

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Art of Living

Husband comes home from ART OF LIVING session
He greets his wife and lifts her and carries her around the house with a smile

Wife is so surprised and she asked:
Did guruji preach something about being romantic today?

Husband said:
No guruji told us that
"we must carry our burden and sorrow with smile"


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We've all seen Hafthr Bjrnsson lift that log.

But the true question is, can he lift the white man's burden?

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A man with a wooden eye

This story is about a gentlemen who through an rather unfortunate set of events, now has a wooden eye.

He is, understandably, rather self conscious about his eye. He has suffered years of odd looks and comments, and has become somewhat of a hermit. One evening, he thinks to himself "Enough is enough! I'm going to go out tonight and have some fun, damn anyone who thinks ill


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What do you call a burden of a bookstore

A liabilitirary

*say it out loud*

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Normal Wife

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.

After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.
He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die."

"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch m


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A man loads burden onto his donkey and says...

Eukaryote.

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