Broad

Jokes

What should you give the man who has everything?

Broad spectrum antibiotics.

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If you see a bunch of raccoons hanging out in broad daylight they got rabies.

Blonde: So they don't have it at night?

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My transgender friend just came back from studying internationally!

He was a broad

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Trump said he could murder someone in broad daylight and not lose any supporters.

Sadly, that was the last time he ever told the truth.

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What do you call a pre-op trans woman?

A broad with a rod.

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Trump said he could murder someone in broad daylight and not lose any supporters.

Sadly, that was the last time he ever told the truth.

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Proof that the moon landing is fake

If the moon landing actually happened, then why can it still be seen in the sky in broad daylight

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What do you call a person crossing a road in broad daylight, dressed as a clown carrying John Wick's dog?

Anything you want, cos if he's carrying John Wick's dog, he hasn't got much time to live.

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I dont know why so many streets are named Broad Street.

I mean I’m pretty sure plenty of guys live there too.

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Hey why are you here looking at that girl? I thought you were studying abroad?

No, I said a was studying a broad!

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Game of Thrones's Night King disappointed me ...

He's not even able to hit the broad side of a Bran...

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A biology student kidnapped and murdered a woman

He got away with it, and now spends a semester studying a broad.

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What I want in a woman

Friend 1: I think it's about time I got a girlfriend. Can you help set me up?

Friend 2: Sure, what do you want her to be like?

Friend 1: I don't really care but she has to be short.

Friend 2: Well that's a little broad

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I was chatting with a fat girl visiting from London. She said, "How would you Americans describe me?"

I tried to be nice so I said, "Perhaps just as a broad broad abroad."

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I spend two years a broad

I still have no idea how to walk in high heels

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I went to join the Army, they told me once I sign up I will have to fight a broad...

I signed up, then went home and beat up my wife. I am soo in.

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Art is a broad term

Men don't use it.

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What did Donald Trump say when he first met Melania?

Hey Vlad, 'ow much for the broad?

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Why did the virgin decide to join the semester at sea program?

He wanted to study a broad!

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Just figured out my roommates studying a broad next year.

Yeah, she’s 5’8 and blonde.

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How do you spot a misogynist artist?

He paints women with a broad brush.

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What do you call domestic abuse overseas?

Abusing a broad

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A magician turned his wife into a sofa

and could bot turn her back to herself. He took her to a veteran magician. The veteran agreed to treat the case and took her into a room. After an hour or so, he returns, with a broad smile.

The magician asked, "How's my wife now?"
The veteran magician replied, "Well, not great... but she's surely comfortable"


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My baby is costing a fortune in import costs.

It only drinks milk that comes from a broad.

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I once asked Dear Abby how to deal with my identical twin...

She replied "Forget that broad!"

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What do you call a street name after your ex-wife?

Broad Street!

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My rear window decals for pregnant women didnt sell well...

Maybe I should have come up with something other than “Baby in broad”....

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The only time my car goes 0-100 real fast.

Is when it's sitting in broad daylight on a summer day.

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I was having some trouble with a crossword.

I said to my dad, "I'm stuck on this crossword. Six letters, a broad road in a town or city. I still haven't got it!"

"Avenue?"

"No, I haven't, stop rubbing it in."

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A madman raped 7 women in broad daylight...

A madman raped 7 women in broad daylight. His mental faculties were too deranged. Everybody knew it was an open-and-shut case; this man was going to prison.

Before his trial, his lawyer said to him, "Sir, I could get you off, scot free. Only for a small fee of $20,000."

The man replied to him, "You feel because I'm mad, that I'm also foolish? Get


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My buddy is doing a semester abroad.

I would be perfectly content doing a broad a semester.

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Two guys are standing looking at a flagpole....

....and a woman walks up and asks what they're looking at. One guy responds, "We're trying to figure out how to see how tall this thing is." The lady says, "That's easy. Take it out of the ground, lay it down, measure it and then put it back." The guys politely thank her and she goes on her way.

After she leaves one of the guys turns to the other and


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Dad says, "College students are more interested in women today than ever before.."

A lot of them are in a program where they study a broad

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What do you call a prostitude's written account of a crime?

A broad statement.

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What does a chauvinistic doctor use as a general term for women with high cholesterol?

A Broad Stroke...

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In the beginning...

Miller Brewing said, "Let there be Lite."
The Fat Broad said, "Less filling, but I'm not sure it tastes great."

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GF asked me where I learned Kama Sutra

Told her I studied a broad.

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My girlfriend in college left me for another woman.

I completely misunderstood her when she said she was going to study a broad.

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Mom, am I ugly?

"Of course not, honey. You have everything a man wants, a deep voice, broad shoulders, facial hair..."

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Some guys beat me up with brass knuckles in broad daylight.

It was a pretty brazen act of violence.

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Why did Bruce Jenner go back to college?

So he could spend a semester a broad.

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Roaming charges are sexist

You have to pay more to use your phone if you're a broad.

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What do you call a row of women all arranged in order of attractiveness? oc

A broad spectrum.

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Bono and the Scotsman

At a recent U2 concert in Glasgow, Scotland, Bono asked the audience for total quiet.

Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands, once every few seconds. Holding the audience in total silence, he said into the microphone, “Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies.”

From the front of the crowd a voice with a broad Scottish accent pierce


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Feminism is a broad issue.

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My great great great great great uncle during the revolutionary war was quoted for his famous last words, saying...

"That sniper can't hit the broad side of a ba...."

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Request: Original joke about being stuck somewhere

Hello people. I am in dire need of a joke about being stuck somewhere. I know it's a broad description, but I am sure most anything will do. Props to it being original. I was hoping to use it in a short film and credit will be given.
Thanks!

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A feminist told me I really need to take a Women's Studies class.

I told her "There is no way I'm going to spend a semester studying a broad."

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Did you hear that actress from Legally Blonde was stabbed?

Me: Yeah. She was stabbed in California, in broad day light. The one from legally blonde. Reese....Something.... with-er... um...with-uh... ..ummm...

Friend: Witherspoon?

Me: No. With a knife.

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I wanted to ask "What's up with women"

But that was too broad of a question.

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