Broken

Jokes

Went to a carnival but the Tunnel of Love was broken

They hung up a sign that said Out of Ardor

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Granny granny - Damn granny

Today at the bank, a granny asked me

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to help check her balance**.** I said sure. By the way there were **lots of people ...**

*in few seconds, Granny was sleeping on floor*

After that, All I can remember is people gathering around me

​

*my cur


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What did P in the keyboard say to his broken neighbour?

Are you O-key?

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My ruler broke today, so my friend let me use his broken one.

It was a half measure.

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A blonde with a latte is waiting for the bus.

A brunette and a redhead walk up to the stop, both in athletic wear.

"Oh, *god,* my tennis elbow hurts *so much,*" the brunette says, over-enunciating each word. "I guess that's what I get for playing that doubleheader yesterday."

Not to be outdone, the redhead cries out in anguish. "My turf toe is absolutely *killing* me. I guess that's


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A man goes to the doctor

**He says:** "doctor, when I rub my belly, it hurts.

When I press on my chest, it hurts more.

When I squeeze my neck, it is unbearable.

Do you know what I have doctor?"

**Doctor: "**Yes sir. Your finger is broken"

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What did Mike Tyson say after he dropped the soap in jail?

I broke my ass. My ass is broken. Anal.

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What do you all it when a gang leader gets his legs broken?

Crip walk.

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I hate broken windows...

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A blond goes to the doctor....

And says "I can't figure out what's wrong with me. When I touch my head it hurts, when I touch my boob it hurts, and when I touch my foot it hurts."

To which the doctor replies "ma'am I think you've broken your finger"

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A priest, a Baptist and a rabbi walk into a bar

A priest, a baptist and a rabbi walk into a bar and start getting sloshed.

They decide that they need to test their faith to see which one is the best. They decide the ultimate challenge is to see if they can convert a bear.

So the next day they all go out into the wood to try and meet up again at the bar that night.

The priest comes in with a broken arm and


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I tried to lie to my x-ray tech about my broken leg

But he could see right through me...


And then i didnt have a leg to stand on.

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I got a call from the hospital. "Sir, your wife has broken her arm in four places."

So I replied, "Well, I guess she better avoid those places."

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I recently lost my watch

I had gone to a party and lost my watch, after spending all night looking for it I give up and start walking home, I look down an alley way to see a guy harassing a young girl on my watch, so I walk over to him and give him a broken nose. Because no one does that to a lady, not on my watch...

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A person who posts lots of jokes to rjokes found that 3 keys on his keyboard is broken, what are those keys?

Ctrl,C, and V

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-Knock knock. -Whos there? -Broken pencil. -Broken pencil who?

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I don't mean to sound like a broken record but...

I don't mean to sound like a broken record but...
I don't mean to sound like a broken record but...
I don't mean to sound like a broken record but...

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Condoms are like injured bones...

If they are broken you are screwed and fucked up for life by Jeffrey Epstein

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Have you read the article about broken pencils?

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Penis Broken SFW

Now that I have your attention, my Pen Is broken.

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I hit the front page today.

Now my hand hurts, and my screen is broken.

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What did the sink say to the broken hand dryer?

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What did one broken computer say to the other?

Error 404: response not found.

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My father has Alzheimer's. Yesterday he was asking why there was his broken condom on the couch.

I reminded him my name.

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Free broken puppet! No hidden fees, free shipping, free returns. There's...

no strings attached.

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A 16 yo boy asks his mom if he can go bungee jumping

His mom's answer: "No, you were born of broken rubber and I don't want you to go out the same way!"

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How did the nurses save the man with a broken heart?

double blowjob surgery

he he he

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What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?

Give me my quarter back.

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Why dont people write with broken pencils?

It’s pointless.

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My refrigerator and I have a lot in common.

Cool, but broken inside.

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My wife was wondering why her shot glass was broken.

Doesn't she know glass brakes when you put a bullet in it.

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Where do bad plates go to after they've broken?

Helsinki

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My wifes Fitbit must be broken. It said she walked for 5 miles from 8:30am until 8:31am.

She was in bed giving me a handjob during that time. Goddamn faulty technology.

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What do you call a broken United States?

Disunited States of America

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My wifes Fitbit must be broken. It said she walked 5 miles.

The only thing she did today was go to our neighbors to get some sugar. Goddamn faulty technology.

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Years ago, I viciously beat up my high school bully with a baseball bat. Both of his arms were broken.

Come to think of it, that's probably why I felt brave enough to beat him up.

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A coach full of jazz musicians has broken down on the motorway, blocking all lanes.

Police say to expect some long jams.

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What do you get when you cross an unemployed person with a broken codelock?

Nothing, that combination doesn’t work.

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Did you hear about the mime that got into a bar fight? He was left with a broken left arm. Later the police came in to ask questions.

He had the right to remain silent.

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The games say press any button to start buts it broken.

I’ve been pressing my belly button for 2 hours now!

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A blonde woman goes to the doctors

Sitting in the chair she turns to the doctor and says “Every time I prod my body, it hurts. I could prod my arm, my leg and even my head and it’ll really hurt”

Intrigued the doctor examines her and smiles. He turns to the woman and says “You’ve broken your finger”


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What does a broken thermometer and AIDS have in common?

They've both wasted Mercury

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What did the seal with a broken arm say to the shark?

“Do not consume if seal is broken”

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Why is getting broken up with like doing algebra?

You've got an ex, and you're trying to figure out why.

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Broken puppet for sale

No strings attached

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What do you get when a Jew with an erection runs into a wall?

A Jew with a broken nose.

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A blind man, a hunchback and a guy with a broken leg wanted to ride a bus that goes to the hospital, but, the bus prohibits people with disabilities.

So when they took the bus the guy with the broken leg yelled "a spider bit me" and started to jump irratically. The blind man starts to cover his eyes and screamed loudly. The hunchback started to look at the ground exclaiming "where's the spider?"

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I thought my phone was broken as it keeps referring to me as Shirley.

Then I realised it was in Aeroplane mode

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I was going to tell you guys a joke about a broken pencil...

...but it's kinda pointless.

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How do you fix a broken Sousaphone??

With a Tuba glue

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