Brake

Jokes

My name is lorax I speak for the trees.

Pay attention to the Amazon, before I brake your knees.

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Why are brake shops going bankrupt?

Because people have hard time stoping by

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I have an addiction to brake fluid.

But that's perfectly fine, because I can stop whenever.

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My friends think that Im addicted to brake fluid.

But I can stop anytime I want.

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How Do You top A Car?

You tep on the brake, tupid.

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What did Ross tell Rachel when their car accidentally hit a tree?

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I'm addicted to brake fluid.


But I can stop any time.

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What's the car's favourite meal?

Brake-fast

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I have a friend who's addicted to brake fluid

He says he can stop anytime

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My mate is addicted to brake fluid

He can stop at any time though

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Why my driving instructor hated me:

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Why did the brake pedal get therapy?

It was tired of being depressed.

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How do you top a car?

Tep on the brake, tupid.

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I'm addicted to brake fluid,

but I can stop whenever I want.

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Im not addicted to brake fluid

I can stop at any time

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Im addicted to brake fluid

It's ok, I can stop at any time

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I used to know someone who was addicted to drinking brake fluid

They said they could stop at any time.

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What happens when you press the brake pedal and the accelerator pedal at the same time when youre in a car

It takes a screenshot

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I'm addicted to brake fluid,

But I can stop whenever I want.

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My friend is addicted to drinking brake fluid

He says he can stop anytime

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What do you call a fire truck breakup

A dumptster fire dumb truck up truck break up up brake brake slam the breakup fire break dump fire truck!! 😃

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One day a mechanic was working under a car

And some brake fluid dripped into his mouth. "Wow! That stuff isn't too bad tasting," he thought. The next day, he told his buddy about tasting the brake fluid. "It was pretty good, really. I think I'll have a little more today."


His friend was a little concerned but didn't say anything. The next day, "Hey, I drank a whole glass of brake


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What do vehicles do in discos?

They brake-dance

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I was taking a driving lesson

I asked my instructor if, upon seeing a small animal jumping out in front of me, I should slam the brake. He told me that if an animal jumps out, I have to just hit it...

I chased that squirrel through four fields and a barn before I got him.

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I hate that lacrosse singer. How dare him brake into my bats aquarium and harass my lion?! Stupid giraffes...

I’m going to kill that umbrella!!!

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It's funny that no matter where you are in the world or what kind of car you get in the clutch, brake and gas pedals are always in the same place

And yet people still can't find the gas pedal when the light turns green.

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Garage joke

So I drive into a garage as my car was broken.
The mechanic said "brake lights"
So I got a hammer and broke all of the lights.
He then said "exhaust" and I said "OF COURSE I AM I'VE JUST BEEN BRAKING LIGHTS!"

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I dont get why everyone says Chevys are unreliable.

After 100k miles I’ve only needed to replace: The intercooler, the camshaft, the air filter, the brake lines, the brake discs, the spark plug, head gasket, the exhaust manifold, the oil filter, the water pump, the timing belt, the cylinder head, the intake manifold (twice though), the crankshaft, the alternator, the wiper motor, the rear windscreen, both taillights, the right headlight casin


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I'm addicted to brake fluid.....

but I can stop whenever I want

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Sticks and stones may brake my bones

but it's The Rock that will seriously fuck me up.

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Why are the brake discs of Miley Cyrus' car shaped like a human organ?

'cause nothing brakes like a heart.

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Help! My brother has developed an addiction to drinking brake fluid.

Our family is worried but he says it's okay because he can stop whenever he wants.

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Mafia Boss: I want the brake lines of this guys car to be rusting.

Chemist: I’m listening.

Mafia Boss: But make sure..it looks like an oxidant.

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A guy at my work was so desperate of an alcoholic that he started drinking brake fluid.

He said he could stop at any time though.

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A guy at my work was so desperate of an alcoholic that he started drinking brake fluid.

He said he could stop at any time though.

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Im not addicted to brake fluid.

I can stop anytime.

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So what if I'm addicted to drinking brake fluid?

I can stop any time.

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I only ever go to Gamestop for one reason nowadays...

That's where I take my games when they brake.

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My friends addicted to drinking brake fluid...

But he tells me he can stop anytime he wants.

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I saw a guy this morning injecting himself with brake fluid. Stunned, I asked him if he had lost his mind?!

He looked at me and said - It’s ok. I can stop anytime

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What happens to the car if you press the accelerator and the brake at the same time?

It takes a screenshot.

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How much does an Asian weigh?

Just enough to brake the rice

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How much does an Asian weigh?

Just enough to brake the rice

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I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid.

He says he can stop any time.

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Im addicted to brake fluid

My friends tell me that it’s really dangerous, but I can stop any time I want.

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I'm not addicted to brake fluid.

I can stop at any time.

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If I had a boner and ran into a wall...

I would brake my nose

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What happens to the car if you press the brake and accelerator at the same time?

It takes a screenshot

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A friend of mine developed a strange addiction and drinks brake fluid.

When I warned him of the dangers, He said " No worries, I can stop anytime."

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One day a mechanic was working under a car

And some brake fluid dripped into his mouth. "Wow! That stuff isn't too bad tasting," he thought. The next day, he told his buddy about tasting the brake fluid. "It was pretty good, really. I think I'll have a little more today."


His friend was a little concerned, but didn't say anything. The next day, "Hey, I drank a whole glass of bra


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