Bomb

Jokes

After the Hiroshima nuclear bomb exploded, how did the Japanese detect female survivors in the nuclear fallout?

They used a Geisha-Counter

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I was writing an essay when Keanu Reeves busted in and told me that there's a bomb on my computer and if my typing speed fell below 50 wpm, the whole laptop would explode.

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Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl?

You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.

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What did the robber say after detonating a bomb inside a bank?

EDIT: Wow! This blew up! Thanks for the gold!

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A bomb fell on a graveyard

BOOM

Everyone is dead.

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What did the reddior say when they made a viral post about a bomb sighting.

Edit: this blew up over night, thanks for the gold!

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I had to put a bomb inside a bull today. So I guess you could say hes

__*Abominable..*__

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Two terrorists are driving to a location where they are planning to plant a bomb.

One was driving and the other was in the passenger seat with the bomb on his lap. When car went over a speed bump at a high speed and the car shook, the one in the passenger said to the driver: "Hey! Drive slowly! This might go off!"

The driver replied: "Chill, man. You know we have got a spare one in the back."


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What did the burglar say after detonating a bomb in Fort Knox?

Edit: Wow! This blew up! Thanks for the gold!

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I'm trying to convince my cousin not to bring a bomb to school.

He thinks it'd be a real blast.

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1000 words are crammed into a hotel ballroom and they've just been notified that there is a bomb in the room and it needs to be diffused

There are 5 members on the bomb squad however only 4 arrive because there's no room for Error.

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I was going to make a joke about a defective bomb.

But it probably won't blow up.

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Why did the statistician take a bomb on a plane?

Because the odds of there being 2 bombs on the plane was practically 0

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I tried posting a joke about a malfunctioning bomb earlier

But it never blew up

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What did the Iraqis say when when an American plane dropped a bomb on a bank accidentally during the Gulf War?

Whoa! This has blown up. Thanks for the gold and silver kind strangers!

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An American walks into a pub in Ireland

And orders an irish car bomb. Barkeep says "certainly, sir. What kind of car do you drive?"

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I asked a girl "is your dad a terrorist?"

beacause you're the bomb

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What do you call an exploding clitoris?

A cherry bomb

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What did the burglar say after detonating a bomb inside Ft. Knox?

Edit: Wow! This blew up! Thanks for the gold!

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What did the burglar say after detonating a bomb in Ft Knox?

Edit: Wow! This blew up! Thanks for the gold! :)

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What if Montenegro had oil?

Than the US would bomb all the country, call it "peacemaking operations", install "democracy" there and rename it, because it's "nOt PoLiTiCaLlY CoRrEcT" (as if there wasn't languages where negro isn't offensive)

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What did the burglar say when he detonated a bomb to break into Fort Knox?

Wow, this blew up! Thanks for the gold.

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Los Alamos has a sister city that nearly completed the nuclear bomb before them

Los Almost.

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How do you start a disabled rave

Throw a flash bomb in a room full of kids with epilepsy

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What did the burglar say when he detonated a bomb to get into Fort Knox?

Edit: Wow, this blew up. Thanks for the gold!

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I stop my microwave at 0:01

to feel like a bomb disposal expert.

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I wasn't able to buy a new car because the dealer told me it would cost a bomb

I only had a RPG

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Youre the bomb! No, youre the bomb!

In America, a compliment.

In the Middle East, an argument.

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Where did the boy carrying the bomb end up? (NSFW)

Everywhere

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I thought of telling a terrorist joke, but I thought it would bomb.

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What does a bomb and a feminist have in common?

They both explode when trigerred.

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Why did the vampire enjoy the girl's company?

Because her pussy was the bomb period

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How does someone disarm a bomb with a timer?

Quick answers please

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I wrote a pretty bomb play

It's written entirely in Islambic pentameter.

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The best pickup line on a Middle Eastern woman

Are you from the Middle East cuz damn girl you da bomb!

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Why was the Muslim kid upset?

Because a white kid shot up his school the same day he planned to bomb it.

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How would you get the attention of the cute Air Stewardess?

Shout “I have a bomb”

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"You the bomb." "No, you the bomb."

A compliment in the U.S.

An argument in the Middle East

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A postman delivered a bomb...

then the post blew up.

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My wife got something called an I.E.D. implanted

So now we can have unprotected sex, and I think its bomb.

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If you activate a bomb, how do you deactivate it?

Quick answers please.

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What did the terrorist say after he detonated a bomb in Fort Knox?

Edit: wow! This blew up!

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What did the robber say after setting off a bomb in Fort Knox?

edit: wow this blew up! Thanks for the gold!

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What did the burglar say after detonating a bomb inside Fort Knox?

Edit: Wow! This blew up! Thanks for the gold!

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A farting bomb

So 2 guys wanted to go on a plane, once the got on the took off and flew up into the air and one said “DUDE YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT WE SHOULD DO” the other guy said “what” then he said again “DUDE YOU WANT TO WHAT WE SHOULD DO!” “What!” This happens 10 more times before the guy that said what he said “I meant what should we do?” He was like


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I always end my emails with the word "bomb"

That way at least I know *someone* will read it.

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There was a bomb threat at my local mall today.

There was a bomb threat at the mall in my area today. Apparently a suspect was seen wearing a white suit with wires hanging out of it.

The police arrived and evacuated the mall and approached the subject, and asked him to open his jacket, turns out it was cell phone charges.

The officer on the scene told the news reporter "Even though this was a non-issue, the call


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A Terrorist Tries Stand Up Comedy for the First Time...

Let's just say he was the bomb.

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Why is it hard to break up with a Japanese person?

Because you have to drop the bomb twice for them to understand.

P.S. : Reposting this as some Japanese folks didn't get it the first time around.

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Why is it so hard breaking up with a Japanese person?

You have to drop the bomb twice for them to understand.

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