Bounce

Jokes

A little boy accidentally walked in on his parents having sex

His mom, who was on top, screamed in embarrassment and told him to get out.


Later on, not wanting her son to be scared by what he saw, she asked him why he came in their room.


"I wanted a snack and I couldn't find you guys! What were you doing to Daddy?"

Seeing an opportunity, his mom said "Oh honey, to keep Daddy's bel


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What do you call a plane that can bounce?

A boeing.

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"The viper is coming!"

"The viper is coming?!"
"Yea he calls himself the viper"
"This viper guy sounds scary we better bounce before he comes"
*'viper' walks in
*Russian accent "I am the viper here to vipe the vindows"
"Oh"

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A rabbit was hit by a car,killing it instantly.

Saddened by this,an animal lover dashed over to the dead rabbit,and sprayed it with an aerosol can.Immediately,the rabbit got up,bounced three times and waved,bounced three times and waved,bounced three times and waved.A person who noticed the event went up to the animal lover to see what it was that made the rabbit jump up,bounce three times and wave,bounce three times and wave,bounce three times


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A dog is always happy to see you

They get excited and run up to greet you at the door and bounce around happily whenever you come home. Human equivalent mental age: 3.

A cat doesn't give a fuck and is tired of your shit. Human equivalent mental age: 40

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What sound do planes make as they bounce?

Boeing-Boeing-Boeing

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What sound soes a 747 plane bake When it bounce on the runway?

Boeing boeing boeing

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Me: Doctor! My trampoline is sick!

Doc: I'm sure it will bounce back.

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He wants to save him.

John wants to jump from a buliding and his friend Dave is trying to save him.
Another man walks past Dave, and asks him: What are you doing?

-Dave replies: Oh, my friend is gonna jump and I want to save him.

-Man: How are you gonna do it?

-Dave: It is easy, he will jump then I will catch him.

-Man: Are you fucking retarded, you are both gon


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What do you call a bust that doesn't bounce?

Anti-gravititties

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Why is 'Boeing' spelled that way?

Because their planes don't bounce when they hit the ground.

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Why do they call them Boeing Jets?

They don’t even bounce very good.

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What do you call an Irish man who likes to bounce off walls?

Rick O'shea

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If you have a stick in your ass....

BOUNCE on that motherfucker!

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So I was jumping on my trampoline the other day when a group of thugs started to approach me...

So I decided to bounce.

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Im not worried about the Chicago Bears.

I’m sure they will bounce back.

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I served rabbit for my New Years party.

It got over the net, but there was almost no bounce.

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What do banks, and porn videos filmed in Prague have in common?

They bounce Czechs

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When a fellow mechanic took a tire off a car the other day he said, "These tires have some pretty good bounce to them."

I replied, "Tires are like boobs. They always bounce unless they're flat."

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Why did the echo cross the canyon?

To bounce off the other side!

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Did you hear about the little girl who had her trampoline stolen?

Shes obviously gutted but she'll bounce back

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My girlfriend hates it when I tap the brakes to make the car bounce when I listen to hiphop.

But when I think about it, she never did like brakedancing.

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My 2-year-old wouldn't come out of the carnival bounce house, so the attendant had to go in and get him

I really thought I wouldn't have to worry about him getting thrown out of places by bouncers until he got older.

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Yo mamma so fat

That if meteorite would hit the earth she will just bounce it.

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Paid a gorgeous Slovakian girl to bounce on a trampoline with me

The Czech bounced

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There were once two friends named Frederick and Timothy who loved Wallace and Gromit.

From their time as children, they could always be seen watching it together, and whenever their parents tried to play something else for them, they would start crying and throwing a fit. So the parents let them watch it, believing it was simply a phase.

And for the most part it was, with the friends continuing to bond over their mutual love of Wallace and Gromit for several years, un


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Make like an ill-fated skydiver...

And bounce

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The largest bounce house in the world is around 10,000 feet, big enough to live in...

But the rent is pretty high due to inflation

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What are some things to say when leaving?

Things like "Let's make like a ball and bounce." or "I'm going to make like a tree and leave." or "I'm off like a prom dress."

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My brother lost his job at the rubber factory

... but I think he'll bounce back.

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I served baby rabbit this evening.

It got over the net, but there was practically no bounce.

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Some women bounce back quickly after pregnancy..

some just bounce

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Women say it's unfair that men get more attractive as we get older.

It's usually because we hit bottom really hard and bounce back up.

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My jumper cables stopped working the other day

So I called triple A to bounce up my trampoline

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What's the difference between a soccerfootball and a cheque?

You don't want the cheque to bounce

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A scientist is making a special bra.

A scientist is making a bra which doesn't make boobs to bounce while running and neither shows nipples when its wet due to rain.

Don't worry friends, that motherfucker has been assassinated.

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Found a $50 bill in the laundromat the other day..

I looked to the washer and dryers for clues, but they all told me to Bounce.

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The Red Rubber Ball

A mathematician, a phycisist, and an engineer are given the task of finding how high a particular red rubber ball will bounce when dropped from a given height onto a given surface.

The mathematician derives the elasticity from its chemical makeup, derives equations to determine how high it will bounce and calculates it.

The physicist takes the ball into the lab, measures


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So I heard a fact the other day

Glass balls bounce higher than rubber balls. But no balls bounce higher than snoopdog fucking on an airplane.

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David Cross joke from Rolling Stone

So a guy is walking down the street. He sees a friend of his approaching him, and his friend has a little band-aid on his forehead. And the guy goes, “Hey, what happened?” And the friend goes, “Oh my God, this was fucking nuts, man. I was at this rooftop party, all right, on the 12th floor, sitting on the edge, and a huge gust of wind comes, blows me off the building, twelve stor


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Judging by the mess in the living room.

Babies don't bounce.

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