Boob

Jokes

What's a boob addict's favourite book?

Infinite Chest.

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What does one saggy boob say to another?

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Carving a boob from a tree would be pretty cool.

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A blond goes to the doctor....

And says "I can't figure out what's wrong with me. When I touch my head it hurts, when I touch my boob it hurts, and when I touch my foot it hurts."

To which the doctor replies "ma'am I think you've broken your finger"

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Carving a boob from a tree would be pretty cool.

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What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

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What did one nervous boob say to the other nervous boob?

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What's the difference between and old dirty bus stop and a lobster with a boob job?

One is a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustation

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What do you call at least one boob?

A Pluralititty

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Lady wants a boob job

A lady goes to her husband and tells him she wants a boob job. She tells him it will give her more confidence and make her feel better about herself. He asks her how much and she tells him 10,000 dollars. He finally agrees but says under one condition. What’s that she asked. He tells her that she can do it but first she has to rub a piece of toilet paper between her breast for a month. She s


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The word Boob is actually a diagram.

B (top view) oo (front view) b side view.

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NSFW: Boobs

Warning : it's long

Oh I wish I had boobs that would wobble
Mine just stay still in one place
In the breast hall of fame
You won't see my name
For my boobs there would be a disgrace

Sure boobs of my size have their merit
They're easy to fit with a bra
And when I go for a dip
You won't see one slip out
The


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A woman wants to increase her boob size.

She goes to her hubby and says "I need $500 for a boob job."

Hubby says "Fuck off, just get a bit of toilet paper, and rub it between yer boobs".

She says "How will that make me boobs bigger?"

He says "Well, it worked on yer arse"

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There was once a woman who held a funeral for her boob after a mastectomy

The tombstone said "Breast In Peace"

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Whats the difference between an old bus station and a crab with a boob job...

Ones a crusty bus station, and the other’s a busty crustacean.

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Wife tells husband after 8 years of marriage

Wife: "I need 5K for a boob job!"

Husband: "Don't need that, just take some toilet tissue and rub it between your boobies - do that for 5 years"

Wife: "That's so stupid, what would that even do?"

Husband: "Just look what happened to your azzz!"


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Some people say God is Good.

By that logic, Bob is Boob.

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"If we win the jackpot I'll get a boob job", the wife said

-"If we win the jackpot I'll get new tires for the car", the husband answered

-"What's the point of wasting so much effort on the old car when you can get a new one?"

-"Exactly"

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A husband and wife were getting dressed in the bedroom...

A husband and wife were getting dressed in the bedroom. The wife was looking at her reflection and said to her husband;

"Honey, do you think I would look more beautiful if I had bigger breasts? Do you think I should get a boob job?"

The husband replied;

"Darling, I love you just the way you are".

His wife said;

&q


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What does one saggy boob, say to the other saggy boob?

If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.

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What's the difference a bus stop in the ghetto and a crab with a boob job?

One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean.

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What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with a boob job?

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

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What is the difference between a lobster with a boob job and a dirty bus stop?

One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean!

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What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!

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Hey, do you know that feeling of touching a girl's boob?

Yeah, neither do I.

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What did one saggy boob say to the other?

We better get some support before someone thinks we are nuts.

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Whats a mathematicians favorite type of boob?

Quantitties.

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Once, I accidentally scanned my female co-workers boob with a bar code scanner...

... I did not expected a "tit".

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I spend $5000 on a boob-job for my wife, shes delighted.

I spend another $2000 on a nose job for her, again, she’s delighted.

I spend a further $1000 on liposuction for her, once again, she’s delighted.

Once, I spend $30 on a blowjob for myself, and she goes fucking ape shit.

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My girlfriend bruised her breast the other day...

My boo got a boo-boo on her boob

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What do you call the cleavage of a person who had a boob job?

Silicone valley

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What do you call it when a woman marries a plastic surgeon for free breast augmentation, then leaves him?

The boob, scoot, and boogie.

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What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?


"We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"

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What do they call the aftermath of a successful boob job?

A chestnut

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Saggy boobs

What did one saggy boob say to the other ?

We better get support or else they'll think we're nuts

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What did one boob say to the other?

- don't hang so low, they'll think we're nuts



What did one nut say to the other?

- what are we hangin' for? Peter did all the shootin'



What did one leg say to the other?

- spread out, here come two nuts driving a hot rod

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Surgically removing body parts

When you get a boob removed, it’s called mastectomy.
When you get your Vas Deferens severed, it’s called a vasectomy.
So why, when you remove and ass cheek, is it not called an assectomy?

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Carving a boob from a tree would be pretty cool

Wooden tit

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What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?


"We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!

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Boob job

Wifey wanted to get a boob job to up her cup size, so she asks her husband what he thinks. He replies:"Boob jobs are very expensive, why don't you just rub toilet paper between your boobs, it'll make them grow in no time!"
Wife:"Really, you really think it'll work???"
Husband:"Well, it worked on your ass, didn't it?"


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An ex-girlfriend contacted me earlier today. I haven't replied, because I want nothing to do with her. It was a very toxic relationship. She was so artificial, and obsessed with fake shit like reality tv and celeb gossip. Still looked her up, though the boob job looks pretty good...

Still, not going back to that. Need someone "real" in my life. If anyone else wants in, though, be my guest! Go find my ex and get her to stop calling me...





Her name is Polly Esther.

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What did one titty say to the other titty?

Move over, you boob.

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What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

"If we don't get support soon, people are gonna think we're nuts!"

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Why is hitting something with your boob like the EU after Britain leaves ?

One is "post-Brexit", the other is "breast pokes it".

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Where do plastic surgeons shop at before a boob job?

Breast Buy

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What did one boob said to the other?

Everything happens down below, but everytime we get caught.

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Homeless woman goes to a plastic surgeon...

and asks what the cheapest boob job she can get is, surgeon says "For $80.08, I can tell you to get a job"

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A guys wife of many years says to him, honey, I want a boob job....

Ahhh baby you know we can’t afford that but here’s what you can do. Just take a lil wad of toilet paper and rub it between ya boobs, do that every day. What she says, that will make my boobs bigger? Yep he says, look what it did to your ass.

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What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

**If we don’t get some support soon, people are going to think we’re are nuts**

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What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with a boob job?

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

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