Blunt

Jokes

Me: hits blunt

A kid named Blunt: Ouch man what the heck!

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What rhymes with blunt?

You.

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A man was found dead

Eye witnesses say that before he died he detailed how horrifying it was when he was younger and he and his friends dressed in skin tight suits with one color associated with each one corresponding to the color lf the suit, then they would smoke marijuana and pretend to fight giant monsters using robots


The doctors concluded that he died of blunt force trauma


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I knew a guy who went cliff diving while he was high and forgot to pull his chute.

He died of blunt force trauma.

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My friend punches me whenever I refuse to smoke weed with him

He’s given me blunt force trauma

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What do you call a Heterosexual man who is very blunt?

Straight to the point.

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Police are searching for a robber who's stealing blunt pencils.

Quite frankly, they cant see the point

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John Krasinski can't smoke weed without getting arrested for domestic abuse

Because he's hitting blunt

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I killed some one with some weed.

One could say it was blunt force trauma.

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My friend used my to-do-list as a wrap for his blunt

He was high on my list of priorities

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How did the pot-smoking Jedi die?

Blunt force trauma

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After waking up every morning, my roommate lights up a joint, and then throws it at me once hes done.

I’m suffering from blunt force trauma l

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My stoner spouse helped me write this.

So if you get yourself your favorite flavor of cigarillo and you just picked up some dank. You roll it up and have a smoke session just to yourself, but you have a bad fucking time because you're prone to psychosis and you have yourself a psychotic-break.

Would that be considered blunt-force trauma?


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I dont understand the point of jokes.

They should be blunt instead.

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The police should really keep tabs on band members

I always hear on the news about people being attacked with blunt instruments.

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Bro, if I cut off my leg would it hurt?

“Bro why would it hurt if you don’t have a leg”

*hits blunt*

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Paul Blunt

Mall Cunt

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Me: hits blunt

Blunt: hits back

Me: 😮

Blunt: yeah bitch bet you didn’t see that coming

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Me: hits blunt

Blunt: hits back
Me: 😮
Blunt: yeah bitch bet you didn’t see that coming.

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I hate talking to Mary Jane

She's just too blunt

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A monkey was smoking a blunt at the top of a tree...

When a lizard walking by smells the weed. She looks up and yells "Hey Monkey! Is that you?"

The monkey looks down and says "Oh hey man, come on up and take some hits."

After climbing up, the lizard starts to toke away with the monkey when she starts to get hungry.
She takes a puff and asks "You got any munchies, monkey?"

&q


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Doctor: "I have some pressing news..."

Me: "*Lay it on me Doc*"

Dr: "*I'll put this as lightly as I can, You have a mild blunt-force-trauma allergy*"

Me: "*Well, that hit me like a ton of bricks!*"

Dr: "*Don't let this hold you down...*"

Me: "*I's it congenital - because if it is, my kids'll be crushed*"


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A lighter hits a blunt and asks, what if there was a way to mark paper with a ink that doesnt cover the page so you can find important details

That a highlighter

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People say that weed and skunk smell pretty similar.

The difference is that skunk smell is just slightly sharper, while weed smell is more blunt.

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If a hammer had hair, what color would it be?

Blunt

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How did the stoner propose to his girlfriend?

He passed her a blunt with a ring around it and said:

Marriage, you wanna?

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How did the stoner propose to his girlfriend?

He passed her a blunt with a ring around it and said:

Marriage, you wanna?

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What did the German say when passed the blunt?

Danke.

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I once hit a blunt real hard

Damn, it delivered an insane equal and opposite reaction.

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What do you call a woman that's too straight forward?

Emily Blunt

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What does a gamer say to the stoner after he got his head hit by a rock?

You took blunt damage!!!

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What do you call a Jamaican murder weapon

A blunt object

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What do you call a Jamaican murder weapon

A blunt object

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How did the stoner die?

Blunt trama

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The detective stood over the body of a young man found dead of exhaustion in a cabaret, still clutching a 1920s cigarette wand with a marijuana joint smoldering at the end...

“Clubbed to death, with a blunt instrument.”

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I was driving home with my girlfriend after a long date...

And the song ain’t no sunshine comes on. Seeing as I want to express my love to her, I sing along.

A little bit into the song she sighs and tells me that I’m a terrible singer. Having grow up with very blunt parents, I tell her the only answer I have:

«I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know,


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I caught someone keying my mother-in-law's car.

Just before he got away I managed to stop him.

I said, "Here, try mine, yours are looking a little blunt."

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I caught someone keying my mother-in-law's car.

Just before he got away I managed to stop him.

I said, "Here, try mine, yours are looking a little blunt."

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If you are creating a weapon for blunt force trauma I would advise you to make it heavy and balanced while being suitable to your size and strength.

Not to put too fine a point on it.

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Do you know what does the straightforward weed say as a premise to everything?

"I'll be blunt".

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A black man hits blunt and thinks

“Why did I name my kid blunt?”

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A man hits blunt ant thinks....

Why the hell did I name this kid “blunt”

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What did one stoner noodle say to the other?

Pasta blunt homie.

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Joe wenton vacation to Cuba and asked his best friend to care of his mom and his cat.

After a week in Cuba, Joe gets a call from his friend.

Joe: Hey what's up man, how's everything back home?

Friend: Your cat died.

Joe: What?! You can't just call me and tell me my cat died.

- You could have made a first call and say: "Your cat is stuck in a tree and won't come down.

- Then a second call wher


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Why do people keep blunt needles?

There’s no point.

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Two Marijuana dispensaries created a merger deal, becoming one.

To be blunt, the stakes were high, but they were hopeful as it was a joint venture.

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My stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap earlier today...

He was high on my list of priorities...

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Hits Blunt

"Sir, naming your child Blunt is not a 'loophole in the system'"

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Mr. Koala is smoking a blunt

Mr. Lizard wanders up to his tree and shouts "Hey, Mr. Koala! What are you up to?" He replies "smoking a blunt, want to hit it?"
Mr. lizard climbs the tree and he and Mr. Koala smoke and bullshit for a while. Eventually Mr. Lizard says "I've got a real bad case of cottonmouth. I'm gonna go to the watering hole, I'll be back, Mr. Koala" Mr. Koal


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Why would John Krasinski hitting his wife get him drug related criminal charges?

He'd be caught hitting a Blunt.

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