What did Julius Caesar ask when finding a color to paint the Senate?
I treat my girlfriend like I treat my math problems...
Why Caesar cipher is a good name for this code?
Because it can be hacked with Brute force
I turned around to see that my best friend had stabbed me with a pen,
I was shocked and said to him,
A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator...
Bartender says "Sorry sir, no pets allowed..."
Guy says "But this is a well trained alligator. May i demonstrate first?"
Out of curiosity, "Sure" says the bartender.
The guy picks up his pet alligator, sets it on the bar, and the alligator slowly opens its mouth. The pet owner proceeds by pulling out his cock, rests it inside t
Did you know that Julius Caesars last words were Et tu Brute...
Which roughly translates to “name a salad after me”
A big brute of a Navy SEAL dies and goes to heaven...
As he’s standing at the pearly gates, Saint Peter beckons him to come nearer.
St. Peter: What is it exactly that you did back on earth?
Navy SEAL: We’ll I’m a big, badass motherfucker, I have 218 confirmed insurgent kills, blown up strongholds killing hundreds of ISIS leaders. Even taken two bullets and a few dozen pieces of shrapnel for my country!
St. Peter: I
Celebrate the Ides of March with a donut. In fact...
Eat two, Brute.
Celebrate the Ides of March with a donut.
Eat two, Brute!
What does a Cesars salad says before you stab it?
Et tu, Brute?
Brutus asked Julius Caesar "How many hot dogs did you eat at the baseball game yesterday?"
and Caesar said "Et tu Brute."
Brutus: Hey Julius, how many marks did you get in Maths?
Julius: 82, Brute.
Brutus asked Caesar, "How many pieces of pizza have you eaten?"
"Ate two, Brute."
Et tu, Brute?
“You sunk my battleship!”
"Hey Caesar, what's the date?"
Julius Caesar and Brutus are having a conversation
Brutus asks: “How many apples did you eat last night?”
Julius responds: “Et two, Brute.”
(At the Roman Theatre)
Brutus: Wait, which one's my seat again?
Julius (sighs) : A2, Brute.
What did Caesar say when playing battleship?
Brutus: "What time is it?"
Caesar: "8:02 Brute"
Brute tries to kill Caesar.
But Caesar's not home. They ask the servant, "Where is Caesar?"
"He's just Roman"
A very odd man is walking down an old pioneer road
He looks up and says "Nice ass"
A beautiful woman striding along says "Thank you"
The odd man says "Oh I'm sorry, but I didn't mean you"
A man and his donkey walking just behind her say "Why thank you"
The odd man again apologizes and claims he wasn't talking about the donkey either