Breakdown

Jokes

Your favourite sport says a lot about your life.

For example: rugby has a breakdown every ten seconds, and so do I.

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I got pulled over while in the breakdown lane

But then I had a mental breakdown and he let me go

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What do you call it when an anti-vaxxer has a nervous breakdown?

Polio

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I enjoy looking at my poop.

Everytime I go to the bathroom to take a shit, I'd always remember to not flush immediately and look at my poop. I'd look at it's shape and color, and I'd admire every bit of it. I could not live without this process.

Then one time, I accidentally flushed after I pooped. I didn't even had the chance to look what it looked like. I was mad. I wanted to see the p


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How do you deal with breakup?

Breakdown :(

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What do you call it when there is a power breakdown at a monastery?

Darkroom.

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I saw someone drive past me in an accident recovery vehicle, looking a state and about to cry.

He looked like he was on his way to a breakdown

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Back in the 70's, when the lead singer of the Who had a mental breakdown, the rest of the band wanted him committed...



...but his psychiatrist refused to do it because it says in the bible, "Thou Shalt Not Commit A Daltrey."

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What do you call an Alabaman's mental breakdown?

An incestential crisis.

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Man in an AA van was in tears this morning at the side of a busy junction

Reports believe has had a breakdown

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I've had a breakdown," I told the lady from AAA


"Okay sir, tell us where you are and we will send someone as soon as possible", she replied.

"On the motorway, heading north, just beyond junction 6."

"Okay sir, we will be with you as soon as possible, just stay with your car."

What car? I thought to myself, as I threw more of my own shit at passing motorists.


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Got stuck on the highway when the engine blew on the way to Comic Con.

It was a nerd bus breakdown.

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In a marriage breakdown there are always both to be to blame...

...the wife and the mother-in-law.

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You know that YouTuber who does the Game of Thrones breakdown videos, AltShiftX? His kids got into a lot of trouble in Cleveland last night.

Their names are Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V

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A dog had a nervous breakdown.

Because he was barking at a deaf person.

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Today I saw this AA man crying hysterically in his van...

I thought, "He's heading for a breakdown."

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Exception to the rule

The First Sergeant noticed a new private one day and and barked at him to come into his office. "What is your name?" was the first thing the First Sergeant asked the new guy.

"John," the new guy replied.

The First Sergeant scowled, "Look, I don't know what kind of bleeding-heart, liberal pansy stuff they're teaching troops in Basic today


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Giving to the less fortunate

A homeless man had been driven to picking small blades of grass that he could find on the side of the street for food.

Then, a rich man drove up next to him, riding in a limo, and told him to get inside for a more plentiful meal.

The homeless man, almost taken aback by tears of joy, starts to enter the limo, but suddenly stops. He says "This is a very generous offe


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Car Breakdown

Two male co-workers were driving to a bar together when they noticed a car broken down on the side of the street with two women standing near it. They pull over, and one man walks halfway to the broken down car before turning around and quickly walking back.

"What's wrong?" the other man asks. He answers "One of them is my wife, and the other is my mistress. M


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