Breast

Jokes

Whats the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?

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What's better than a carnation on your breast before prom?

Tulips on your cock after prom.

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A deaf couple was having trouble communicating in the bedroom once the lights were out.

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Not sure if she's a tranny?

Hope for the breast. Prepare for the wurst.

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I have started drinking my wife's breast milk.

Why drink milk from some other cow when you have one at home.

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Why would a girl get breast implants, lip injections, and liposuction in order to look like a bimbo?

Honestly, I just don't understand their thot process.

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Why would a girl get breast implants, lip injections, and liposuction in order to look like bimbos?

Honestly, I don't understand their thot process.

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Guys, please don't make jokes about September 11th. My sister died that day.

Breast cancer is a terrible way to go.

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Grandma and grandpa lived in a one room house with their kids so had little "private time".

Grandma said if you wake up in the middle of the night and you want to make love squeeze my breast once. If you don't want to make love squeeze it twice. Grandpa said OK if you wake up in the middle of the night and you want to make love squeeze my privates once. If you don't want to make love squeeze it 20 times.


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What does breast milk taste like?

Umami.

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Is breast milk vegan?

No. Because it's a product of animal suffering.

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Charlie Sheen's a fantastic swimmer!

His breast stroke's impeccable

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Thighs or breasts? NSFW

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The sex system

A married couple wanted it to be less embarrassing to ask each other for sex when one or the other does not want to do it. So they worked out a system. The wife says "Ok if you wanna have sex reach over and tug my breast one time, if you don't, tug two times." The husband says "Ok then, same for me, if u wanna have sex reach over and tug my penis one time, if not just reach ove


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Having a mahogany breast would be annoying.

Wooden tit?

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I'm fed up with women that breast feed in public

they're never smiling in their picture

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Whats the difference between a lobster with breast implants and a old bus station

Ones a rusty bus station the other is a busty crustacean.

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What the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?

One’s a crusty bus station and the other’s a busty crustacean!

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What do you call the cleavage between the breast implants?

Silicon valley.

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Imagine having breast implants made of wood...

...yeah, that would really hurt, wooden tit?

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Whats the difference between a Greyhound bus station and a lobster with breast implants?

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

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I recently jumped sides on breast feeding in public by doing it myself and it felt liberating

It got kind of awkward since it wasn't my child and I'm a guy in mid thirties and then the cops showed up too.

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My girlfriend lost her tits after I made a bad joke...

...about her breast cancer.

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Lady wants a boob job

A lady goes to her husband and tells him she wants a boob job. She tells him it will give her more confidence and make her feel better about herself. He asks her how much and she tells him 10,000 dollars. He finally agrees but says under one condition. What’s that she asked. He tells her that she can do it but first she has to rub a piece of toilet paper between her breast for a month. She s


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What does a woman and Kentucky fried chicken have in common?

By the time you're finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.

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Did you hear the one about the nurse?

A nurse, needing to fill out a patients chart, reaches into her breast pocket and pulls out a rectal thermometer. "Shit! Some asshole stole my pen"

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My mom.

She was the breast thing in my life.

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A plastic surgeon and a tattoo artist made a deal, where the surgeon did a breast enhancement operation for free for the tattoo artist, and in return she promised to tattoo the surgeon for free

Tit for tat

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Whats the difference between an old bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?

One’s a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

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My wife can't naturally breast feed, but luckily we found another way too feed our child.

She's pumped.

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Whats the difference between a dirty waiting area for public transport and a lobster with breast implants?

Ones a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean

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A man was visiting his wife in the hospital where she has been in a coma for several years.

On this visit he decides to rub her left breast instead of just talking to her. On doing this she lets out a sigh. The man runs out and tells the doctor who says this is a good sign and suggests he should try rubbing her right breast to see if there is any reaction.

The man goes in and rubs her right breast and this brings a moan. From this, the doctor suggests that the man should go


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What did chest heavy policewoman say to her arrestee?

You are under a breast.

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How are girls and boxes of kfc chicked similar

After you're done with the breast and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in

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A joke about mahogany breast implants would be silly

Wooden Tit

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There was once a woman who held a funeral for her boob after a mastectomy

The tombstone said "Breast In Peace"

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One morning while his wife was making breakfast, a man walked up to her and gave her a healthy pinch on her butt.

He said to her, "If you firmed up your butt we could get rid of your girdle." The wife was angry but said nothing. The next morning her husband pinched her breast and said, "If you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra." The wife grabbed her husband's penis and replied, "and if you firmed this up we could get rid of the mailman, the gardener, the pool man, and


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A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question.

As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both startled and he says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221."


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My mom is getting a biopsy done in the morning

We’re hoping for the breast

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Breast implants are like magic tricks

If you can convince me they’re real in the moment, I don’t care that they’re fake

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What is a straight male pervert's favorite food?

Breast meat

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An elephant says to a camel. "Haahaa seems like you have two breast growing on your back."

Camel responds.."With a face like yours, I'd just shut up."

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A doctor was arrested for using fake breast implants on patients.

He was sentenced to face the wall.

After all, it was just a silly con.

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What do you call the cleavage between breast implants?

Silicon Valley

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NSFW Evil baby and his twin brother

A baby hated his twin brother very very much.

So one night he decided to put poison on their mother's breasts, hoping that his brother will die from being breast-fed.

Next morning, their father died.

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What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

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Whats the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?



One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

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My wife got diagnosed with breast cancer

I told her it couldn't be that bad and she lost her tits.

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A recent finding by statisticians.

The average human has one breast and one testicle.

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What do you call a good fitting bra?

A girl's breast friend

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