Buffet

Jokes

Chris Christie's autobiography is titled 'Let me finish'

That wasnt the original title he'd planned, he was just at the buffet when the publishers called.

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What do you call a Chinese all -you- can -eat buffet?

A dog shelter

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A friend told me that Golden Corral now has a catering service.

Apparently they buffet you with the food.

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This one was from my teacher (Dont judge me)

"I went to a buffet party and I was dressed as a tennis ball costume.
We went to the lines to have food.
I was the first to get served."

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Buy a soft drink and get a free buffet

...of peanuts from Five Guys and stop begging me for money you bums.

-The vegans approve of this message.-

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A Caucasian man sees a Middle Eastern looking fellow at a buffet

The caucasian man asks "Aren't Muslims supposed to fast during Ramadan?"

"Sir, I'm Sikh", replies the fellow.

"Oh, then get well soon", says the Caucasian man.

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I am sitting next to a buffet.

Bunch of Ugly Fat Fuckers Eating Together

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What was in the buffet at the solipsist conference?

One sandwich.

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The CEO of Berkshire Hathaway should open a diner.

And call it Warren's Buffet.

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What does a Hawaiian Muslim who own a buffet say?



Aloha Snackbar

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Why did the chicken return to the buffet?

To get to the other sides

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Why did the group of cannibals meet at the suicide forest?

They heard about the free all-you-can-eat buffet.

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Chris christie's new book is called 'Let me finish'

That wasnt actually what he had in mind, his publisher called him for suggestions when he was at the buffet table.

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The crappiest buffet I have ever gone to was at the senior center.

It was the last time I try out the incontinental breakfast.

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Perpetuate


How does a Vietnamese restaurant charge its customers in a buffet?

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I changed therapists after my last one hosted a buffet party.

He came up to me and said, "Help yourself."

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The other day I was mistakenly put in a Fortnite server filled with low level players...

I gotta tell ya, it was like an all you can YEET buffet!

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I don't serve black people in my restaurant.

We have a buffet.

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A prisoner was on death row...

When the guard asked him what his final meal was, he said “an all you can eat buffet please”.

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You can get All-You-Can-Eat Parrotfish

At the Jimmy Buffet

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Buffet should be called...

Buffat

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My doctor asked me if I exercise regularly, I told him Yeah, whenever I go to the buffet

It burns a lot of calories carrying 10 plates at once.

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Where is the cannibals favorite buffet ?

The local orphanage

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So like, a scientist wanted to go to a buffet restaurant but they were closed for the day.

So he got into his time machine and went back two hours.
And after he ate a plate of spaghetti he was still hungry.
So he went back four seconds.

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My favorite Indian buffet ran out of bread.

They said it was a naan issue.

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An Asian buffet manager started looking for new staff...

Her name was Hai-Ling Nao.

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Why did the cannibal get kicked out of the buffet?

Because he misunderstood the "Eat all you can" promo.

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What do you call a Star Wars themed all you can eat restaurant?

Bo-buffet

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If I had a dollar for every person complaining about reposts in this sub

Warren Buffet would look up to me

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A little thing about some juice.

Me and two friends were at a buffet, and we each called out some of the fruit juices that were there. Then I called out 'juice' juice just for kicks.

A young kid happened to overhear our conversation, walked up to us and said, "They don't serve juice juice."

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Why did Jabba the Hutt invite a twi'lek to his fish buffet?

He needed a Bib Fortuna.

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Invited my anorexic friend to an all-you-can-eat buffet.

She had the ribs.

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The easiest way to mug people is when they step out from an Indian buffet lunch.

They are guaranteed to never chase you and it will be completely naan violent.

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A group of sheep walk into a buffet.

The waiter approaches the group and says, "the ladies can eat, but the men will only be able to order drinks".

"Baaa... care to explain yourself?" asks one of the rams

"I'm sorry Sir, but as the sign stated on the door, this is an all ewe can eat buffet".

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What does Xxxtentacion fans call a $100k donation to a charity

A ticket to an all you can beat buffet

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(OC) What is the difference between a Vegas Buffet, and a cheap Hooker?

The buffet is the only place a casino recommends the all you can eat crabs

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Who said fat people don't like exercising?

That is totally false because fat people love walking to the buffet table.

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Having an orgy and buffet combo was a bad idea

I'm so stuffed

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A man dies and goes to hell.

When he arrives, he sees Satan approaching him and is terrified for what torments await him.

"Welcome, dude! Don't be so afraid. You're gonna love this place," says Satan with a beaming smile.

"I am?" the man asks nervously.

"Sure you will! All that talk of this place being awful is a lie. You like to drink?"


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What did the Hawaiian wearing a hijab say as he approached the buffet?

Aloha snack-bar

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Did you hear about the buffet run by mathematicians?

They have a never ending pi special.

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The waiter told me that their restaurant had an all-you-can-eat buffet.

I couldn't ask for more.

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Why was the cannibal at the vegan buffet?

Because he was a fun guy!

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A Girl and a Stoner Were Going on a Blind Date

The stoner suggested they meet at a buffet, and told her he will be the guy walking around with orange juice.

When he got there, they were out of orange juice so he got lemonade instead.

The girl came in and she was ugly, so the stoner kept his mouth shut.

She saw that he was the only one walking around with a drink so she came up to him and asked if he was


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What does the sign next to the squirrel buffet say?

Go nuts.

Well... time to let my post be buried among the other jokes and be forgotten, only to have someone else find my buried nuts and repost it.

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Why did the cannibal go to the buffet?

To eat more than the average person!

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Dracula was taking a brisk evening stroll when out of nowhere he gets pelted with sandwiches cut into triangles,chicken wings and little sausages on a stick.

As he wipes himself down he utters to himself,"Damn. That must have been Buffet the Vampire Slayer."

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Why everybody loves the Indian buffet so much?

Because they're all or naan!

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Definition of a Buffet.

Big ugly fat fuckers eating together, ba dum tssss

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I went to a dinner party for anorexics.

There was an all-you-can't-eat buffet.

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