Breakup

Jokes

To show my devotion to my new girlfriend I got a tattoo of her name on my hand.

She cheated on me a few weeks later and after the breakup I soon realised that for the remainder of my single life she'll continue to f**k me over.

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After my breakup I talked to my ex one last time and said: Do you know whats been the best thing since I left you, its-

“Oh, I know. You’ve been out shagging anything that moves!” she said. “Sowing your wild oats, getting your prick into anything with a pulse. I know exactly what you’re all about!”

“-it’s that I’ve actually been able to finish a fucking sentence without being interrupted.”


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Why did Marzia breakup with Pewds?

Because she wanted to Mary Ham.

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Me and my girlfriend broke up. She said Im breaking up because I need some space

So, I got her a job at NASA

She said "I don’t think you understand the gravity of the situation."

​

So after that breakup I started adding space everywhere. I was arrested for being the rapist.

When all i was, was just a therapist.

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What do you call a fire truck breakup

A dumptster fire dumb truck up truck break up up brake brake slam the breakup fire break dump fire truck!! 😃

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I had to breakup with my girlfriend

After she lost her toes in a climbing accident.

Afterall I am lac-toes intolerant.

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I remember the day my ex sent me a breakup message.

And mum asked me what am I reading? I told her, " it's tips to cook delicious food " then she said why are you crying? Then I replied," I've reached where they are cutting onions.

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I have a brother whos gay and recently went through a breakup.

This morning he walked into the room without a shirt on so I said, “What’s up topless?” He looked back at me and yelled, “You don’t have to remind me!”

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How do you deal with breakup?

Breakdown :(

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During our breakup, my ex said that my ego was way too big

But I think it’s one of the things that makes me so great

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Looks like Pete Davidson is cashing in on his breakup with Ariana Grande.

Singing in a deodorant commercial:

“Thank you, Axe
Thank you, Axe
Thank you, Axe
I’m so fuckin’ grateful for my Axe”

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What does a civil engineer say on his breakup?

CeMent a lot to me,
Why did she Brick my Heart

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What does the Earth do after a bad breakup?

Gets drunk off its axis.

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What do you call a teenager going through a serious breakup

Adele-scent.



^^^Kill ^^^me

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Breakup

I just ended a long-term relationship today. I’m not too bothered, it wasn’t mine.

😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣

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I asked my ex-girlfriend for breakup sex...

...and she said a handmade gift is the best.

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Why did the square breakup with the circle?

She wasn't edgy enough!

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Why WW2 started

Hitler had started WW2 after a breakup with his Polish girlfriend.

She didn't want to see him anymore, so Hitler said,

"Well, I'm Nazi'ing you anymore!"

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My ex girlfriend asked me out for a breakup sex but I am a well manner gentleman so I kindly refused and told her...

...to GO FUCK HERSELF!!

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After Breakup due to commitment issues

Girlfriend : You're an unreliable pathetic fuck. I'm leaving! Bye!
Me : Can't say adieu.

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Why shouldn't you be sad about the breakup with your ex?

[deleted]

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What hurts more than a breakup?

Muscle cramps.

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Had to breakup with my girlfriend today...

...Couldn’t be going out with someone with such bad taste in men.

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Did you hear about the LEGO girls bad breakup?

She was falling to pieces.

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For men, having a bad breakup is like going through menopause.

It sucks until you realize you don't have anymore girl problems.

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Unsynced subtitles.

What hurts more than a breakup?

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Why should you never breakup with a goalie?

Why should you never breakup with a goalie?

Because he's a keeper.

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My ex-girlfriend was a slut.

She bust more nuts than a pistachio junkie.

edit: Going through a potential breakup, so if you see this, this isnt about you, babe. Dont leave me, please.

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I think I need to breakup with my girlfriend..

[deleted]

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Breakup moment

A young man bought an expensive piece of jewelry as a present for his girlfriend. “Don’t you want her name engraved on it?” asked the clerk. The young man thought for a moment, and then, ever the realistic, steadfastly replied, “No, just engrave it: To My One and Only Love. That way, if we break up and she throws it back to me in anger, I can use it again.”


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Why did the square breakup with the circle?

She wasn't edgy enough!

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Why do so many people listen to Taylor Swift songs after a breakup?

Because they were tailor made for it.

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Love amp Breakups In China

love in China is best , you see her face in every one :)
And Breakups In China Are Worst, You See Her Face Everywhere. :P

P.S. I don't think breakup Happens in China Being Having Similar Face dey Cn Cheat Der Gf's by telling Them I thought its u. LOL!

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Why is it so hard to breakup with Japanese girls?

You have to drop the bomb twice

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"Yellow means breakup"- I thought, looking at his teeth.

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I'm going to have to breakup with my girlfriend...

...I just found out she has terrible taste in men.

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Wat the hell would I do with this rocket?

joke of the day:

Boy bought gift 4 His Girl friend on breakup party-

Girl Friend:Wat the hell would I do with this rocket?

Boy: U wanted stars ????
Now sit on it and GET LOST :D hahhahah

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Soldier had his dominant hand blown off

Guess you could say it was an explosive breakup

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Messy Breakup (oc)

My ex-wife and I fought over who would keep the dog. I got angry and threw my dessert at her. I went to jail and she got custardy.

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Just went through a rough breakup with my cross eyed girlfriend.

Turns out she was seeing someone else..

..but the real joke is I don't have a girlfriend.

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Breakup

My girlfriend told me she was breaking up with me over the phone yesterday, I don't know why I could hear her just fine on my side.

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What did the website say to the Google bot after their breakup?

I knew you'd come crawling back to me someday.

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What did the conspiracy theorist use as his breakup line?

Baby, I'm sorry, but I can't be with someone who's as real as the Moon landing...

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