Last year my girlfriend made me make a swear jar, every time I swear I have to put $1 in and after 12 months it goes to charity. Today I opened it up and said out loud Blooming heck, theres no gosh darn money in here.
‘Cause I’m a fucking tight arse.
What do you call an Australian girl with a yeast infection?
A blooming onion
A lady knocked at my door and asked me to ...
A lady knocked at my door and asked me to make her a donation.
I made her a donation and now she smells like a blooming ornamental pear tree.
NSFW A young native american boy asks his mother...
He says to her, "Mother, how did you choose my name?"
His mother sits him down and explains,
"Well son, it is tradition of our people to name the baby after the first sight in nature we see after opening the teepee on the morning of your birth."
She continues, "This is why your eldest brother is named Soaring Sparrow, and your sister is call
One day a little boy comes home from school. The boy goes in his house And the father asks
Father- what did you do in school today son?
Son- uhm, today we learned about girls parts, boys parts, and how they work
Father- oh.. Well.. Do you have any questions?
Son- uhmmm.. What does a vagina look like?
Father- well son before sex a vag
I was confused when I saw that my friend's flower bed was alive and blooming.
"Didn't your poppies die last week?" I asked. "They're not poppies" he said, "They're rein-carnations".
Did your dad jerk off into a flower pot?
Because you're a blooming idiot!