Bronze

Jokes

If Lebron James went to France and came third in a championship the prize giver would be like:

Le bronze medal goes to LebronJames !

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Congrats to Rose Lavelle of the US Womens National Soccer team for winning the Bronze Ball, awarded for being the 3rd best player at World Cup!

Also, huge congrats to the entire US Men’s National team, awarded the Blue Ball, for coming so close but not finishing!

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Why isn't suntanning an Olympic sport

because the best result is bronze

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Three military wives were at the base PX in Fort Hood fighting over the last toaster on the shelf. The first one says "My husband came back from Afghanistan with a Purple Heart and a Bronze Star. I deserve it."

The second one says "No. My husband came back from Afghanistan with a Purple Heart, a Bronze Star, and the Congressional Medal of Honor. I deserve it."
The third one says "Well, my husband came back from Afghanistan in a body bag. NOW GET YOUR MITTS OFF THAT TOASTER!"

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We asked the public what their favourite historical period was, here's the top three

Coming in at third place, the Bronze Age.

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Everyone has heard of the "Stone Age", the "Bronze Age", and the "Iron Age."...

Some say that we're now in the "Information Age." I'd say that we've passed through the Information Age and a consequence of it has been a proliferation in lawsuits and other legal actions. All of this information is being used as a weapon, wielded by attorneys in courts. We are now in the ate of the Lawyer - the Sue Age!


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Why might a French Archeologist be interested in how old an NBA star is?

They might be studying LeBron’s age (Le Bronze Age).

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The Chinese Curio Shop

A Tourist walked into a Chinese curio shop in San Francisco. While looking around at the exotic merchandise, he noticed a very lifelike, life-sized, bronze statue of a rat. It had no price tag, but was so incredibly striking the tourist decided he must have it He took it to the old shop owner and asked, "How much for the bronze rat ?"

"Ahhh, you have chosen wisely! It


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If having low confidence and low self-esteem was an Olympic sport...

I would probably get bronze.

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"What comes after the Bronze Age and the Iron Age?"

"The Heavy Metal Age, Sir!"

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A man was arrested this evening in the park for pubic indecency in front a bronze figure of a young girl.

He was reportedly charged with statutory rape.

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A Hundred Dollar Story

An Indian tourist walks into a curio shop in San Francisco. Looking around at the exotic, he notices a very lifelike, Life-sized bronze statue of a rat. It has no price tag, But is so striking he decides he must have it.
He takes it to the owner: "How much for the bronze rat?" "Twelve dollars for the rat, one hundred dollars for the Story," says the owner.
The


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How many bronze players (LoL) does it take to fix a lightbulb?

None, because they can't climb the ladder.

This might be a repost, I'm not sure.

¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

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I took part in the suntanning Olympics...



...but I only got bronze.

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I took part in the sun tanning Olympics

...I got the bronze

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I took part in the sun-tanning Olympics.

I got bronze.

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Who won the bronze medal for basketball in the 2016 Olympics?

[deleted]

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Why isn't suntanning an Olympic sport?

Because the best you can get is bronze.

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Rio 2016: China's bronze medalist in 50m air pistol has been caught taking an illegal substance

[deleted]

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If only there was an olympic sport for being a lazy bastard...

That bronze medal would be mine.

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What do you call round slices of ham from bronze age Iraq?

Akkadian Bacon.

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The Bronze Rat

A tourist walked into a curio shop in San Francisco. Looking around at the exotica, he noticed a very lifelike, life-sized bronze statue of a rat. It had no price tag, but it was so striking he decided he must have it.


He asked the owner, "How much for the bronze rat?"


"Twelve dollars for the rat. One hundred dollars for the story," s


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Olympic Condoms

A man was shopping in a nearby supermarket when he noticed a package that said "Olympic Condoms". He bought it, and told his wife about it.

" - Olympic Condoms? What's so special about them?"

" - They have 3 colors: Gold, Silver and Bronze."

" - And what color are you going to wear tonight?"

" - G


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Olympic Condoms. (NSFW)

A man was shopping in a nearby supermarket when he noticed a package that said "Olympic Condoms". He bought it, and told his wife about it.



" - Olympic Condoms? What's so special about them?"



" - They have 3 colors: Gold, Silver and Bronze."



" - And what color are you going to w


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Doctors HATE this guy!!!

HE GAYRAPED ALL THERE WIFES! lol, just heard this one from my WWII vet grandfather. He has end stage Alzheimer's.

Update: Just wanted to let you all know that my grandfather passed away this evening. I was able to be with him until the end. He kept asking "any comments on my joke?" and I'd wait a second for the refresh and say "Nope." Then he'd


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Did you hear about the goldfish that went bankrupt?

Now hes a bronze fish

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China won bronze in gymnastics at the Sydney 2000 Olympics but were stripped of the medal after it was revealed that Dong Fangxiao was under the minimum age of 16

And they would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those medalling kids.

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So I went around to a friends house...

And on his mantle was a bronze statue of an animal butt. When I asked him about it he said it was a catastrophe.

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A guy is visiting San Francisco, and walks into a small store in Chinatown.

He notices a small bronze statue of a rat.

He asks the owner "how much", and the owner replies "$50 for the bronze rat, and $1000 for the story behind it."

The guy says, "forget the story", and buys the rat.

As he's walking down the street he notices two live rats following him. As he continues to walk, more rats start follo


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Hope springs eternal

A tourist wanders into a back alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed, life-sized bronze sculpture of a rat.

The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner what it costs.
"Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," says the shop owner, "and a thousand dolla


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My is like a bronze medal...

Everyone gets it, no one wants it

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Has anyone heard the joke about the mansion and the stairs that go 'bronze silver gold bronze silver gold'?

I can't find it online and I've heard it before. If anyone knows it or can pm a link I would much appreciate it. Sorry if this breaks the rules but I don't know where else to ask.

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Hot grill bronze streamer next kaceytron http:www.twitch.tvmyfantasys

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An Arab wandering through the Sahara

finds an old bronze lamp. When he uncorks it, out comes a genie dressed in black, with side curls a yarmulke.

"Oy, someone has *finally* freed me from that prison! I will grant you *1 wish*."

"You covetous Jew, you will give me *3* wishes!"

"It is 1 or I give you nothing, you vile Arab!"

So the Arab thinks and says,


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Ive been told I'm not ambitious enough....

I've been told I'm not ambitious enough.

If only there was an olympic sport for being a lazy bastard.

That bronze medal would be mine.

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A frog walks into a bank...

to get a loan. He waits in line and when the teller calls him he walks up to do his thing.


"Hi, I'm Patty Black, what can I do for you today?" she asks.


He replies, "I'm here to get a loan."


"Well what do you have for collateral?"


"All I have is this antique bronze statuette


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Last week I competed in the World Tanning Championships..

I came out with a Bronze..

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I've been told I'm not ambitious enough...

If only there was an Olympic sport for being a lazy bastard.

That bronze medal would be mine.

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What's better than getting a bronze medal at the Special Olympics?

...getting a silver medal at the Special Olympics.

What's better than getting a silver medal at the Special Olympics?

...not being retarded.

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After one week of the Olympics, the Romanians have taken gold, silver, bronze

lead, copper and anything else they can get their hands on.

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The 2000 Chinese women's gymnastics team had to surrender their bronze medal after it was discovered that Dong Fangxiao was younger than the minimum age of 16.

They would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for those medalling kids.

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