Brutal

Jokes

A man is on his first brutal day as a crewman of a pirate ship



A man is on his first brutal day as a crewman of a pirate ship. He is swabbing the decks, heaving ropes, and emptying pisspots. All the horrible jobs delegated the new sailor.

Then out onto the deck steps the meanest, crustiest, saltiest pirate captain you can imagine. He's got a peg leg, an eyepatch, a hook for a hand, a parrot on his shoulder, a long beard, a go


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An Italian man and a six sided polygon finally file for divorce...

His main reason for the unhappy marriage you ask? Court records show that he stated in a brutal custody battle for his children it was, and I quote, "because a da sexagon"

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A Pharaoh brutally anhilates his enemis

A Pharaoh of Egypt is known to be a brutal lord. On this day he is no different. He blinds his brother and kicks an assassin in the nuts while slowly burning his intestines.
Later in the day, he captures some random guard and cuts him open and holds up the beating heart in front of him whilst forcing the poor man to drink oil, after which he sets him on fire.

One day, when the P


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The brutal judge

Judge:what's your crime?

Accused:drugs

Judge:how many tablets where you discovered with?

Accused: about 700 tablets

Judge:okay then you're sentenced to 700 years in prison...case closed

Accused:..fainted 🤪🤪

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What did the horrified man say about the brutal retinal cleaning techniques employed by the United States Armed Forces?

"I see G.I.s squeegee eyes."

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Whats black and white and red all over?

The prisoners in the penal colony. The sun was especially brutal that day, and the warden had taken their roofs as punishment for an unnamed crime.

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Brutal wife

Husband says to his wife "How come you never tell me when you orgasm ?"

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She says "I don't like calling you at work"

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Brutal

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy, so I said, "I want a second opinion."

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He said, "Okay, you're ugly too."

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Women will not have true equality with men until...

They have a brutal dictator of their own, that genocides millions of their own citizens.

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Sophie turner (sansa stark) in brother in law's wedding

Aunties in Indian wedding can be more brutal than Frey's in Red Wedding.

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Re: Rude Joke

A friend's post on IG recently said "funniest comment gets a shoutout". Some jerk commented on her page "Eyelashes longer than my .... " (and yes he did sensor it and never said the word), but I still called him out on it.

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The comment got 12 likes which is a lot for a random person.

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I


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They say don't meet your heroes or you'll be disappointed.

I was just in a room with mine, but I wouldn't call it a meeting so much as brutal ass rape, so no disappointments there!

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Did you hear about the Montessori School shooter?

Pretty brutal. The gunman used an AR-15. Or 16 if that's what you think. There are no wrong answers.

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They lifted their blades in one last final assualt...

The battle was long, perilous, and gruesome. The twins made it through nearly three quarters of the enemy battalion before reaching the final lines of the fray. Wielding naught but rags and broken tools after their endless nightmare, they saw the end stretching over the thin horizon.

One last dance into the fires of hades' blistering blood would have them claim victory, or critic


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A Frenchman, a German, and an Italian have been captured by the Russians. They are all brought in to be interrogated.

The Frenchman goes in first. After 30 minutes of brutal torture he finally relents and tells his captors everything.

The German goes next. After 2 hours of torture, he gives in as well.

Finally the Italian is questioned. After 3 days of brutal torture he still has not said anything and is tossed into the holding cell with the other two men.

The German a


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Chuck Norris was bite by a deadly snake today

After 5 brutal days of agony, the snake finally died.

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An Arab tries out for the football team.

It's a brutal tryout and he comes home bloody, immediately declaring he's done with football.

“I was hit so hard, I saw Jesus. Do you know how hard you have to be hit to see somebody else’s god?”

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I failed a job interview today!

Interviewer: Tell me, what do you think is your biggest weakness?

Me: My brutal honesty!

Interviewer: I don't think that's really a weakness.

Me: Well I don't really give a fuck what you think!

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What's the difference between a brutal military overthrow and a Volkswagen Beetle made out of mucus?

One's a vicious coup and the other is a viscous coupe.

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What do you call a car that becomes a brutal dictator?

Sedan Hussein

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Yo mama so brutal

She killed the Dead Sea

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My GF was brutal when we moved. Told me anything not used in the past 6 months had to go...

I just looked down and gave my condolences

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Xbox one and PS4 got into a brutal fight, someone called an ambulance

Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U

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So a duck walks into a chicken house

And says "wtf r u doing here chicken" then the chicken fires back with "no wtf r U doing here duck", woah settle down chicken "time to get ruff" says the duck. "No time for crime" says the chicken. And they battle to the death as chicken on goers watch this brutal fight between the duck lord chicken bitch.


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The brutal torture that is dealt to defenders by Suarez, Neymar and Messi.....

Is definitely SNM......... Reaches for coat.

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So an Australian wakes up from his coma in a hospital after a brutal car crash...

...and the first thing he sees is a beautiful nurse!

So he asks her, "Did I come here to die?"

The nurse replies, "Nope, you came here yesterday."

:D

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Brutal

[deleted]

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My girlfriend and I saw a woman crawling in the road after a brutal car crash.

[deleted]

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My wife and I witnessed a brutal car crash.

[deleted]

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I told my friend to think about brutal emasculation when he gets horny but he doesn't want to be.

[deleted]

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What is the difference between black, morbid and brutal humor?

Black humor - 12 children in one trash can

Morbid humor - 1 children in 12 trash cans

Brutal humor - 12 trash cans in one children

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Hard Rex Wolfe: A Sequel to Brutal Villain Badguy

Hard Rex Wolfe
A Short Story
by Dick Wanke
Rex Wolfe was thinking about Villain Badguy again. Villain was a brutal Rolf Harris with agile kidneys and veiny testes.

Rex walked over to the window and reflected on his Slutty surroundings. He had always loved Skanky Flange Street with its talented, tender tunnels. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel horny


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After a particularly brutal battle with his fellow Avengers, Thor decides to relax at a local watering hole....

He drinks and drinks, barrels of beer and mead. After some time, he hits it off with a cute local girl and takes her back to Avengers Tower to show her his little Mjolnir.

He wakes in the morning, satisfied, and looks at the girl sleeping next to him. The poor thing is battered, with a busted lip and bruises all over her face and body. He gently shakes her awake and asks, "Are yo


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Got so drunk yesterday felt like I went to Germany...

Hanovers are brutal

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What is most brutal racist joke you know?

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A gay man is riding his motorcycle...

A gay man is riding his old rusty car, when the engine suddenly halts and wouldn't start. Naturally, he stops and starts waiting for help. Some time later, a truck stops by, driven by a both handsome and brutal man. "What's the matter?" - asks the truck driver. "I think the battery's dead." - "Alright, let's give your shit a push." - "Oh, okay


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Okay RJokes, what's your rawest most brutal joke?

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Reddit I need your sick twisted humor

My boyfriend is going through a bout of depression, and I want to make him feel better. He has a sick twisted sense of humor just like myself and I'm turning to You for help Reddit, so please give me your most.sick twisted perverted jokes, please be brutal and incredibly politically incorrect !!


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A first grade class is called in after recess

The teacher turns to Bobby, a white student. "What did you do during recess?"

"I played in the sandbox!" say Bobby.

"That sounds like fun!" says the teacher. "If you can write, 'box' on the board, I'll give you a sticker!"

The teacher turns to Tom, a white student. "And what did you do during reces


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