Whats the difference between Actual and Grievous bodily harm?
Harvard Medical School has a new program for the study of bodily functions...
. . . the College of Farts and Sciences.
I punched a white guy at the gas station last week and got arrested for grievous bodily harm...
Punched a black guy in the shopping center today and got arrested for impersonating a police officer...
Need good kid-friendly joke! G-rated Thanksgiving tradition
Gang-I need your help.
One of our family traditions is to tell a joke at the Thanksgiving table.
The judges ages range from 7 to 11. So the jokes have to be age-appropriate-G-rated.
Anything that includes a bodily function (esp. farts) usually gets high marks.
Need your best stuff!
There is new term for waking up in prison, covered in various bodily fluids
A chemist went to see a doctor
"Doctor, I don't feel thirst and keep finding myself always dehydrated". "Drink 8 glasses of fluid a day as a guideline" adviced the doctor.
"Can I count in fruit juice?" asked the man. "Since they do contain a bit of sugar, don't forget to supplement the fluid intake with H20 too" replied the doctor.
"You sure doc? I
Its crazy how some people die after having a stroke, but others just lose a bodily function and are otherwise okay..
Different strokes for different folks I guess.
I want to die the same way I was born...
...a screaming mess of bodily fluids hurtling face first towards a vagina.
I read today that NASA may soon have a system th at recycles bodily waste from astronauts into a protein paste, which shows they have obviously heard the expression "eat shit",
Do you guys like jokes about the exchanging of bodily fluids for doggy biscuits?
Well, urine for a treat!
Valentines Day Poem
Valentines day it's truly a gift
I am proud to admit that I have nothing to omit
my maiden of choice is my right hand and spit
all those couples out there can go rot in shit
Lube is the dream I am saddened to say
that my bank account cannot pay.
my bodily fluids are here to stay
for there is no raise for this valentines day
A fart is the only bodily function which has its own punctuation.
The skid mark.
Sweaters aren't the only garment named after a gross bodily function...
There's wind breakers, too
What begins with a bodily discharge and ends with a child carer?
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
Keep the tip.
For those that don't know what a leper is: (essentially an infectious disease that can cause various bodily tissues to fall off)[http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leprosy]
Female bodily functions are not funny
Under regression hypnosis I revealed that I hurt my knee as a child.
Now I'm being charged with previous bodily harm :(
\[My first post on this sub, made the joke up last night. Be gentle! And US readers may not get it sorry.\]