Blue

Jokes

A guy driving in his car decides to do some good deeds today!

Shortly after he sees a guy dressed completely in yellow waving at him. So our guy stops the car and rolls down the window.
"Hello there friend", says our guy, "how may I help you?"

The guy in yellow then responds. "Hello friend, I am the yellow faggot! I need a ride to the city."

Our guy is very confused about that but decides to help


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you call Mountain Dew that gives you a heart attack?

Mountain Dew Code Blue

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

St. Peter was giving an angel their first tour of Heaven. "We keep the Holy Cow in that big red barn, the Holy Mackerel in that crystal blue lake over there. I guess I don't have to tell you what we keep in there..."

He said, pointing at the bathrooms.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Roses are red.......

violets are blue

....if violets are blue whats violet?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What is your favourite colour of khaki trousers?

I had some nice blue khakis' back in the day.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What did the man in the red car tell the man in the blue car that crossed him

Mauve bitch

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why did Yellow divorce Green?

Because Green blue Indigo.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Skyrim Why are the stormcloaks black and blue?

Because they can't see the White*-*Gold Concordat.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Whats black, blue and hates having sex?

The 10 year old in the back of my trunk

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Marylanders: Do you know how to tell the difference between male and female Chesapeake blue crabs ?

The female will tell you how to eat her.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I went to the doctor with hearing problems

He said "Can you describe the symptoms?"

I said "Homer is fat, Lisa is smart and Marge has blue hair"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Roses are red, violets are blue

Aisha was 9, Mohammad was 52

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's common between a blue bird and red octopus?

They are both blue except the octopus.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What is blue and smells like red paint?

Blue paint.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I drank a bunch of colloidal silver over the last few years and it's got me depressed

I'm feeling pretty blue

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A mortician and a recent widow are in the morgue, her dead husband in a casket wearing a grey suit...

The widow says "Harold always liked a blue suit, like that man over there in the casket is wearing". The mortician says, "No problem M'am, I'll take care of it if you step out for a few minutes". Five minutes later, the mortician calls her back in and sure enough, her husband is wearing the blue suit. " That's wonderful...you did this very fast"! &


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Right sky at night - shepherd's delight. Blue sky at night -

Day.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Smurfing...

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I'd much rather live in Norway than Denmark so I don't have to switch insurance providers.

Denmark doesn't have a Blue Cross as far as I know.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Roses are red, violets are blue

the amazon's on fucking fire.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Blue

Did you hear about the group of people that don't believe in the color blue? They think it's cyan's fiction

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Two granny's went to a blue berry

One couldn't fit!


Ahahahahahahaha

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, stop yelling at me

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Smurfs must have really awful sex lives.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you call a 4x4 Van painted blue with no wheels?

I don't know how about you tell me

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Roses are red, Violets are blue

Sunflowers are yellow

I bet you were expecting something romantic but no, this us just gardening facts

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I used to work as a lifeguard

Until some blue kid got me fired.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I flew Jet Blue the other day

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's blue but doesn't weigh much?

Light blue

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What is blue but not heavy?

Light blue

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A man walks into a store to buy cheese.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's blue and not very heavy?

Light blue.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's blue and fucks old grannies?

Me and my lucky blue coat!!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

There are a pair of twins at my workplace. Bruce is a clearly Native Alaskan man, and his sister Ann is a blond haired blue eyed girl with fair skin. They are half Native and half White, with a Native dad and a White mom.

And Ann got the white half.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Rose's are Red....

Violets are blue.... I've got a Gun..... Get in the Van!!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

The blue whale has a vagina large enough to fit around 5-7 men. That makes her the second biggest pussy right behind

The kid who said his not playing just before he was about to be tagged

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

The Blue Whale's Testicles are the size of Volkswagen Beetles.

That's nuts.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's bright blue, pink, and sizzles?

A baby breastfeeding on an electrical outlet.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Whats blue and not very heavy?

Light blue

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My barber

My barber was cutting my hair when, out of the blue, he said, "Look, I don't want to worry you but I just found out I'm HIV positive."
"It doesn't worry me at all," I replied.
"It should," he said. "I'm sleeping with your wife."

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What is pink and fluffy?

Pink fluff

What is blue and fluffy?

Pink fluff holding it's breath

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's 12 inches long, has a blue head and makes women scream when they see it?

Cot death

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What is red and smells like blue paint

RED PAINT!!!!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What color does steve like?

blue

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

One day, Putin summons the ghost of Stalin.

He asks him, "Why is everything here so bad? What should I do to make Russia great again?"

Stalin replies, "Execute most of the government and paint the Kremlin blue."

"Why blue?" asks a perplexed Putin.

"I knew you wouldn't object to the first part," says Stalin.


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Roses are red violets are blue....

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What color is lighter than blue?

Light blue

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Whats the most dangerous thing you can be asked in Los Angeles, Liverpool, and Manchster?

Are you a blue or a red?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Whats the difference between blue and light blue?

Light blue is a lighter shade

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Roses are red, violets are blue

I'm schizophrenic, and so am I

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE
LOAD MORE