A blonde is driving on the highway...
... Past a flax field in bloom and sees another blonde in a canoe trying to paddle through the field. She pulls over, gets out and yells at the blonde in the canoe: "Just what are you trying to do?! You can't canoe there! You're giving all blondes a bad name! If I could swim, I'd come over there and teach you a lesson!"
Would Orlando Bloom?
No, but Elijah Wood.
During the Oscar Ceremony
While awarding the Oscar the anchorman suddenly farted and Orlando Bloom had thought that his name was announced as the winner
Screw those mushrooms
A lady whose husband is away on a long business trip, was feeling frisky but didn't want to cheat on him. She saw a mushroom growing in her garden that was fairly firm and decided to have a go at screwing it and she enjoyed it. Her neighbor saw the act and that night, buried himself in the garden and stuck out his penis like the mushroom.
Next morning, she screwed both mushrooms and so
Bloom should not have punched Beiber ...
After all, you punch a man, you slap a bitch.
But you can.
Not every flower can bloom, but a rose can. Not every plant can survive without rain, but a cactus can. And not every retard can read, but look at you! Go little buddy go!
(sorry if repost, first post on this sub)