Book

Jokes

The Book of Simple Logic

A man joins a competition and wins. But the prize is a book. The title of the book is "simple logic". Man gets angry for such a stupid prize and asks;

-What is written in this book?

-You'll see when you read it.

-No I'm not gonna read this tell me what is written?

-Ok, it's a Book of Simple Logic.

-What does


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I bumped into this kid in the street.

I showed him a book I wrote, since he looked bored and lonely.


Turns out he was an orphan, and he didn't much like my book but was curious as to how successful it was.

​

I said, "Well, it puts a roof over my head."

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I decided to kill off a couple characters in the book Im working on

It will really spice up my autobiography

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Has anyone ever read the book "My Overactive Bladder"?

It was written by I.P. Offton

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What's a boob addict's favourite book?

Infinite Chest.

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I would right a book about my love for Phantom of the Opera...

...but the Angel of Music is very strict.

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What happened at the anarchist typesetter's trial?

The judge threw the book at him because his behavior was unjustified.

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One Million Copies of a new book Sold

One Million Copies of a new book sold in just 2 days due to a typing error of just 1 alphabet in title

Title of book :

"an idea can change your Wife"

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Typing Mistake

One million copies of a new book sold
In just 2 days due to typing error of 1 alphabet in
title.
"An idea,that can change ur wife''
While real word was (life).

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Why did the book get stitches?

Because he had his appendix removed.


note: books can also be female.

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I tried...

I tried reading a book about self-hypnosis but it keeps sending me to sleep.

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An actual 'reddit' joke- and the first joke I ever told when I was a little kid...

It's pretty stupid but whatever...

What did the chicken say to the librarian?

"Book, book, book"

What did the frog say to the chicken?

"Reddit, reddit, reddit..."

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Mexican book store

A man is walking through his local mall when he notices a Mexican book store. He decides to go in because he has never seen a Mexican book store before. He browses through the store and finally asks the clerk, "Do you have the book on Donald Trump's foreign policies with Mexico?"

The clerk replies, "Screw you, get out, stay out!"

The man replies,


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Im reading a book about Anti-Gravity...

Its impossible to put down

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What is a britishers favourite book?

Eroteaca

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Dont judge a book by its cover. Why?

My maths textbook had a picture of someone having fun on the front.

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Have you ever read the book "What Happened Just Now?"

It was written by Alex Plainlater

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So my penis was in the guiness book of world records...

Until the librarian told me to take it out.

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A man went to the local library and asked the librarian for a book on how to commit suicide.

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Dont judge a book by its cover.

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Do you know why poker players can't have tattoos with words?

Because the others could read them like a book.

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Mexican Word of the Day: Charcuterie

I bought that bish a book but... charcuterie!

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My friend wrote a book called "I'm Desperate For Money".

I can't recommend it enough.

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Hopefully, I've got a book coming out soon.

I shouldn't have eaten it really.

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I decided to kill off a few characters in the book Im writing.

It would definitely spice up my autobiography a little.

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To make extra cash, my professor forces all his students to buy his book at the beginning of the term.

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2 mice are chewing on a roll of film

One looks at the other and says "the book was better"

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I decided to kill off a few characters in the book Im writing.

It should definitely spice up my autobiography.

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What kind of book authors should never kill off any of their characters for drama?

Biographers.

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Quick reminder to everyone

Never read a pop-up book about giraffes.

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A bit of advice

Never read a pop-up book about giraffes.

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I bought a book about tiny doorways

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I decided to kill off some characters in the book I'm writing

Would definitely spice up my autobiography a little

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I went to the bookstore and found a book entitled How to solve 50 of your problems

So I bought two.

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Every time I drive by a strip club I am reminded of my favourite book as kid, Pinocchio

Both made me realize happy endings were a fairy tale

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Classic Reddit joke.

A chicken walks into a library an says to the librarian: Book, book, book. The librarian hands the chicken three books. On the way out, the chicken runs into a frog. The chicken shows the books to the frog and says:Book, book, book."
The frog replies: Reddit,redit, redit"

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I just killed off a few characters in the book I've been writing.

That should spice up my autobiography a little more

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I knew going to a Jewish school would be hard, but World book day was a nightmare.

Who knew they weren't fans on Mein Kampf?

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A chicken walks into a library

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A New Zealander walks into the bedroom with a sheep on a leash and says....

"Honey, this is the cow I make love to when you have a headache."

The wife, lying in the bed reading a book, looks up and says,
"If you weren't such an idiot, you'd know that's a sheep, not a cow."

The guy replies, "If you weren't such a presumptuous bitch, you'd realize I was talking to the sheep."


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To prove how stupid and egotistical writing a book is. I wrote a 4 page book in Kindergarten...

Dan.

Dan ran.

Dan ran to the cat.

Dan ran to the cat to pet the cat.

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I have officially decided to kill off a few characters in this book I'm writing,

It'll really spice up my autobiography.

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Im going to kill off some characters in this book Im writing

That should spice up my autobiography a little

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I'm writing a book, but I think it's gay.

It's coming out soon.

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I'm writing a book, and I'm pretty sure it's gay.

It's coming out soon.

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Someone wrote a book on clock fetishes.

It's about fucking time.

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What do you call a book club that's been stuck on one book for years?

Church

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I decided to kill off a few characters in the book I'm writing

It would definitely spice up my autobiography a little.

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An Epistolary Novel is a story told through documents, most commonly letters. What do you call a book of letters between two drunk Irishmen?

An I'm-Pissed-O'Leary Novel.

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Whats the difference between Canada and America?

In Canada you come home from school with your book bag, in america you come home from school in a body bag

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