Boost

Jokes

A good friend of mine, Frank, owns and operates a struggling Hot Dog business...

He recently turned to social media to help boost sales though, and is determined to make every post a weiner.

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My girlfriend said she wanted to try some new condoms with something special inside to boost her pleasure

I said "Oh what's that" and she said "Other men's cocks"

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What kind of "white lies" have you told to your sex partners in order to protect or boost their self-esteem

Me: Nothing cause I don't talk to my right hand

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I know how boost employment rates and definitely how to decrease suicide rates:

>!Increase euthanasia facilities.!<

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Germs boost your immune system

They say that exposure germs boosts your immune system. So to ensure a healthy amount of exposure, a couple times a week I take a sip of some tea that's been sitting out for a few days. I don't plan it.....
But it still happens :(

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I was on a plane and when we reached 35,000 feet the pilot puts his mic down and forgets to turn it off, he says to the copilot what was could use now is a coffee and a blow job, the stewardess goes running in to tell him its still on...

And a guy from the back of the plane is like “hey, don’t try and steal jokes and pass them off as your own, it’s one thing to be telling one you heard to a friend but you shouldn’t go around telling them for karma and to boost your self esteem undeservedly”

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The Ku Klux Klan has a new retirement program to help boost enrollment...

It's called 401kkk.

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Michael Jackson robbed a Boost Juice before he died..

He was a smoothie criminal.

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I am 37 and she's 12. She wants me. What can I do?

I've been level 37 for a while now and this level 12 wants me to boost her and join her clan but I'm not sure it it's the right path for my character right now.

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Why does the midget cross the road running?

He needs a boost to reach the sidewalk

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If you need a boost of self-esteem, simply wait until sunset...

and then whip your dick out. Once you look at the shadow, your esteem will be boosted.

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What is a ghosts favorite pair of kicks?

BOOst

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Psychedelic mushrooms reduce authoritarianism and boost nature relatedness - science shows.

Yeh - it's hard to salute when you're face down in the grass.

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Bathroom Confession

The Benghazi hearings and Emailgate scandal in full thrust, the trial atmosphere had taken on a decidedly severe tone. Exhausted, Hillary asked for a short break to run to the loo. Once inside, she was approached by a female investigative reporter.
"Thats a tough crowd out there", she said, attempting to cozy up to the beleaguered candidate.
"Listen, I have the inside li


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Why did the redditor go to rzelda?

To boost his link karma!

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How would you boost your country's exponentially??

By encouraging your citizens to start smoking

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Scientists have found that a handful of nuts can boost fertility

[deleted]

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Knock-knock. "Who's there?", 'Microsoft.', "Microsoft who?"...

Upgrade to Premium

Upgrade now to the Microsoft Punchline Collection Premium edition and receive these great features:

* No advertisements
* More coins for completing Daily Challenges
* Get a boost for every Knock-knock and Chicken Crosses the Road.

[ Upgrade for 1 month $1.49 ]

[ Upgrade for 1 year: $9.99 ]

[ No, thanks]


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What does Cosby say in the mirror to boost his confidence before he goes out?

Come on, Bill— you got this. You have the moves like jäger.

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I'm taking an ornithology class as an elective to boost my GPA.

It's a bird course.

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My dad is like boost mobile.

where you at dog? ;(

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Would you like to dance? This is one of my favorite jokes. Hope y'all like it.

200 years ago, a boy's eye got poked out by a thorny branch. His father was a famous wood worker and decided to make the best thing he'd ever made! A wooden eye for his son.

The wooden eye looked pretty good-- most people couldn't tell it wasn't real. But still, the boy had low confidence because of it.

In an effort to boost his confidence, his friend


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Topical Jokes (519)

Good evening, folks! It is once again time to relay the jokes.

First up, if you're not following this story, you're missing out. The IRS scandal continues to get stickier. According to a White House insider, President Obama learned about the IRS scandal by watching TV news. As shocking as that may seem, it's not near as bad when you learn Biden only found out and unders


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So I went to a stable for a self confidence boost

I found myself surrounded by a bunch of neigh-sayers.

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How to get massive up votes and boost your ego.

Submit a link that states what you did, and want others to agree with, was actually done by someone else that is "too modest" to think it's good and post it. Claim you think it's simply amazing, which you already did since it's your work.

Tada, watch the up votes and ego boost come flooding in for you. Plenty have already mastered this technique.


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